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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27806866">Christmas From Now On</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alyson/pseuds/Alyson'>Alyson</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>23rd Century but Jim's a College Student, AU, Alyson's 2020 Multi Chapter Advent, Christmas, Doesn't Earn Its Rating Until the End, Extended Families, Fluff, Getting Together, Happily Ever After, Jim Angsts for Leonard, Kelvin Timeline, Kirks and McCoys Old Friends, Light Angst, Living with theMcCoys, M/M, Pining, Secret Santa, Thanksgiving</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 16:36:06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>44,911</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27806866</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alyson/pseuds/Alyson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim has been living with the McCoys his entire life but it took 17 years to really notice Leonard and another four to be noticed back, though not in a way he would have liked. He gets a chance to change that though using a family tradition, the Secret Santa gift exchange. He has 25 days to make Leonard understand he deserves better than Jocelyn Darnell.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James T. Kirk/Leonard "Bones" McCoy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>108</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>50</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Prologue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I posted an extended, and different, author's note to Tumblr yesterday (@AlysonScarborogh). A couple of things I thought I should mention here. This is not following an Advent Calendar that was posted online at any time, I slapped it together myself. It is also a multi chapter fic, not the traditional story a day Advent, and it goes past Christmas, so I hesitated calling it an Advent Calendar even though that's what the bulk of the story is. It's also important to understand how I picture the McCoys – I see them as a modern but fairly traditional family. They like to celebrate the old holidays handed down from their North American ancestors, but Thanksgiving is not in remembrance of pilgrims and natives but in the simple joy of once a year gathering your loved ones together for a meal to voice all that they're thankful for. They also celebrate Christmas but in a secular way that would insult some of my more insufferable family lol. If any of that isn't for you, please don't read, otherwise, enjoy the hell out of what promises to be a rather schmoopy (is that a word?) fic!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Leonard McCoy was ten years old, he walked into the kitchen of the house he lived in with his parents to find his mamma crying on his daddy's shoulder. When his daddy looked up and saw him, he could see that he had been crying, too, but he nudged his wife and they both wiped the tears off their cheeks and straightened out their clothes and hair. When they turned to him it was with grim looks. They weren't even going to pretend that everything was fine, and that set Leonard on edge.</p><p>“Len,” his mother said gently as they came over to him and knelt at his level. “Do you remember our friends George and Winona Kirk?”</p><p>He nodded, but only because he recognized their names. He didn't remember what they looked like, but he knew they had visited before. He had a memory of them having a baby with them, too young to really play with, but old enough to sit on the floor and slobber on his fist as the adults made cooing noises over him, which was fine by Leonard. Once they had finished being excited over how big he had gotten, he had been able to escape to his room to play while they focused on the slobbery kid on the floor.</p><p>“Well,” his mother went on, her chin starting to wobble before she got control over it. “They're in Starfleet, and George was on the Kelvin and Winona was with him. Something happened out in space and the Kelvin got destroyed. Winona is OK, but George is gone.”</p><p>“You mean he's dead,” Leonard said with the bluntness of a child. He instantly felt bad when his mamma started crying again.</p><p>“Yes, son,” his daddy replied, not even mad at him, though Leonard felt maybe he should be. “So mamma and I are pretty upset right now and will be for awhile. We didn't want you worried that something else was going on. Also, as soon as she's back on Earth, we're going to go see Winona.”</p><p>“OK, daddy, I understand,” Leonard said as grown up as he could. “I'm sorry you lost your friend.”</p><p>“Thank you, Len. Thank you.”</p><p>*~*~*~*~*</p><p>They didn't go and visit Winona when she got back to Earth. She came to stay with them. She brought the little boy, Sam, Leonard had remembered except, unsurprisingly, he was a lot bigger. He was about six, which was still baby-ish, but he figured they could still play OK. She also brought a real baby with her. This one wasn't even as old as Sam had been when Leonard had first seen him. This one was so little; he slept, he ate, and he cried a lot. But, when he wasn't crying, he was soft and smelled good.</p><p>Well, he smelled good most of the time.</p><p>Still, he couldn't climb trees yet, so Leonard wasn't really interested in him. His daddy made sure to introduce them anyhow.</p><p>“His name is Jim,” his daddy said quietly as he showed Leonard the sleeping baby. “He and his mamma and his brother are going to stay with us awhile.”</p><p>“How long?” Leonard asked.</p><p>“As long as they need to,” his daddy replied. “Are you alright with that?”</p><p>“Sure,” Leonard shrugged. “Ms. Winona seems nice, I can show Sam my tree house, and Jim doesn't do nothin'. I'm fine with them here.”</p><p>“You're a good kid, Len,” his daddy chuckled and ruffled his hair.</p><p>*~*~*~*~*</p><p>They were there for three months before anything changed.</p><p>“Are they leaving?” Leonard asked his mamma while he was helping her clean up dishes one night. He had seen her and Ms. Winona talking, crying, then hugging. Then Ms. Winona had packed a couple of bags.</p><p>“Winona is going back to space,” his mother smiled. “The boys are going to stay with us while she's gone. She'll come back to visit, though.”</p><p>“Doesn't baby Jim still need her?” he asked, confused.</p><p>“Jim still has her,” his mother replied. “Parents, especially Starfleet parents, aren't always with their children, but that's OK. He and Sam have us, too, and their mom will visit as often as she can. Some families are like that.”</p><p>He nodded, taking her word for it.</p><p>It would be years later that he would find out that Winona Kirk couldn't bear to be around her children for very long. She loved them with all she had, and she hated herself for not being able to put the hurt of losing her husband behind her, but she couldn't function on Earth for very long at a time, not with the love of her life spread across the cosmos. It was the only place she felt peace. Over the years she would get as much therapy as she could, and she managed to have a loving relationship with her sons, but leaving them with a stable and loving family was the best she could do for them at the time.</p><p>*~*~*~*~*</p><p>“Len! Len! Where you going?”</p><p>“You still following me around, squirt?”</p><p>Jim always followed Leonard around. Since he could remember he was always trying to get Leonard to pay attention to him, but the older boy was always closing his bedroom door in his face or not lettinghim come up into the tree house with him and Sam. It wasn't fair. He thought once he was seven, he'd at least be allowed in the tree house with him. But Leonard didn't play out there anymore. He was too busy with school, football, and some girl named Pamela.</p><p>Jim did not like Pamela.</p><p>“Where are you going?” he asked again, enunciating every word in case the seventeen year old hadn't understood him the first time.</p><p>“I'm going to school,” he scowled at him as he shoved clothes into a suitcase. For once, he hadn't slammed his bedroom door on the smaller boy.</p><p>“Why do you need a suitcase just to go to school?”</p><p>“Because, I got early admittance. I'm going to Mississippi. To college.”</p><p>“Mississippi? But we live in Georgia!”</p><p>“I know,” Leonard laughed as he hauled the case up and started heading downstairs. “That's why I need a suitcase.”</p><p>That's when it hit Jim – Leonard was leaving. Leonard was leaving and no one had told him. He sat onthe top step, watching the older boy leave the house without a glance back at him, and started crying. He just wanted him to like him as much as he did Sam, but he didn't even know he was there, and now he was leaving, forever.</p><p>“Oh, honey,” Eleanora said when she found him, standing him up and giving him a firm hug. “He'll be back. Over the summer, every holiday. And you know what tomorrow is?”</p><p>“I don't remember,” Jim shook his head, wiping his cheeks. </p><p>“Your mother's coming for a visit and taking you and Sam to San Francisco for a few days!”</p><p>Jim cheered and ran upstairs to his own room to pack his own bag. He forgot all about Leonard for a few days.</p><p>*~*~*~*~*</p><p>As Jim grew older and made his own circle of friends, much of his early childhood faded away into barely recalled memories. Tales of him following around his brother Sam and his foster brother Leonard were embarrassing stories he had no real memories of. As for Leonard, medical school was no picnic and he spent more time away then at home. There were cousins on Jim's father's side of the family that he saw more often than Len. It wasn't until Leonard graduated college and moved back to Georgia to do his residency that Jim really saw him again.</p><p>“Good lord, squirt,” was the first thing Leonard said to him when he saw him standing at the shuttle depot with David. “I guess you've been eating mamma's cooking. You've grown.”</p><p>“I don't see how you're calling me squirt,” he smirked. “I'm taller than you.”</p><p>“You are not.”</p><p>“Oh, I think he is,” Leonard's father laughed. “Maybe by a half inch, but definitely taller.”</p><p>“Traitor,” Leonard playfully snarled at his father, before hugging them both and handing over his luggage so they could head home.</p><p>Jim sat in the back of the ground car, listening to the two doctors discuss a recent patient of the older doctor's and the younger one's upcoming residency. He was blindsided seeing Leonard. The other man had spent so many holidays away from home out of necessity, and when he did come home it was time mostly spent with his biological family while Jim was busy with friends or off on an adventure with his mom, that Jim really hadn't seen him in nearly ten years. </p><p>They had both changed. Leonard was no longer gangly; he had grown into his large, wide hands with broad shoulders and chest. Even freshly shaved, the shadow of his beard was threatening to come in. He was clearly no longer on the cusp of adulthood. Jim was only seventeen, and he'd had a few crushes, but the pounding of his heart, the heating of his cheeks... his stomach clenched thinking about the man in the front seat, hearing his voice. He found himself fantasizing about being alone with him.</p><p>A pit of dread opened up in his stomach. He was so going to end up embarrassing himself.</p><p>*~*~*~*~*</p><p>He managed not to embarrass himself over the following four years but it was a near thing, especially when Leonard was courting Pamela again. Thankfully that mistake waiting to happen died a natural death.</p><p>Jim tried to convince himself that the crush he was harboring would also die a natural death. He was only seventeen, after all, when he realized that Leonard was a handsome man that he was attracted to, and that the attraction was deeper than any had experienced before. Unfortunately, that's not what happened. At first, it wasn't so bad; Leonard was busy with his residency the first two years home and he only rarely saw him. When he did, he dismissed the jump in his chest to being surprised by his handsome foster brother he rarely saw.</p><p>The next two years, though, were a different story. Leonard entered private practice with his father and suddenly, he had free time. Just as suddenly, he wanted to know the young man who had been living in his home for nineteen years and whom he'd ignored just as long.</p><p>“I do feel bad about that,” Leonard confessed one night as they sat on the porch, eating leftover cobbler. “When you got here, you were a screaming infant. I didn't hate you, I just didn't care. I vaguely remember dad asking if I was OK with you living with us and my answer was something along the lines of 'he can stay, he won't bother me.' I basically meant it's not like you could get into my stuff. And when you could, it was easy enough to keep you out.”</p><p>“Yeah, I barely remember when you lived here all the time,” Jim shrugged. “I kinda remember wanting your attention, but I think it was just I thought I was a big kid and should be allowed to play with the big kids. Now, I realize you would have been a teenager when I was like five.”</p><p>“Wow, I'm old.”</p><p>“No you're not,” Jim laughed.</p><p>“Compared to you!”</p><p>“Compared to me you're also ugly.”</p><p>Eleanora yelled at them to stop wrestling on the porch.</p><p>A few days after that, Jim was helping Leonard move into his own apartment down town, closer to the practice.</p><p>“What are you studying again?” he asked Jim while they took a break to eat pizza and have a beer. “I know I was told, but...”</p><p>“Engineering,” Jim replied, not letting the fact he couldn't even remember that bother him (even though it did a little).</p><p>“What about Starfleet?” Len broached with a tone of voice that said he was trying to be careful. “I know what happened with your daddy and all, but Aunt Winona's always coming back with amazing stories about deep space and alien worlds. I thought maybe that kind of exploration would entice you out there.”</p><p>“I thought about it,” Jim shrugged. “Maybe if I didn't have anything on Earth... but I have a family here. I mean, I know Sam went off to colonize another world, but that wasn't really his first choice. That was about his and Aurlean's research. Still, they're not that far away and visit a couple of times a year. Who knows when I'd see them if I was in deep space.”</p><p>“Plus, it's space,” Leonard chimed in, giving an exaggerated, full body shudder.</p><p>Jim laughed and they tapped the necks of their beer bottles together in solidarity. At least that's what it was to Jim. Solidarity in staying on solid ground, with their family.</p><p>“I'm surprised you stayed at home,” Len continued, shaking his head. “I left for a good reason.”</p><p>“Yeah, your mamma likes me better than you and you knew it."</p><p>“Oh haha. Seriously, you could still get your own apartment. Hell, why don't you come stay with me?”</p><p>Jim was shocked by the offer, though he wondered if that had been the plan all along. Leonard had gotten a two bedroom, after all, when all he needed was a one. That is, unless he was going to invite someone to come live with him.</p><p>“Um, OK,” Jim agreed, wondering if that was the right decision.</p><p>*~*~*~*~*</p><p>Oh, it was the right decision, Jim decided as he watched Leonard walk Jocelyn Darnell to the door after their 'date.' Jim had spent the evening in his room studying while the two love birds had sat on the sofa and watched a vid. Jocelyn had expressed her disappointment when she first visited the new place and was introduced to Jim. She had thought Leonard would be living alone, and if he needed a roommate...</p><p>“Jim's my little brother,” he had drawled, and Jim's blood boiled. He had never felt less like a brother to anyone. They could maybe be referred to as brothers in arms. Brethren, even. Especially if it was against that simpering blonde.</p><p>She was even more disappointed that Jim was there that night for their date, that they couldn't have a romantic dinner. She seemed doubly put out that she was being walked to her transport. When Leonard came back inside it was to Jim scowling at him. He at least had the decency to look embarrassed.</p><p>“Why did you ask me to move in?” Jim asked him.</p><p>“OK, I'm sorry, it was partly to keep Jocelyn from strong arming me into letting her move in. I did that we'd be married and there'd be a baby in your room within eighteen months. I needed to make sure we don't move too fast. But that's only partly it. I considered getting a one bedroom first, but then I realized it would be nice to have some company, and we've become friends over the last few years. I did get this place with the idea to ask you to move in.”</p><p>“OK,” Jim accepted the explanation, though he wasn't done. “If Jocelyn is so pushy, why don't you just break up with her?”</p><p>“It's not that easy, Jim,” Leonard laughed and ruffled his hair like he was a child, despite having to reach up to do it. “I do love her.”</p><p>“Whatever,” Jim shrugged, fixing his hair.</p><p>He honestly didn't see how Leonard could love that woman. She didn't seem like the type that could love you back.</p><p>*~*~*~*~*</p><p>They were back in their childhood home for Thanksgiving. It wasn't something everyone still celebrated, but those who did celebrated it as a time for family and friends to be grateful for all that they had. The McCoys had always been one of those old fashioned families where Thanksgiving and Christmas took center stage at the end of the year.</p><p>“Jim,” David called as everyone was settling down to have pie. “Come on into the sitting room, son.”</p><p>Jim perked up and followed his foster father with great trepidation into the sitting room, taking a seat among the other adults there. He had turned twenty one that year, and was just realizing that he would be now included in the adult post Thanksgiving dinner activities. The elder McCoy closed the double doors that separated the sitting room from the rest of the house and Jim was filled with excitement. He often wondered what happened during these meetings.</p><p>“Well, well, well,” Leonard grinned evilly at him from his place on the love seat. “Since you're the newest adult, Jim, you get to go first. Who has the ritual paddle?”</p><p>“Leonard, cut that out,” Eleanora chastised him.</p><p>“Oh, mamma, he didn't believe me,” Leonard pointed to where Jim was sticking his tongue out at him. </p><p>“Anyhow,” David interrupted. “It's time to let Jim know what's going on and include him in the festivities.”</p><p>“You mean break his heart,” their cousin Martin said. “Sorry kid, the days of waking up Christmas morning to a bunch of presents under the tree are over.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“This is better!” Eleanora exclaimed. “The adults do a secret Santa. That way we don't have to get something for everyone in the family or feel like we left someone out.”</p><p>“So, here's how it goes, Jim,” David picked up. “You pick a name from the hat... don't tell anyone who you get! You have a choice of what you want to do. Some of us like to give little gifts through out December. Doesn't have to be every day. Some like to do the whole twelve days of Christmas thing. And others just do one gift at the end. Whatever you pick, we'll present the gift or final gift at the end of the family Christmas party. That part's informal. Just find the person, give them their gift, have a good laugh.”</p><p>“Sounds like fun,” Jim smiled.</p><p>The hat was passed around and names were drawn. Every one looked at their slip of paper, playfully keeping others from peeking, then tucking them away into pockets and wallets. Anxiously, Jim drew his, and looked, holding his breath. He let it out in a huff. Aunt Rita, David's sister. He had no idea what he was supposed to get her.</p><p>“Sorry, folks, gotta take this,” Leonard suddenly said, hopping up to take a phone call.</p><p>David made to follow him out of the room, until they all heard Leonard's side of the conversation and the repeats of 'yes, Jocelyn,' 'sorry, Jocelyn,' 'I was with fam... sorry Jocelyn, be there soon.' Knowing it wasn't a patient that had taken Leonard away from the family, David sat back down, shaking his head. Everyone started speaking in hushed tones the minute Leonard was out the door.</p><p>“I don't like that girl.”</p><p>“She's so demanding.”</p><p>“Doesn't she get that he's a doctor?”</p><p>“Oh, she gets that just fine.”</p><p>“She doesn't respect him or his family.”</p><p>“There's no telling him anything, though.”</p><p>Eleanora, clearly upset by her son's sudden departure, motioned to Jim to help her gather up coffee cups. He did, carrying them to the kitchen and helping her load them into the sanitizer. When they were done, she turned to him with a troubled look on her face.</p><p>“How serious is Leonard about her?”</p><p>“I don't know for certain,” he admitted, feeling pre-emptively guilty for the 'report' he knew he was going to give his foster mother. “He made sure I was moved into the apartment so that she couldn't convince him to let her move in. He said he didn't want to move too fast. It's weird. He says he loves her and everything, but he'll use me or work or whatever he can think of as an excuse to keep from seeing her sometimes. I mean, he still sees her, obviously, but it's like she's constantly pushing to go faster while he has to put on the brakes. She's going to wear him down, sooner or later. I don't know why he wants to live like that.”</p><p>“I don't think he really loves her,” Eleanora sighed. “I think he's got this idea of what he wants out of life and Jocelyn fits into one of the spaces. He's not doing either one of them any favors. There's nothing we can do about it, though. Just have to let it play out. Oh, I wanted you to come with me, too, because I need a favor.” She reached into her pocket and pulled out her slip of paper from the secret Santa exchange. “I still get my kids presents for Christmas, so don't you forget to give me your wish list. Makes it redundant for me to get one of you for the exchange, though. Whatever I get for him, I would have gotten for him anyway. Trade?”</p><p>“Sure,” Jim shrugged, handing over his own slip. “I had no idea what to do with her anyhow.”</p><p>“Oh, Rita's easy,” Eleanora smiled. “A bottle of booze will make her happy.”</p><p>Jim laughed and looked at his new slip. Leonard. His heart lept at the thought he was going to be Leonard's secret Santa. He couldn't help but give his foster mother a big grin, which she returned with a wink.</p><p>*~*~*~*~*</p><p>Jim didn't get home until late, but when he did, it was to find Leonard on their sofa, staring forlornly at a holovid.</p><p>“Hey, I didn't expect you home tonight.”</p><p>“Joc-lyn was unhappy with my late arrival,” he slurred. “She said I could jus' go home.”</p><p>“And I see you've had a few,” Jim sighed as he sat down next to his inebriated friend.</p><p>“Jus' a few,” he agreed.</p><p>“Why do you do this to yourself?” Jim asked, his heart aching.</p><p>“This isn't love, this is torture. She doesn't treat you right and she's so up in your face, barely giving you a chance to breath. You have to spend more of your time pushing her away than being with her. That's not a relationship.”</p><p>“Is easier.”</p><p>“Than what?”</p><p>“Than nothin'”</p><p>“It's easier than nothing? I don't understand.”</p><p>“Is easier than having nothin'”</p><p>“But you don't have nothing,” Jim argued. “You have me. Don't you want something, someone, who makes your breath easier, not someone who suffocates you?”</p><p>Leonard didn't answer. Jim looked over at him to find he had fallen asleep, his head leaning onto the back of the couch, his mouth wide open. Jim rolled his eyes and stood up, tugging Leonard into a prone position onto the couch before covering him with a blanket from his bed. He leaned over him, brushing dark bangs away from his forehead.</p><p>“You're special,” he whispered to the sleeping man. “You deserve to be loved back, not to be the one doing all the loving. You deserve to be treated like you're special. You deserve to feel like you're special. Damn it. What I feel... it's not just a crush.”</p><p>Jim went to bed, a plan formulating in his mind.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Day 1 - Red</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>On day 1 of the Secret Santa gift exchange, Jim gives Leonard something red, and a reminder that he's special.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I don't use a beta, which may be my ultimate downfall. I realized just yesterday that I was misspelling Winona and Eleanora. I'm pretty sure I've been guilty of that before. So I used find and replace bit you may still find instances of the wrong spellings.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The first thing Jim did was lock himself in his room, pull out a PADD, pull up a list of festive adjectives, and begin to make a list. He bit the end of his stylus as he looked over the list once he had finalized it. He had really set himself a challenge. He didn't know how he was going to fill all of these, but he was determined to do so.</p><p><br/>He pulled up another text processing file and began composing. He, as Secret Santa, would warn Leonard about what was about to happen. The trick was to pour his heart into it without weirding the other man out too much. This was supposed to be a family thing, after all. He couldn't go into it declaring his intentions. That would either send Leonard to his parents concerned about a cousin with incestuous feelings, or he'd know it was Jim.</p><p><br/>Unless him being his foster brother counted in Leonard's eyes. He hadn't really thought of that, before. </p><p><br/>Sure, he loved the McCoys like family. They were family. David and Eleanora were parents to him, but Winona hadn't abandoned him. He heard from her on comms every other day; she'd send a recorded message if she couldn't call him live. She visited as much as she could even as he got older, taking him and Sam, and then just him, on trips all over Earth and the solar system. She was his mom.<br/></p><p>But did Leonard actually see Jim as a brother? He had said as much to Jocelyn, but he was always talking out of his ass to that woman. He didn't see Leonard as a brother. The man had spent more time with his models of bones than he had with him as he was growing up. He understood that. There was a ten year age difference that caused a rift between them growing up. Jim, for one, was grateful for it, though he realized if there hadn't have been he might not feel the way he was feeling at that moment.<br/></p><p>Swallowing his trepidation and his concerns, he began composing. It wasn't Wordsworth, but it would have to do.</p><p><br/>*~*~*~*~*</p><p><br/>“Mamma?” Jim nervously stuck his head around the door of the kitchen to find Eleanora already getting Christmas cookies prepped. </p><p><br/>“Jim! What a nice surprise,” she grinned brightly, wiping her hands off on her apron before pulling him into a hug. “To what do I owe this pleasure? Did you bring your wish list?”</p><p><br/>“Oh, yes, I have that, too,” handing her a short list of desirable gifts.</p><p><br/>“Sweetheart, this looks like a school supply list.”</p><p><br/>“No, no, the clothes is team wear from my favorite Paresses Squares team and I know it kind of looks like it, but those books are not required reading. They actually are for fun.”</p><p><br/>“<em>A Dissertation on the Effect of World War III on Warp Theory?</em>”</p><p><br/>“Yeah, yeah!” Jim was suddenly excited. “It postulates that if Zephram Cocrane had lived during a time of peace that...”</p><p><br/>“OK, I can see you're excited about this. It must be for fun. But you said you had this, too. What else did you need, sweetheart?”</p><p><br/>“Um, can you help me with sneaking Leonard's secret Santa gifts to him?”</p><p><br/>“Absolutely! I should have let you know before that this house is often a central hub for secret Santa drop offs and pick ups. Makes it easier to keep people from knowing.”</p><p><br/>“You know who's everyone's is, don't you?” Jim said, giving her a sly smile.</p><p><br/>“I will eventually be privy to several,” she smiled back with a conspiratorial air. “You will be, too, if I make you my helper this year. That will also give you an excuse to leave presents for Leonard in your home or give them directly to him. Just say you did a pickup. I assume you're doing the multiple presents if you're needing help?”</p><p><br/>“Um, yeah,” he admitted, handing over a folded piece of thick off-white paper, Leonard's name printed in a swirling font. “I decided to go all out, and I need him to have this by tonight. Tomorrow's the first, and that's when I'm going to start giving him gifts.”</p><p><br/>“Well, he's coming home for lunch with his father today. I'll give it to him then.”</p><p><br/>“Thanks ma!” Jim kissed her cheek, feeling relieved to have her in his corner. “I better get out of here, then. I gotta get back to campus, anyhow. Break hasn't started yet!”</p><p><br/>He dashed out of the house to the sound of her pealing laughter.</p><p><br/>*~*~*~*~*</p><p><br/>Once she knew he was gone, Eleanora unfolded the card and read what Jim had written to Leonard. The smile that touched her lips then was tender and knowing. She knew, if Leonard would just open his heart to his secret Santa, all would be right in the world.</p><p><br/>She also knew Jim had an uphill battle ahead of him.</p><p><br/>*~*~*~*~*</p><p><br/>“Lunch was wonderful as usual,” David sighed, pushing back from the table. “Come on, son, let's get the dishes done so we can get back to work.”</p><p><br/>“Sure, Dad,” Leonard replied, picking up his and his mamma's plates to take to the kitchen.</p><p><br/>“Oh, I have something for you, Len,” she said, standing up and going over to the hutch in their dining room, picking Jim's card up off the side board.</p><p> “Your secret Santa has already dropped off something for you.”</p><p><br/>“What? It's not even December,” he scowled and took the dishes to be deposited into the sink where his father was already getting them ready for the sanitizer.</p><p><br/>“Well, it will be tomorrow. Maybe they needed a head start.”</p><p>“You should know. I know you've already read this.”</p><p><br/>“Maybe.”</p><p><br/>Leonard grinned and deposited a kiss on her cheek as he took the card from her hand and walked into the front room for a symbolance of privacy. The paper was a heavy stock used for formal invitations and greeting cards. The print on the front was clearly from a computer program and not a hand. When he opened the card, the print inside, though not as fancy as his name had been, was also not done by a hand.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <em>I was going to write you a poem, but the words simply wouldn't come, so I decided to speak plainly and from the heart. You are the best person I know. You deserve every happiness in this world; you deserve your heart's desires. Unfortunately, you don't understand how special you are, or how much you mean to me and those around you. You settle, and you shouldn't. So, over the next twenty-five days, I'm going to try and tell you how special you are through gifts.</em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <em>Love,</em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <em>Your Secret Santa</em>
</p><p><br/>“Mamma! Is this from cousin Angel? I don't care that we're third cousins...”</p><p><br/>“I'm not telling you who it's from! And she's getting married in the spring so if it is her, she's just trying to tell you to stop settling!”</p><p><br/>“I knew you read it!”</p><p><br/>*~*~*~*~*</p><p><br/>The next morning, on December first, Leonard got up bleary eyed and headed directly for the coffee. When he turned around to face the table, sitting in the middle was a festively decorated gift bag with another note propped up on it. He glanced towards Jim's room, but the door was still closed tight. </p><p><br/>Carefully, as if it might explode, he picked up the bag and glanced inside. With a sudden grin, he pulled out a jar of strawberry preserves. He picked up the note to see what it said.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <em>Today the gift had to be red and it was the easiest thing of all. I got for you your favorite breakfast treat, whether on toast or your mamma's biscuits, but you rarely buy them for yourself. Why not? You rarely eat preserves as it is. When you do, make sure it's your favorite. You don't have to settle for whatever you picked up in a store.</em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <em>Love,</em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <em>Your Secret Santa</em>
</p><p><br/>He picked up the preserves, the kind he has to order from Europe since they don't sell them in Georgia, and cracked open the lid. He inhaled the sweet scent of ripe strawberries before dipping his finger in and pulling up a glob of red to stick directly in his mouth. His eyes closed of their own volition and he moaned around his finger in his mouth.</p><p>“Damn, Len, that sounded pornographic. You two want to be alone?”</p><p><br/>Leonard snapped open his eyes to find Jim had left his room, fully dressed and carrying his school bag.</p><p><br/>“What do you know about this,” he pointed accusingly at the package still sitting on the table instead of addressing the embarrassing thing Jim had said.</p><p><br/>“Well, if you had read the family newsletter...”</p><p><br/>“You read the family newsletter?”</p><p><br/>“Um, yeah, of course,” Jim replied, looking scandalized. “You don't?”</p><p><br/>“No!”</p><p><br/>“Well, you should, because if you had, you'd know I am your mother's helper with secret Santa this year and I delivered that this morning.”</p><p><br/>“Oh.”</p><p><br/>“Yeah, and I've got one to deliver to Marty on my way to class, so I gotta leave early. He's getting one a week until Christmas and he's on my way, so I'm it!” </p><p>Jim headed to the door, but turned back around as he was about to leave. </p><p>“Yours is going all out, one every day. They must really care about you. And they're right. You rarely eat that stuff, always bitching about sugar content, so when you do, you should order the stuff you like. I mean, it's actually easier to put in an order and have it delivered by transporter.”</p><p><br/>“So everyone's reading my notes,” Len complained to the closed door.</p><p><br/>Breakfast that morning was bacon, eggs, and toast with the best strawberry preserves on the planet. Leonard walked out on his way to work with a wide smile on his face that morning.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Day 2 - Shiny</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Day two's gift is Shiny and Len gets something super duper shiny!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I don't know, Jocelyn,” Leonard sighed into his comm as he shouldered his way into his apartment. </p>
<p>“I'm just getting in, then I need a shower... honestly, hon, I think I need a good night's sleep. I've only just released the patient I had checked into Atlanta Gen... you know I can't tell you that. Listen, let's just meet up for lunch tom... hello?”</p>
<p>“Hung up on you again?” Jim asked from where he had spread himself and his books across the sofa and coffee table.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I was supposed to have dinner with her and her parents. She's mad I missed it.”</p>
<p>“She knows you're a doctor, right?”</p>
<p>Leonard scowled at Jim. Jim rolled his eyes and went back to his work.</p>
<p>“There's spaghetti in the fridge,” Jim said as he pointed in the general direction with a stylus.</p>
<p>“Oooh, did mom make it?”</p>
<p>“No, I did,” Jim huffed, looking back up.</p>
<p>“Sorry, I wasn't trying to offend you.”</p>
<p>Jim just shook his head and went back to his work as Leonard helped himself to dinner. After a few mouthfuls, he looked back up at Jim who was absorbed in his work. He wasn't sure if he should interrupt him again, but decided this was something he should tell Jim.</p>
<p>“Jim?” </p>
<p>“Yeah?”</p>
<p>“This is really good. Thanks for making dinner.”</p>
<p>“You're welcome.”</p>
<p>Jim smiled to himself as he went back to work on his homework, completely missing the soft smile Leonard shot his way before tucking back in to his dinner. They were both quiet, absorbed in their own activities, until Jim finally finished his essay. He then stretched with a loud moan and a crack of his back, causing Leonard to look up from the dishes he had been placing in the sanatizer.</p>
<p>“All done?”</p>
<p>“I hope so,” Jim replied, stiffing a yawn.</p>
<p>“Sounds like you've been sitting there too long,” Leonard fussed, making his way over to the other man. “You have to get up every hour or so, get the blood circulating.”</p>
<p>“Sure, because you follow that advice religiously.”</p>
<p>Leonard rolled his eyes as he reached for Jim and began digging his fingers into his back, working a spot in his lumbar region he knew was a chronic problem for him when he sat hunched over school work for too long.</p>
<p>“Oh, oh wow,” Jim sighed, closing his eyes and relaxing. “That feels amazing.”</p>
<p>Leonard just grunted and continued to work out the knot before moving up the column of his back and to his shoulders. Jim stood, lightly swaying on his feet, getting lost in the feeling of broad, sure hands working over him. Just as his mind was starting to go to inappropriate places, Leonard stopped with a squeeze to his shoulders.</p>
<p>“There,” he announced. “Better?”</p>
<p>“Much,” Jim smiled, pulling himself out of his burgeoning fantasies, grateful and disappointed in equal measure that his roommate had stopped.</p>
<p>“Thanks, Len.”</p>
<p>“No problem, kid.”</p>
<p>“Oh! I have your second Secret Santa gift!” Jim exclaimed as if he hadn't been thinking about it all evening, trying to hold off on pouncing on the other man and giving it to him before he had had time to settle in after work. He dashed off to his room and returned with a small package.</p>
<p>Leonard, one eyebrow raised, pulled the package open and flipped open the card, reading silently to himself before picking up a small, rectangular box with a Starfleet logo etched into the lid. He opened it and gasped, pulling out the latest technology in medical hand scanners.</p>
<p>“How did they get a hold of this?” he asked Jim, his mind already whirling.</p>
<p>“I don't know,” Jim shrugged, reminding himself to send his mother a thank you for managing to get. one from Starfleet. “Think it's a clue as to who it's from?”</p>
<p>“If it is, I don't know how to read it,” he said, already walking towards his room while inspecting the scanner before turning back to Jim. “Thanks for the delivery, Jim.”</p>
<p>“No problem,” he grinned. “Thanks for the back rub.”</p>
<p>He watched Leonard cast him a distracted smile as he disappeared into his room. He chuckled to himself, knowing he wouldn't see the other man the rest of the night. He'd be absorbed in his new toy all evening. Jim was patting himself on the back for the brilliant gift.</p>
<p>*~*~*~*~*</p>
<p>Leonard sat on his bed and flipped the note open again, reading it as if he thought it would give him the answers he was looking for.</p>
<p>
  <em>For day two, I needed something Shiny, and what's shiner than Starfleet's best and brightest medical </em>
  <em>technology? I know it takes awhile for some of their newer tech to make it to the civilian world, but you </em>
  <em>need it just as much as any starship's CMO, so put it to good use. I know you will. You have a good </em>
  <em>heart and are always putting others ahead of yourself.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Love,</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em><br/>Your Secret Santa</em>
</p>
<p><em><br/></em>He just couldn't figure out how anyone in his family could have gotten a hold of one of these so soon. Sure, it wasn't illegal to get one, but availability for new tech was always low and the private sector wasn't considered high priority, especially on Earth where everything was close enough to state of the art to not really warrant something as frivolous as a new scanner. The model he currently owned honestly did more than he really used it for. It wasn't likely he was going to find an alien parasite wiggling around in one of his patients.</p>
<p>Though it would be really cool if he did.</p>
<p>He shook that thought from his head and glared at his closed door. Jim knew who it was, and so did his<br/>mother, but who did he know that could get a hold of Starfleet technology? That list was very, very short and he was starting to form his own suspicions. </p>
<p>*~*~*~*~*</p>
<p>The next morning, McCoy did what all McCoys did when they wanted straight answers – he pounced before his target was fully awake or caffeinated.</p>
<p>“Good morning, Jim,” he greeted far more cheerfully than he was feeling, seeing as he was also not fully awake or caffeinated either. “Hey, by the by, who is my secret Santa? I can't really think of anyone in the family who could have gotten that scanner. Well, aside from you, your mother, or Sam, and I know Sam isn't participating this year and I don't believe Aunt Winona has ever participated<em>."</em></p>
<p>Jim stared bleary eyed and tousled headed from over the mug of coffee that hadn't reached his mouth before he was hit the barrage of questions. But,being privy to the ways of McCoys, didn't answer right away. He simply continued to stare the so called predator down while taking several deliberate sips of his coffee. They stood, eyes locked for several long moments.</p>
<p>“You know I can't tell you,” he finally said once he felt like he was fully online. “But I am this year's helper so I may have helped a little.”</p>
<p>“That's an awful lot of help,” Leonard smirked. “Bit unusual, don't you think?”</p>
<p>“How would I know? It's my first year. Maybe I'm an overachiever.”</p>
<p>“But you do know who it is.”</p>
<p>“Duh.”</p>
<p>“And you're not going to tell me.”</p>
<p>“No duh.”</p>
<p>“Fine,” Leonard huffed, and stormed back to his room, though Jim noted he was still smirking, so not mad, just under the correct impression he had been one upped by the young man.</p>
<p>Once the door was closed, Jim made a bee-line to his PADD, opening his list. He quietly groaned as he looked over some of the future presents he had listed. Why didn't he think about the fact that some of these would require a Starfleet connection and that he was pretty much the only viable suspect in that case? Oh well, everything was in motion, he couldn't go back. Besides, it wasn't that many presents. He would just have to keep up the act of being the super helpful procurer of secret Santa gifts for those needing Starfleet technology or something WAY off world. After all, Kirks can be just as helpful as McCoys.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Day 3 - Soft</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The gift is definately softer than his relationship right now.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I have posted to my tumblr a mock up of their apartment. There is an upcoming chapter in which I will reference that post again, but here it is now for those who are curious and to give you an idea of just how quickly Leonard sees his gifts when Jim leaves then on the table.  I just pinned it to my blog alysonscarborough.Tumblr.com</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After their confrontation over coffee, Jim headed off to classes while Leonard headed to the practice he shared with his father.</p><p>Jim spent the day absorbed in his problem of how to deflect the other man's suspicions. The simplest thing to do was to call his mom and let her know that they needed to do damage control. Maybe she would lie on his behalf. Who was he kidding, she'd probably help him hide a body, he just needed to come up with the lie before he asked.</p><p>In the end, it was simple and it didn't deviate at all from what he had originally told Leonard: they were helping out his Secret Santa. It wasn't even actually a lie. His mom was helping him with some of the gifts and he was the Secret Santa; that was just one minor detail he had to leave out.</p><p>*~*~*~*~*</p><p>“So, mom, you in?”</p><p>It was after Jim's last class of the day and he had rushed home and locked himself in his room. He was sitting on his bed with his comm out, speaking quietly even though Leonard wasn't due back home for hours. He had called his mother, expecting to have to leave a message, but was pleasantly surprised to find she had just arrived back to her quarters after shift and was within range of direct communication of Earth. As a matter of fact, she had just been looking for her son's schedule to see when he might be available for a call.</p><p><em>“Of course, sweetheart,”</em> she smiled. <em>“I have no trouble stretching the truth a bit for you. So, I've </em><em>been meaning to ask, how long have you had this crush?”</em></p><p>“Mom!” Jim exclaimed, nearly falling off the bed. “It is NOT a crush!”</p><p>
  <em>“Oh, so is it love?”</em>
</p><p>Jim had nothing to say to that. He just bit his lips together while he willed his face to stop heating up. It clearly wasn't working.</p><p>
  <em>“Oh, Jim. Are you sure? How long have you felt this way?”</em>
</p><p>“Since he came back from school,” he confessed. picking at a thread on his bed spread. “So, four years?”</p><p>
  <em>“That is a long time,” she conceded, “but I worry. You were only seventeen when he came back, weren't you?”</em>
</p><p>“Yeah, and I did think it was a crush. I figured it would go away on it's own. Hell, I've even had a serious girlfriend in that time. But mom, it hasn't gone away. The feelings I have for him have just gotten more intense and I just can't ignore them anymore. They're not going away.”</p><p>“<em>Oh, Jimmy, I wish I were there with you right now.”</em></p><p>“Don't be ridiculous, mom,” he suddenly grinned. “I would have never told you any of this if you were here to cry all over me and pet my hair while calling me <em>Jimmy</em>.” Winona rolled her eyes and shook her head. Jim suddenly turned serious again. “Do you think it's weird? Being in love with my foster brother? Do you think he's going to be disgusted by it? What about the McCoys?”</p><p>
  <em>“Don't you worry about any of that. I don't think it's strange and the McCoys are the kindest most understanding people I know. They would never find your feelings disgusting. Knowing Eleanora, she'd probably start planning a wedding.”</em>
</p><p>“Yeah, I guess that's true,” Jim laughed. “Thanks, mom.”</p><p>*~*~*~*~*</p><p>It's even later than Jim thought it should be by the time Leonard manages to make it home. With Jocelyn in tow. Jim curses to himself, but he knew she would eventually talk him into letting her stay the night. It's such a weird dynamic. Leonard insists that he loves her, that when the time is right he'll propose and they'll get married and have children. He just keeps claiming she's pushing too fast and he's worried he'll cave so he's keeping her at arm's length until the time is right. </p><p>Jim doesn't get it. The way he feels, if he and Leonard started dating that day and then the next the other man wanted to get married, he'd be so onboard with that idea.</p><p>Maybe that doesn't make Leonard not in love with Jocelyn. Maybe that makes Jim more like Jocelyn than he'd like to admit. He scowls at that thought.</p><p>“I promise we'll keep it down,” Jocelyn practically purrs at him while hanging off of Leonard, “you don't have to scowl at me.”</p><p>“Oh, no, it's not you,” Jim shakes the thoughts out of his head, doing his best to sound more sincere than he feels. “I'm sure you'll be the perfect house guest. It's just, it's almost midnight on day three of the Secret Santa exchange. I expected Leonard to be home sooner to get his third gift.”</p><p>“Jim's helping mom deliver them this year,” Leonard explains to his girlfriend, then untangles himself and eagerly reaches for the bag Jim is handing him. It's larger than the last two. “Sorry, Jim, we got hung up at dinner.”</p><p>“You mean the waiter was slower than molasses. You should have dressed him down.”</p><p>“He was just a little slow and the poor man's girlfriend just dumped him. No need to be nasty.”</p><p>Leonard pulled out the note first, as usual and read it, his brow knitting in confusion. Until he pulled out his gift, then his entire face lit up in a grin. Jim remembered easily what he had written for the third note and why it would be confusing at first.</p><p>
  <em>Today our word is Soft, so the gift is simply this: you deserve soft things in your life that bring you comfort.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Love,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Your Secret Santa</em>
</p><p>He opened up the large, green blanket in the softest material Jim had ever felt. Leonard was also clearly impressed by the softness, if you could go by the way he closed his eyes and rubbed it against his face.</p><p>“OK, this is already my favorite gift,” he sighed. “I love this. I'm gonna wrap up in it every night while I sit on the sofa and decompress after work.”</p><p>Jim's heart was soaring at how happy the other man looked, but Jocelyn just scowled at the hunter green blanket in Leonard's hands like it had personally offended her.</p><p>“Well, when we move in together, it'll have to go in a closet when you're not using it. We'll be decorating in soft blues and pinks. It won't go.”</p><p>“I'll be using it any time I'm sitting on the sofa, so it will go on the back of the sofa where ever I live,” Leonard snapped back. “So you're right, it won't go.”</p><p>Jim slapped his hand over his mouth in awe. He had never heard Leonard snap at Jocelyn and it seemed to have come out of nowhere.</p><p>“Leonard Horatio!” Jocelyn said in shock. “How dare you speak to me in that manner? What would your mother think?”</p><p>“She'd wonder why it took me until almost midnight when you've been rude and insufferable since I picked you up at six,” he groused. “I don't know what crawled up your ass tonight Joc, but I've had enough.”</p><p>“Fine, I'll just take a transport home.”</p><p>They stood, staring at each other, while Leonard wrapped his blanket around his shoulders and Jim looked back and forth between the two of them. It was clear that they had forgotten he was there. It was also clear that Jocelyn was expecting Leonard to backtrack after her threat of leaving. Finally, it was Leonard who broke the stalemate.</p><p>“Well? You know where the door is.”</p><p>“I never!”</p><p>“Then it's about damn time!”</p><p>With that, she turned on her heel and stormed out. Jim thought it was impossible to slam their door, but it seemed to snick shut with an injured air.</p><p>“What the hell was that?” he finally got out, causing Leonard to notice he was still there.</p><p>“Damn it, Jim, I'm sorry you had to see that,” he sighed as he flung himself onto their sofa, blanket stillwrapped around him.</p><p>“No, no,” Jim reassured him, sitting down next to him. “I wouldn't have missed that for the world.”</p><p>“You know we'll make up, right?” Leonard asked sardonically, smirk firmly in place while he eyed Jim <br/>
from the corner of his eyes.</p><p>“Do you have to?” Jim whined.</p><p>Leonard just huffed in fond amusement and freed the side of his blanket, wrapping it around the other <br/>
man before flicking on a vid for them to watch. Jim snuggled in as close as he dared with a happy hum<br/>
and snatched to remote to turn to a series he had been watching.</p><p>“Wow, this really is soft,” he said like he hadn't felt it before.</p><p>“I know, right? New favorite blanket. So don't you go stealing it.”</p><p>“Promise,” Jim swore, thinking of the identical blue one he recently put on his bed.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Day 4 - Jolly</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Leonard's Secret Santa has struck again! And is that a crack in his relationship with Jocelyn?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I don't want to spoil anything but in a few more chapters, day 7 I think, I'm giving you all more insight into what's going on in Leonard's head.  Posting these early chapters is strange to me because I'm so much further into the story lol.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>True to his word, Leonard and Jocelyn were on the comm apologizing to each other by the next morning, putting Jim off his breakfast. At least Jocelyn was doing most of the apologizing, Leonard only admitting he probably shouldn't have kicked her out in the street like he did. Jim huffed a laugh. The well lit, safe as anything, transport hub less than a block away street in front of their apartment. What a joke. The way Jocelyn acted sometimes made Jim think of his history classes and the way women were treated like helpless creatures instead of equals. Her ancestors who fought for equality were probably rolling in their graves.</p>
<p>Leonard finally got off the comm and tucked into his breakfast with a renewed vigor. He was always like that after they fought and made up. Made Jim wonder if that was why he kept going back for more, some kind of weird fetish. If that was the case he wished the other man would just wear Jocelyn's underwear like a normal man.</p>
<p>“You gonna eat that?” Leonard finally asked, pointing at Jim's abandoned breakfast.</p>
<p>“Have at it,” he said, pushing the plate towards him.</p>
<p>They sat quietly for awhile, Leonard still stuffing his face like he hadn't eaten in two days and Jim staring off into space, until Jim started to hear a strange buzzing sound. He looked around for a moment, trying to place where it was coming from, before looking under the table. Aimed right at him, in Leonard's left hand, was the hand scanner he had given him for day number two.</p>
<p>“Damn it, Len,” he exclaimed, leaping out of his chair. “What the hell?”</p>
<p>With a casual air, like he hadn't just been giving Jim an unwanted medical exam, Leonard pulled the scanner up to eye level and looked it over. He gave a contemplative hum and rose from his seat, stalking towards Jim who was backing away from him.</p>
<p>“Guess I wasn't close enough to get a good reading,” he mused. “Hold still, I want to get a reading of your vitals, at least.”</p>
<p>“What? Why?”</p>
<p>“Originally because you didn't eat but maybe one bite of your breakfast and you always have a good appetite. Now? Because you're acting so squirrelly. Why don't you want me checking you out? I just want to make sure you're not sick.”</p>
<p>“Why didn't you ask me, then?”</p>
<p>“Because you always try to get out of exams. Come on, hold still.”</p>
<p>“Fine, but I do this just to ease your mind.”</p>
<p>“That's all I ask.”</p>
<p>Leonard aimed his scanner at Jim again, slowly waving it over his body while following the readout with his eyes.</p>
<p>“Well, you're not sick,” he announced with a nod. “What's got you off your feed?”</p>
<p>“You, putting up with Jocelyn,” Jim bit out as he gathered his stuff for the day. He was a lot madder about the situation than he originally thought he was. “And the moment I think you've finally grown a spine and have broken up with that harpy, you go and get back with her so she can continue to leech all the energy out of you. I was going to wait until this evening to give this to you since you got yesterday's so late but then I thought something jolly might cheer you up. Shows what I know; you're perfectly cheerful.”</p>
<p>With that parting shot, Jim threw a bag into Leonard's chest and left for school. Confused, he opened the bag to find another note and a small data file.</p>
<p>
  <em>It's the winter holiday season but you often don't seem to be in the spirit. Let's correct that with some </em>
  <em>truly Jolly music, some seasonal, some not, but all sure to put a smile on your handsome face.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Love,</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Your Secret Santa</em>
</p>
<p>“Definitely reading my notes,” he griped, even as he loaded the music onto his comm, ready to listen to on his way to work.</p>
<p>*~*~*~*~*</p>
<p>“Well, you're a lot more chipper than usual this morning,” David said in way of greeting when Leonard arrived at their practice, humming a tune. He shut the music off and placed the listening devices back into his comm, grinning at his father.</p>
<p>“Yeah, my Secret Santa has struck again. This time it was upbeat music. Guess even I couldn't stop from being in a good mood. There are some songs on here that were my favorites back when they came out but I forgot all about.”</p>
<p>“Sounds like your Secret Santa really knows you,” David surmised.</p>
<p>“Which makes it all the more weird. I feel like I should know who it is based on just these first four gifts. They're so spot on. Yesterday I got a blanket that was the perfect shade of green, the perfect size for relaxing with, and so soft. It's like the person knows exactly what I want, but that's not possible.”</p>
<p>“Why not?”</p>
<p>“Nobody knows me that well.”</p>
<p>“Not even Jocelyn?”</p>
<p>“Ha! Especially not Jocelyn!” Leonard laughed before he even realized what he was saying. Once he caught himself, he looked gobsmacked. </p>
<p>“Well, now, son, that just makes me sad,” David said, turning back to opening procedures. “I really hoped that you'd have the kind of relationship with someone someday like I have with your mother.”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Leonard agreed quietly. “Me too.”</p>
<p>*~*~*~*~*</p>
<p>Jim managed not to think of his one sided argument with Leonard all day, putting all of his energy into his classes. Unfortunately, once said classes were over, he couldn't think of anything but. In a funk, he slunk back to the McCoy's, just to find that the house was empty. Feeling homesick, he headed upstairs and to his old room. With the exception of what he had taken to his and Leonard's new apartment, it was just the same.</p>
<p>Feeling tired, sad, and in need of comfort, Jim curled up on his old bed and fell asleep.</p>
<p>*~*~*~*~*</p>
<p>“Goodness! You about scared the daylights out of me,” Eleanora exclaimed three hours later when a sleepy Jim walked back down the stairs and into the living room. “I had no idea you were here.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, sorry mom,” he yawned and tried to straighten out what felt like spectacular bedhead. “I laid down for just a moment and now it's dinner time.”</p>
<p>“And as it happens my husband and your roommate are both going to have dinner out due to patients. Maybe we should have dinner together. What do you think?”</p>
<p>“I think that's a great idea.”</p>
<p>*~*~*~*~*</p>
<p>“You know, you're the only one in the family that likes green peppers on their pizza besides me,” Jim said after swallowing a mouthful of the supreme pizza they had had delivered to the house. “This was a great idea.”</p>
<p>“Oh, I know,” Eleanora smiled. “And David and Leonard both would have insisted on thin crust. I don't know who they are sometimes.”</p>
<p>“Right? They have terrible taste in pizza.”</p>
<p>They both giggled over their shared love of supreme deep dish cheesy goodness and continued to eat in companionable silence until they were both full and Eleanora was packing up the leftovers she insisted Jim take home with him.</p>
<p>“So,” she started once Jim was relaxed and his guard was down. “What has you stressed out enough to need to come take a nap in your childhood room?”</p>
<p>“Childhood... I've only just moved out,” he protested.</p>
<p>“I know, but you spent your childhood in that room.”</p>
<p>“But do you really call it that when it's still your room?”</p>
<p>“You're avoiding the question.”</p>
<p>“I know,” Jim sighed, messing his hair up again. “Len and Jocelyn got into a pretty bad fight last night, bad enough she went from planning to spend the night to Leonard suggesting she leave. They were so mad at each other I thought for sure that was the end of it, but this morning he's on the comm with her and they're making up.”</p>
<p>“That's not really unusual.”</p>
<p>“No, it's not, and that's not the problem. It was my reaction to it. I freaked out, threw his secret Santa gift at him, and left. I mean, I've let him know I don't like her, but I've never reacted that strongly about it before. I never let him in on just how much I can't stand her. It seemed like I was...”</p>
<p>He floundered for a moment for the right word, cheeks turning pink with thoughts of how he could finish that sentence, not knowing what he should say, how much he should reveal to his foster mother.</p>
<p>“Jealous?” she finished for him kindly, one hand squeezing his upper arm in a comforting gesture. Jim just turned redder. “Oh, sweetheart, I've known for a few years that your feelings for him weren't platonic or brotherly. I was just hoping once you were old enough to realize they were real and not just some childish crush that you'd have the gumption to shake some sense into him or he'd have noticed himself. I know you're jealous and hurt but Leonard can only take so much of that woman's entitlement and she's been digging herself a nice deep hole lately.”</p>
<p>“You don't think he'll be mad at me for getting mad at him for patching things up with her?” he asked in a small voice. “I'm just worried he's going to stop talking to me, except to tell me to pack my stuff back up and leave.”</p>
<p>“Oh, he's heard it from all of us. The worst he'll do is tell you to mind your own business.”</p>
<p>“Well, that's silly,” Jim sniffled as she hugged him tight. “He never minds his own business.”</p>
<p>“Of course he doesn't. He's a McCoy. He's genetically incapable of minding his own business.”</p>
<p>Jim laughed a little and finally truly relaxed. At least he had Eleanora in his corner. He just hoped when the whole thing came out, the rest of the family, Leonard especially, would react so positively.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Day 5 - Wooden</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>For the fifth day, Leonard is given something Wooden.  The something he gets makes him a bit suspicious, though.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jim didn't see Leonard again until the next morning, but when he did Eleanora was right, he wasn't mad at him.  As a matter of fact, he was acting as if it had never happened.  Deciding not to look that gift horse in the mouth, Jim set about making his own breakfast while the older man finished eating his.</p><p>“Late night?” he finally dared to ask.</p><p>“Mmhmm,” he mumbled around a mouthful of food before swallowing.  “I would have just left them to the nursing team, but dad insisted we stay.  It was a good call.  The issue was resolved by midnight and we could leave orders to have them discharged this morning without either of us having to go back today.”</p><p>“So, no rushing off to the hospital this morning?”</p><p>“Nope, can have a leisurely breakfast.”</p><p>“Leisurely?  You're eating like this is the last food you're ever going to see.”</p><p>Leonard just shrugged and shoveled more food into his mouth.</p><p>“OK, then, I'm off,  I have some Secret Santa delivers and then need to stop by and see ma.  What are you up to?”</p><p>“Having a picnic lunch with Jocelyn,” he smiled.</p><p>“Oh.  Sounds lovely.”</p><p>“It's OK,” Leonard smirked.  “I know you don't like her.  She has managed to rub the entire family the wrong way, but listen... Jocelyn's a really sweet woman.  You guys have really only ever been around her when she's already a little stressed or annoyed, like last night.  I'm going to fix that, though.  I'm going to officially introduce her to the family at Christmas and you'll be able to get to know the real Jocelyn.”</p><p>“Len...” Jim started, intending to say a million things about that idea, intending to tell him that he was pretty sure he'd seen the real Jocelyn and if not, then she spent an awful lot of time annoyed at people, especially Leonard.  He intended a lot of things but Leonard looked so hopeful, he just couldn't argue with him about it.  “That sounds great.  I look forward to it.”</p><p>“Great!  So, isn't there supposed to be another gift from my secret Santa today?”</p><p>“That's one of the reasons I'm off to see ma,” Jim shrugged.  “I don't have it, yet.  You gonna be home this evening?”</p><p>“Yeah, we'll probably both be here.”</p><p>“OK, great!”</p><p>*~*~*~*~*</p><p>“Ma, please tell me you're here,” Jim called as he entered the house.</p><p>“Of course I am,” she said as she walked out of the living room to greet him in the foyer.  “We're supposed to meet up on secret Santa business this morning, right?”</p><p>“Yes, ma'am, just already having a stressful day.”</p><p>“Sweetheart, what's wrong?”</p><p>“Did you know that Leonard plans to bring Jocelyn over for Christmas?”</p><p>“What?” Eleanora said in surprise.  “He hasn't mentioned that to me.”</p><p>“Yeah, it seems that we haven't gotten to know the real Jocelyn and he wants to correct that.”</p><p>“I've met her plenty of times and every time she's getting on to Leonard for something, whether he can help it or not,” Eleanora shook her head in dismay.  “I mean I'll give her a chance, but I feel like we've seen her in plenty of real, everyday scenarios.  Her being at a party where she's on her best behavior will hardly give us a picture of the real Jocelyn.”</p><p>“I agree, I'm pretty sure I have a pretty good picture of the real Jocelyn, myself.”</p><p>“Well, never mind that for now,” Eleanora declared, leading Jim into the dining room where three packages were lined up on the table.  “We have more important things to attend to.  Number one, I have Marty's second gift for you to deliver as well as one for Uncle Abner.  I was going to run that into town but I'm going in the opposite direction.  Number two, your package arrived first thing this morning, special delivery parcel.”</p><p>“Yes!” Jim grinned, picking up a rather large, and heavy, box with his mother's name and a Starfleet logo as part of the return address.  “I was hoping this was here today.  I didn't want to have to change my schedule.  I'm supposed to give Leonard this tonight.  Too bad Jocelyn will be there.”</p><p>“On that note, I have one more thing for you,” Eleanora said, handing him an envelope.  “I was supposed to give this to you yesterday, but I just plain forgot.  It's your first secret Santa gift.”</p><p>“What?  Really?”</p><p>“Forgot that someone got your name, too, didn't you?”</p><p>“I did,” he laughed, tearing open the envelope.  “I've been so preoccupied with gifts for Len that I forgot I would be getting something, too.”</p><p>“Well, what is it?”</p><p>“A certificate for a spa day,” he said, perplexed.</p><p>“Sounds like your Santa knows how stressful of a job this is.  I bet you could use that sooner rather than later.”</p><p>“Yeah, I think I could.”</p><p>*~*~*~*~*</p><p>Jim ended up being out most of the day delivering his packages and stopping at the spa to schedule a day to use his certificate.  By the time he made it back to the apartment he shared with Leonard, he barely had time to wrap gift number five, dispose of the incriminating packaging and set it out on the table along with the card he had prepared before a giggling Leonard and Jocelyn were walking in through the door.</p><p>“Hey, Jim,” Leonard greeted him.</p><p>“Hey, you guys have a good time?”</p><p>“It was wonderful,” Jocelyn smiled.  “An absolutely beautiful day for a picnic.”</p><p>“Good to hear,” Jim said through a forced smile.  She was being nice, but that had been known to change in a heartbeat.</p><p>“Oh, hey, is that mine?”</p><p>“Yes it is,” Jim waved to the package in the middle of the table even as Leonard was picking up the note.  “You're getting spoiled, aren't you?”</p><p>“I have to admit this is really exciting.  I usually just get a book or some cologne at the Christmas party, which is great, but this has been... yeah, I guess I'm getting spoiled.”</p><p>“What is it today, honey?” Jocelyn asked, trying to look at the note he was holding.</p><p>“It says today's gift is 'Wooden.'  The note says, 'You have an insatiable curiosity.  Feed it well and often.  Start with these little guys that I hope will ignite your desire to learn and be your constant companion.  Love, Your Secret Santa.”</p><p>“Love is a little strong, isn't it?” Jocelyn frowned lightly as Len eagerly tore into the package.</p><p>“It is family,” he replied absent mindedly.  “Oh wow.  I mean WOW.”</p><p>Inside the package, arranged in a grid, was wooden figures, intricately carved.  Leonard gently picked one up, carefully moving a skeletal leg with his index finger.</p><p>“This one's Andorian,” he said in awe.  “Didn't your mom bring you something like this, years ago?” Leonard asked Jim, his voice holding a note of suspicion.</p><p>“Um, yeah,” he admitted, suddenly feeling nervous.  He didn't think he'd remember that.  “They were a new member planet, really into the medical arts, even their artists and writers created works reflecting anatomy.  Artisans make these fully articulate skeletons of their own species and when they headed out into space and met other doctors, started making them of every species they could get a diagram for.”</p><p>“They're hideous,” Jocelyn shivered dramatically.</p><p>“They're cool,” Leonard grinned, picking another one up out of its grid in the box after he had replaced the one identified as Andorian.</p><p>“Well, they can stay at your office.”</p><p>“Where?” he scowled up at her.  “I don't have that much room, and these are pretty big.  Plus, there's a dozen species here!  Wow.  Look how this arm moves.  It's so detailed.”</p><p>Jocelyn just frowned while Jim grinned.  She at least had to sense to leave him alone; it was unlikely he'd hear a word she said while he was preoccupied with his new toys, anyhow.  Jim decided it was best to quietly excuse himself.  He let himself giggle once he was safe behind the closed door of his room.</p><p>“Oh, yeah, she's really going to fit in at the Christmas party,” he couldn't help snarking to no one at all.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Day 6 - Tasty</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>For day six, Leonard gets something Tasty.  And what's up with Jocelyn?  Could she be... jealous?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Jim got up the next morning he could hear Jocelyn giggling as she and Len headed to the shower. He dropped the sixth day's present on the table, propping the note up with it, and decided he'd have breakfast out. This holiday tradition was killing his weekends.</p><p>His favorite diner was only a block from campus so he headed there before hitting the spa for his appointment. His Santa was amazing, whoever they were. He so needed a facial and a deep tissue massage. It took a lot of work to stay gorgeous.</p><p>“Jim!” he was greeted the moment he walked in. He turned to look over at a back corner table to find a couple of his study buddies already eating. He walked over with an easy smile and slid in next to them.</p><p>“Kevin, Ruth, what brings you two out this early?” he asked before placing his order.</p><p>“Term project,” Kevin moaned. “We were paired for it and it's kicking our asses.”</p><p>“You mean it's kicking your ass,” Ruth said, pointing an accusing fork at Kevin. “My portion is done. I'm now stuck helping you with yours.”</p><p>Jim elbowed Kevin playfully.</p><p>“Aw, poor Kevin, is she being mean and making you work?” he teased.</p><p>“Yes! You would think she'd have a heart and do it for me.”</p><p>“You two are hysterical,” Ruth deadpanned, then took an interest in her coffee, ignoring the two across from her.</p><p>Jim just laughed as he accepted his food from the server and happily tucked into it, observing Ruth as unobtrusively as possible.</p><p>She had actually been his longest relationship. They had dated for eighteen months and he had thought he was in love. He had even been wondering if it was too soon to propose, but she dropped a bombshell on him: she had decided that she would be going to law school and would be far too busy with her schooling and career to be involved in a relationship. They had broken up and he had been broken hearted.</p><p>Of course, the heart break didn't last long because the entire time he had been doing his best to ignore his 'stupid school boy crush' on Leonard. Afterwards his buried feelings for the other man came roaring back to the forefront and he felt like a jerk, wondering if he had really been in love with Ruth or if he had been using her to try and forget his feelings for his foster brother. He was glad she had decided that her career was more important and dumped him, and even happier that they had managed to stay friends. Ruth was an amazing person.</p><p>Kevin, however, was a brat.</p><p>“Nuh, uh,” Jim slapped his hand away from his plate. “My sausage.”</p><p>Kevin just tilted his head back and roared with laughter.</p><p>*~*~*~*~*</p><p>Leonard was humming by the time he got of the shower. He left Jocelyn in the bathroom to fix her hair and finish getting ready for the day while he put together something for breakfast for the two of them. He spotted his gift in the center of the table and, with a grin, stalked straight to it and plucked the note up to read.</p><p>
  <em>Day number six is Tasty, and while I could make some crude joke about not needing to get you anything for that, because you are, I won't and instead I leave you with this gift. Enjoy. I have stated it before but it bears repeating (mostly because of how stubborn your are) but you deserve a treat and shouldn't be afraid to enjoy yourself.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Love,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Your Secret Santa</em>
</p><p>“So you're not going to make a crude joke but you're going to tell me the crude joke you're not making?” Leonard chuckled. “Sure, that works.”</p><p>“Leonard, dear, are you talking to yourself?” Jocelyn asked as she walked out of the bathroom perfectly put together.</p><p>“Yeah, I guess so. Jim left my secret Santa gift for today.”</p><p>She let out a little sarcastic noise and picked up the note Leonard had discarded in favor of his present. Her forehead creased as she read it.</p><p>“What on earth did you get today? Not that anything could possibly top that gift from yesterday.”</p><p>“Denivian candies,” he said with delight, ignoring her snide remark. “These are my favorite. Not many people know that. Here, want one?”</p><p>“Thank you,” she smiled tightly as she took one. “Jim would know, though, wouldn't he?”</p><p>“Yeah, probably, and he is helping out this year. They could have gone to him for advice.”</p><p>“Or it could be him,” she said disdainfully even with the candy from the latest gift in her mouth. “This note is more than a little flirty and you can't be blind to how he adores you.”</p><p>“Aw, Jocelyn, he's always been like that,” Leonard cajoled, taking her by her arms. “He used to follow me around as a kid, wanting to play with the big kids.”</p><p>“Then you went away for a long time and you both grew up,” she insisted, freeing her arms so she could go slip on her shoes. “Jim doesn't look at you with brotherly love and he wants to be more than your friend.”</p><p>“Oh for the love of.... I'm going to get dressed. Let's just get breakfast on the way to that concert, thing.”</p><p>“It's a play, Shakespeare in the Park,” she corrected with a scowl, mind still on her perceived rival.</p><p>Leonard closed himself in his room with a muttered 'whatever' and let his mind wander over what she said.</p><p>*~*~*~*~*</p><p>“Where have you been?” Leonard asked Jim when he finally got home that night. “Don't you have class in the morning?”</p><p>Jim eyed Leonard, sitting on their sofa, watching some holo vid that looked like it might be a cooking competition, while almost angrily stuffing candies into his mouth.</p><p>“Um, yeah, but I'm home before curfew, dad,” he replied sarcastically. “Since when do you stress eat?”</p><p>“Since Jocelyn developed a jealous streak a mile wide,” he grumbled as he glared down at the half empty box before tossing it onto the coffee table, out of easy reach.</p><p>“Ah,” Jim said with understanding as he sat down next to his roommate. “What happened?”</p><p>“First off, she thinks my secret Santa has a crush on me,” he started, completely missing Jim nearly choking. “Then, while we were out today, she thought everyone who so much as looked at me wanted me. That woman is starting to lose it.”</p><p>“That's weird.”</p><p>“You're telling me. It ruined a perfectly good day and for once I'm not seeing how I could have even been partially responsible. I have never encouraged a flirt. I dare say I'm brusque enough to dissuade people from even trying to flirt with me,” he finally turned to Jim with that last observation. “Where have you been, really? You're all, dewy and fresh faced.”</p><p>“Oh, spa day, thanks to my secret Santa,” he sighed. “I feel boneless and renewed. You should try it.”</p><p>“No thanks. This beauty needs no help and I like my bones right where they are.”</p><p>“Yes, all over our living room,” Jim agreed as he waved at the wooden carvings Leonard had received the day before. They were decorating every available surface. It was a wonder Jocelyn had decided to stay the night before.</p><p>“Oh, haha. Well, I'm off to bed. The adult in the room actually needs his sleep if he's going to make it to work tomorrow.”</p><p>“That's called beauty sleep, and that's why you need it,” Jim returned before turning a beaming smile on the other man. “Good night, Bones!”</p><p>“Bones?”</p><p>“Yeah, my new nickname for you, since you like that gift so much, and you're, you know, a cranky old saw bones.”</p><p>“Oh, wonderful. He's developed a sense of humor.”</p><p>“Hey! I've always had a sense of humor! I'm friends with you, aren't I?”</p><p>Len just rolled his eyes and closed his door behind him. As he got himself ready for bed, he wondered why he didn't mention Jocelyn's accusation that Jim was his secret Santa, or that Jim had a crush on him. He had intended to. He had sat there, in front of the holo, absently eating candies and imagining that way Jim would have laughed at the absurdity of it all. How he would have thrown his head back, how his blue eyes would have sparkled with mirth...</p><p>...and suddenly Leonard hadn't wanted that to be funny. He didn't know what pissed him off more; suddenly liking the idea of Jim having a crush on him even though he didn't feel the same or the way Jocelyn had been fired up about other people finding her man attractive, as if that's a bad thing.</p><p>Damn it, he hated it when his whole damn world seemed to be losing its mind.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I realized I included a character Jim would have had history with if I hadn't changed his timeline. Fans of TOS may know that Kevin Riley was also on Tarsus IV with Jim.   I honestly thought about removing him entirely because, living with the McCoys, Jim never went to Tarsus IV, I don't know exactly when that happened, and what happened to Kevin between then and ending up on the Enterprise.  However, as much as I absolutely love AOS, I've never seen it as a different timeline from TOS, but as a different reality.  There's just too many differences.  Plus, this is fanfic and I've stuck people in Atlanta, GA that shouldn't be there LOL. So, Kevin stays and Tarsus IV didn't happen.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Day 7 - Decorative</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Day seven is Decorative and we have two men who are examining their feelings and finding themselves unsure.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Once the door closed behind Leonard, Jim dropped his casual pose on the sofa and ran as quietly as he could out the front door and down the stairs. Waiting for him around the corner was Kevin and a fir tree almost as tall as him.</p>
<p>“He's in his room,” he said breathlessly. “He won't come out until morning, at this point. So long as we don't make any loud noises. He'll ignore normal noises, will probably just think I'm moving furniture again.”</p>
<p>Jim had grabbed the end of the tree and was helping Kevin maneuver it towards the stairs when the other man stopped and glared at him.</p>
<p>“Wait a minute. We just got done being stared at on a transport for having a tree with us and now you want me to help you haul it up the stairs? Don't you have a freight elevator?”</p>
<p>“Number one, we were not being stared at on the transport. People take home fir trees this time of year all the time. Number two, nope! It's not that big of a building and it faces street on both sides. There's only like, eight apartments. No way they'd throw in a freight elevator for that.”</p>
<p>“We were being stared at. People who bring home fir trees do it with a ground car, not on public transportation. And it's stairs.”</p>
<p>“Waah, you big baby. Start hauling.”</p>
<p>Despite Kevin's fears, they managed to get the tree up the stairs to Jim and Len's apartment with minimal effort and minimal grumbling from Kevin. Quietly as they could, they manhandled it into a corner of the living room, Kevin having to prop it up again while Jim set up the tree stand, staring daggers at the other man the entire time.</p>
<p>“I'm covered in sap,” Kevin whispered angrily.</p>
<p>“Then I guess you better go home and shower,” Jim just as quietly shot back.</p>
<p>“You're being awful ungrateful.”</p>
<p>“For what? Taking the agreed upon payment for finishing the last part of that project you and Ruth were doing? I should have known you would gripe the whole time. The project wasn't even hard. You could have done it in your sleep, you lazy ass.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, well, you got the rest of this?”</p>
<p>“Yeah man, thanks for the hand,” Jim smiled, shaking hands with his friend once they were done with their playful banter.</p>
<p>“I'm never hauling anything up the stairs for you again,” Kevin said as the door closed behind him.</p>
<p>Well, mostly playful banter. Jim shook his head and shot a quick look to Leonard's door. So far he hadn't been concerned about what was going on in the outer room, if he heard it at all. Hoping he was still in the clear, Jim disappeared into his room to find the box of decorations he had hidden in there. It was going to be long night.</p>
<p>*~*~*~*~*</p>
<p>When Leonard got up the next morning, he was greeted with the sight of the usual letter on the table, folded like a tent so it could stand up by itself. First things first, though, he grabbed a mug of coffee before turning his attention back to the latest mystery gift. Once fueled by hot liquid life, he was able to turn his full attention to his secret Santa note.</p>
<p>It was now day seven and completely unusual for him to get a note by itself. He looked around the table and the kitchen counters a bit before deciding there was indeed no package to go along with the piece of paper. With a shrug he opened it up and read.</p>
<p>
  <em>Today is Decorative. I've been told day five's gift was a big hit and have been decorating your home, but what about the holiday season? Where's the decorations for that? You're in your own apartment now, your parents aren't going to do it for you. Never fear, your Secret Santa will lend a hand ;)</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Love,</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Your Secret Santa</em>
</p>
<p>“Now what the heck is that supposed to mean?” he wondered aloud just as Jim padded up next to him on bare feet, yawning as he poured himself some coffee.</p>
<p>“What does it mean? Have you been that focused on the coffee pot? Turn around.”</p>
<p>Leonard did and his jaw dropped. Behind him, in the far corner or the living room, was a tree that stood just under six feet tall covered in garland, ornaments, and topped with a shiny star. A floor lamp had been positioned next to it to bring attention to it, but he had still managed to miss it.</p>
<p>“Wow,” he breathed.</p>
<p>“Yeah, wow,” Jim imitated him sarcastically. “I helped put it up for your secret Santa but the tree is yours. Make sure you check the water daily so it doesn't dry out. OK, I gotta get ready for class. Still not end of term yet.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, see ya later,” Leonard muttered, not really paying attention to the other man, as he wandered over to the tree and inspected the decorations.</p>
<p>Everyone in his immediate family must have been helping his secret Santa, not just Jim and Aunt Winona. Some of the decorations had clearly come from his home; a couple of family heirlooms he knew his mother intended him to have, some that had been given to him specifically over the years, even a few he had made as a child. He grinned when he realized there were a few that were Jim's, too. Made sense, seeing has he lived there. He outright laughed when he found the handmade globe ornament with a picture of him and Sam on the living room sofa, baby Jim in his lap. The scowl on little Leonard's face said exactly what he thought of that.</p>
<p>“Hey, Bones, don't you need to get ready?” Jim said gently as he was leaving his bedroom, completely put together with his backpack over his shoulder.</p>
<p>“Guess I got caught up in looking at all these ornaments on the tree,” he said bashfully. “Thanks, Jim.”</p>
<p>He disappeared into his room to get dressed, hoping that Jim understood he was thanking him for more than just the reminder that he needed to get ready for work. Him helping out his secret Santa had given him a gift that had touched his heart far deeper than he would have ever imagined it would.</p>
<p>As he dressed, Leonard wondered again about the possibility that Jim had romantic feelings for him, this time as more than a passing thought. On the one hand, he hoped he didn't. How awful would it be to want someone who was already taken, who had made it clear that they were already in a relationship with the person they intended to spend the rest of their life with?</p>
<p>Though, the idea of spending the rest of his life with Jocelyn no longer brought him sudden feelings of happiness. Not long ago, when he contemplated their life together, he would feel a shot of love and joy that was so intense... but now he was almost feeling dread. He knew it was because of her off behavior in recent weeks. He would definitely talk to her about it. He needed to understand what had changed. He knew she could be a little difficult, but things were getting ridiculous. If it was simply she had gotten more comfortable with her place in his life and was no longer on her best behavior, he'd have to reevaluate how well he really knew her.</p>
<p>Which brought him to the other hand and probably the most shameful feelings he'd ever had. He hoped the younger man did have feelings for him. The idea of that beautiful young man wanting him, desiring him, of all people, filled him with a longing he did his best to keep buried deep down. It's not like he felt the same way about Jim, but it was more than a little flattering to have those stunning eyes turn to him whenever he walked into a room and fill with happiness, no matter who was there. He could just imagine...</p>
<p>But he wouldn't imagine anything of the sort because Jim absolutely had better taste than to fall for a man ten years older who was supposed to be his foster brother. He needed to get a hold of himself. Even if things didn't work out with Jocelyn (which he was sure they would, they just needed to get past whatever this was), any thing he started with Jim would be out of lust and just a rebound fling. He wouldn't do that to his friend.</p>
<p>*~*~*~*~*</p>
<p>As Leonard's door snicked shut behind him, Jim shook his head and looked over the tree again before heading out the door. He was so tired. He stayed up entirely too late putting that tree up. He headed towards his usual coffee place – it sounded like a double shot of espresso kind of day.</p>
<p>He knew those ornaments Eleanora had boxed up for them would suck Leonard into a world of happy memories. Many of them hadn't been hung on the family tree in a few years because they just ran out of room, what with new ornaments every year gracing the tree. To help keep each year's tree from becoming too crowded, several years back she had begun to make boxes of ornaments for her three boys, picking which ones she thought they'd like of the family ornaments as well as tucking away their older personal ornaments. Jim had known there would be two boxes for him and Leonard when he went to her because he had watched her help a smiling Sam pack up his securely to take off world.</p>
<p>He had spent far too long going through both boxes, reminiscing about past holidays, especially ones his mother had been able to be home for, and finding the perfect spot on the tree for each special memory. He had also been committing to memory which box the not so obviously his or Leonard's ornaments would go back into.</p>
<p>Though, if he was being honest with himself, he hoped to not have to ever worry about that. Unfortunately, once he decided to be honest with himself about his feelings for his foster brother, he had been automatically feeling honest about everything else. It was like he couldn't lie to himself anymore. He was having trouble deciding if that was a good or a bad thing.</p>
<p>The whole thing with Jocelyn was the worst part of that, because honesty meant admitting that he would probably lose that battle. He had made damn sure Leonard knew how he felt about her, the whole family had, but Len in return had made certain everyone knew that this was his decision and was, for some reason, happy with it. Jim could give him credit in that he did push back and didn't just take her crap, but who would want to live with that kind of drama?</p>
<p>Leonard, apparently, and as much as Jim hated it, he couldn't push any harder than he had. He wouldn't lose him as a friend. But what if he did? His secret Santa plan was barreling toward an ending that would leave all of his cards on the table, giving Leonard a choice. He could stay with Jocelyn, or he could be adored by Jim. More and more he was thinking his quick decision to make a grand romantic gesture on Christmas was going to do nothing but leave him without one of his best friends.</p>
<p>Jim sighed and mentally reassured himself that even if Bones didn't return his feelings (and how could he, now that he thought about it?) he wouldn't just stop talking to him and cut him out of his life. No, he would ruffle his hair, tell him he's sorry, but Jim will get over his little crush. Then he and Jocelyn would ride off into the sunset, laughing about how cute it was that his little foster brother thinks he loves him. It was almost enough to make Jim forget the whole thing and go with the 'concerned brotherly love' route.</p>
<p>Almost, but not quite. Four years the feelings had been eating at him, and he was telling Bones on Christmas even if it caused the McCoy Holiday Melt Down of the Century.</p>
<p>At least Leonard seemed to like his new nickname.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Day 8 - Hard</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sometimes things are hard.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>No it's not time for that lol. Any how, just wanted to say that any school I've been to, including higher education, the semester wouldn't end until closer to the 20th of Dec. But this is the 23rd Century and a school I don't know, so this is Jim's last week of school before break. Plus I was tired of him being in school 😁</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Day eight dawned to find Jim still feeling nervous about the outcome of his secret Santa plans. He kept vacillating between going on with the original plan to let Leonard know how he felt and changing the last couple of gifts to make it seem as if it had always been platonic love he was expressing. In the end, he decided the best thing to do was to wait and see what happened and decide a bit closer to the end. After all, he still had more than two weeks to go.</p><p>It was Tuesday and he had a final presentation for his Advanced Astrophysics II class to give, so he left his next present on the table, grabbed a travel mug of coffee and an apple, and headed out, doing his best to banish all thoughts of secret Santas, hot doctors, and crazy girlfriends from his mind.</p><p>*~*~*~*~*</p><p>Leonard hadn't slept great the night before. He rose the next day more bleary eyed than usual and padded out to the coffee pot, hoping a shot of caffeine would be enough. He savored the warmth of the beverage as it went down, but it did little to relieve his stress. He was supposed to meet up with Jocelyn for dinner when he got off work that night and he knew they were going to have to have a hard conversation.</p><p>He turned around and leaned against the counter, surveying his tree filled with ornaments. That was enough to bring a smile to his face and help him relax a little. He thought of that and the music on his comm and decided he'd listen to the list again on his way to work to help perk him up. He finally turned to the table to see his newest present and note, which he had already caught out of the corner of his eye.</p><p>He was so grateful for his secret Santa. Whoever they were were going to get a huge thank you come Christmas at the family's holiday party. When they first started it a mere eight days before, he had no idea how much he was going to come to depend on them giving him cheerful little surprises every day. The sudden stress in his relationship with a woman he intended to marry would be absolutely unbearable if it weren't for these breaks in his routine. </p><p>He picked up the note to read, not being able to help the inelegant snort at the content.</p><p>
  <em>For day eight, I needed to give you something Hard. No, not that. Get your mind out of the gutter! </em>
  <em>The more I thought about it, the more I realized that you already had enough 'hard' in your life. No, I </em>
  <em>know your life is good. You've accomplished a lifetime wish in becoming a doctor. That was hard. </em>
  <em>You're a good son. That's sometimes hard. Despite how you may be feeling right now, you're also a </em>
  <em>good boyfriend. That can really be hard. So here's something hard that's meant to help you deal with </em>
  <em>the other hard things, even if it's just a distraction (and maybe yet another reminder that you're loved).</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Love,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Your Secret Santa</em>
</p><p>Leonard opened the package to find a small soapstone heart, off white in color, the edges perfectly rounded and smooth, a dent in the middle just right for the pad of his thumb. He rubbed the worry stone, smiling at the feel of it, feeling his posture relax just a little more. He took it back to his room with him to get ready, making sure to tuck it safely into the pocket of his trousers within easy reach.</p><p>*~*~*~*~*</p><p>Leonard found himself using that worry stone more than he thought he would throughout the day. One of his elderly patients had worrying symptoms and he rubbed the stone in his pocket as he looked over her readings; a baby came in who had recently been off world with his family and had a bad cough and he rubbed the stone as he waited for test results to come back (common cold, no weird alien virus, just bed rest and fluids); he got the message from Jocelyn confirming he'd be to dinner on time so he rubbed the stone after replying, wondering how he was going to broach the subject of her recent behavior. </p><p>It wasn't long, though, before he was faced with that task. Despite numerous patients, tests, and writing up prescriptions and referrals, it was time to leave all too soon and neither McCoy had any patients in need of followup care so they were both free to carry on with their plans. For David, that meant going home to his loving wife to help cook dinner for the two of them. For Leonard....</p><p>“Are you sure you don't want to just cancel and have dinner with your mom and me?” his father half teased, half seriously suggested. “Bet we could pick Jim up on the way. Your mother and I are feeling a bit at odds with just the two of us in the house.”</p><p>“Thanks, dad, but I really need to have a talk with Jocelyn,” he sighed, still working the stone in his pocket.</p><p>“Yes, I suppose you do,” David agreed solemnly. </p><p>“You could try getting Jim to go, though good luck pulling him away from his school work. I think it's his last week.”</p><p>“Yes, I heard him on the comm with your mother yesterday complaining about finals. He has them all day Thursday and two Friday morning, poor kid. I think I will try to drag him home, get a hot meal in him.”</p><p>“He's doing really well in school though, right?” Leonard asked, suddenly feeling concerned about Jim and his future. He wasn't sure where that amount of interest was coming from, though he assumed as a friend he should be concerned with how well he was doing in school.</p><p>“Oh, of course he is,” David said with some pride. “That young man's a genius. Literally. Which led to some dangerous situations when he was a child.”</p><p>“What?!”</p><p>“Those are stories for another day,” David announced firmly. “Now, you and I both need to get going. Love you son, be safe.”</p><p>“I will, love you, too, dad.”</p><p>Leonard watched his father go, shaking his head, before turning and heading towards a transport to take him to the restaurant he was meeting his girlfriend at. His father was not going to get away with bringing something like that up and not giving him details. He'd get him later.</p><p>*~*~*~*~*</p><p>The restaurant was nice but not suit and tie nice. Jocelyn, however, was dressed and done up as if it was the nicest place in the area. Next to her, Leonard felt like he looked like a bum in the shirt, tie, and pants he had worn under his lab coat at work. He rubbed the stone in his pocket as the hostess led him to the table Jocelyn was already sitting at, taking a seat and accepting the menu with a strained smile. The hostess gave him a warm smile in return and Jocelyn shot her a cold look as she walked away.</p><p>“The nerve of some people,” she hissed quietly to him.</p><p>“What are you talking about now?” he asked in an exhausted tone.</p><p>“She was flirting with you.”</p><p>“No, she wasn't. Not everyone who smiles my way is flirting. And those who are? Who cares?”</p><p>“I care.”</p><p>“OK, I was gonna wait until after dinner, but at this rate, I won't be able to eat,” Leonard huffed, slapping the menu down harder than he meant to. “What the hell has gotten into you? You've been rude, sarcastic, and just plain impossible lately. I step one toe over a line I had no idea was there, and I'm being chewed out. Waitstaff or cashiers look at me and you're suddenly the worst kind of customer imaginable. You're putting on airs like we're a lot higher class than we actually are, but the jealousy and possessiveness is what's killing me. You get mad if I want to do something with my family instead of you and you're even jealous of Jim. Honey, I love you, and I used to see a future with the two of so clearly, but I'm beginning to dread even hearing from you and that future's getting fuzzy.”</p><p>By the time Leonard was done with what he had to say, Jocelyn was freely crying. She picked up her napkin and scrubbed her eyes hard enough to smear the makeup off and noisily blew her nose before looking up at him with a watery smile.</p><p>“I'm sorry,” she sniffled. “You're right, about all of it. Everything was fine until recently. I can't even say when it started. It's just... I started noticing how other people look at you and I feel so insecure. Like, you could have any of them.”</p><p>“I don't want any of them,” Leonard replied in exasperation. “You have got to trust me. Trust that I don't notice them looking. Trust that I don't care if they're looking. Trust that it's you I want to be with. I have to have that or I can't go on. I mean, come on, you get looked at and flirted with, too. I take it as a compliment that the prettiest girl in the room picked me.”</p><p>“You're so sweet,” Jocelyn managed through a fresh wave of tears as she twisted the wet napkin in her hands. “I don't deserve you being so sweet. You're just so... much! I can't compete half the time! I have to make an effort to catch other people's eye, you can just roll out of bed and they fawn all over you. And I know you don't see it, but Jim's the worst of them. He looks at you like you hung the stars even when you're your crankiest.”</p><p>“I do see it, though I don't think it's like that,” he protested. “But that's where trust has to come into it. <br/>
You have to trust me not to want anyone but you. And you have to stop getting all nasty when I want to see my parents even though you wanted to do something else.”</p><p>“You're right,” she agreed, finally getting the tears under control. “Maybe after I get to know everyone at the Christmas party, it will be better? I can start coming with you to see your parents?”</p><p>“You could come now.”</p><p>“They don't like me, but maybe they will once they see I just want what's best for you.”</p><p>“Maybe so,” he agreed, feeling like the conversation took a turn into a neighborhood he wasn't familiar with. “Are we going to be OK? Is this going to work?”</p><p>“Yes,” she said emphatically. “I promise I trust you and I'll stop getting mad at people for being interested in you, and I'll stop asking you to go out with me instead of going to your parents'. If I wanted to spend time with you, I'll just go with you. Um, can we get out of here? The waiters are staring at us. And I think I want a burger and milkshake instead.”</p><p>“That sounds like a good idea,” he smiled and took her hand as they stood and left.</p><p>While Leonard felt mostly better, he also felt a pit open up in his stomach. That went the way he wanted it to, didn't it? OK, it was weird to realize that some of Jocelyn's jealously was clearly because she thought he was better looking than her and he was getting more attention, even if she didn't say so explicitly. And his goal with his family time was just to keep her from interfering in it, not for her to become involved in it, but if he wants to marry her some day, he should want her involved, right? It sounded right in his head, but something still felt off.</p><p>He continued to hold her right hand in his left as they headed down the street to a close by family burger place while he kept his right hand in his pocket, rubbing his worry stone and tracing its heart shape with his fingers.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Oh no! Could that feeling be... his soul reacting to being sold to the devil?! (Cackles evilly)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Day 9 - Green</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Day 9 is green and Leonard's goody isn't the only thing that's green.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Dinner was great, ma,” Jim sighed as he pushed back from the table, completely full. </p>
<p>“I helped,” David teased from where he was working on seconds.</p>
<p>“Thanks, dad, you cut up those veggies real nice,” he grinned and stood to start clearing the table.</p>
<p>“You're darn right I did,” the elder McCoy agreed with a self satisfied nod that left his wife laughing at both men.</p>
<p>“Don't let him fool you,” Eleanora chastised them. “He can do a mean saute. Now let's get these dishes taken care of so I can find out what's going on with Leonard and that woman.”</p>
<p>“Is that why you like talking to me now?” Jim asked with a smirk. “So I can report on Bones?”</p>
<p>“Bones?” both parents asked in unison.</p>
<p>“Oh, yeah, something he said, and the day five gift he liked so much,” Jim admitted, rubbing the back of his neck, suddenly feeling bashful. “I started calling him Bones. And he didn't demand I stop, so, there ya go.”</p>
<p>“Well, that's cute,” Eleanora smiled. </p>
<p>“It's a better nickname than 'that woman,'” David agreed a little sarcastically.</p>
<p>“Well, that's the nicest thing I can think to call her.”</p>
<p>“You may need to just call her by her name,” David admonished. “I don't like her either, but Len seems hell bent on being with her and we might better start getting on board now since there will probably be grandchildren some day.”</p>
<p>Eleanora gave a delicate shudder and Jim just felt sad. He never thought of children, not really. He wasn't sure if he wanted to be a dad. Leonard seemed to think that children were a given for his future. </p>
<p>In all his desire to be with the other man, to save him from his horrible girlfriend, he never really let himself think about the difficulties of them being together even without her in the picture. The only thing he really considered an obstacle was their relationship as foster brothers, but between his mom and Eleanora, he wasn't as concerned with that any more. But were they really suited to each other for the long term?</p>
<p>“OK, son, what's on your mind?” David asked gently. “Where did you just go?”</p>
<p>“Oh, nowhere,” Jim lied easily. “Just blanked for a minute. Sorry. Um, well, I can say that Leonard's concerned about her new jealous streak. She gets mad at everyone who even looks at him twice. She's even convinced I'm in love with him.”</p>
<p>Both McCoys gave him a sardonic look, one eyebrow raised, and Jim winced.</p>
<p>“Well, it's not about me,” he argued. “She has to trust him. He's planning on talking to her about it tonight. He said if things don't change, he'll have to end it, though he didn't say that in so many words.”</p>
<p>“He was pretty nervous about going to dinner with her,” David confirmed, “but we still don't need to get our hopes up. He's invested a lot of time in this relationship and she seems determined to hold on <br/>to him.”</p>
<p>*~*~*~*~*</p>
<p>David was, of course, right, Jim found out when he finally made it back home that night. From the low hum of voices coming from Leonard's room, it was clear they had made up and she would be staying the night again. He heaved a sigh, feeling his heart break just a little, and chastised himself for getting his hopes up at all. He needed to let this go. He'd make adjustments to the last two gifts once school was finished.</p>
<p>He went to his room and pulled the next day's gift out and set it up as usual, giving the display a sad smile as he went back to his room to try to get some sleep before he had to attend his last day of classes before his finals.</p>
<p>He was woken up just before his alarm went off to shouting. He jolted out of bed, adrenaline coursing through his body, and ran out of his room in nothing but his boxers.</p>
<p>“Jocelyn,” Leonard was saying as he skidded to halt a few feet from them, “you need to calm down.”</p>
<p>“No!” she shouted, waving shiny green fabric around. “You need to explain this! This is not a gift from family!”</p>
<p>“My family buys underwear all the time, it's not a bid deal!”</p>
<p>“It's satin boxers!”</p>
<p>“You are totally over reacting.”</p>
<p>“Really?!” She turned them in her hands so that the crotch was facing up and undid a little snap that Jim had honestly not noticed before. “It doesn't just open in the front like normal men's underpants, the slit goes ALL THE WAY BACK! These are sex underwear!”</p>
<p>Jim's face turned beet red. That wasn't what he intended to get. He was pretty sure he didn't actually order those. They must have sent the wrong style and he had no clue he should have checked. He had wanted it to be funny. Day nine, Green, green satin boxers. He had also included a pair of green fuzzy socks, but he could see from where he was standing that those were still in the box, completely ignored.</p>
<p>“Maybe,” Leonard was continuing, in total ignorance of Jim's internal plight, “they meant them for us to have fun with.”</p>
<p>“Really?” Jocelyn hissed angrily, as only she could and often did. “These are meant for two men!”</p>
<p>“Well that's just narrow minded,” Leonard huffed. “Lot's of hetero couples engage in anal play.”</p>
<p>“I don't do butt stuff!”</p>
<p>“Um,” Jim finally spoke up, cringing when two glares landed on him. “That was an accident. Your secret Santa meant to get your normal underwear, not those.”</p>
<p>“Bullshit!” Jocelyn exploded. “I don't want to hear what you have to say, you whore! I know you're the one who bought these and I know you're fucking my boyfriend!”</p>
<p>“What?!” Jim exclaimed, taking a step back and crossing his arms over his chest, feeling suddenly exposed and threatened. “No I'm not!”</p>
<p>“Jocelyn,” Leonard said, far too quietly, far too stiffly. When she turned back to him she could see that his face was a thunder storm barely under control. “I told you last night that you had to trust me. Not strangers, not Jim, me. You said you did. And now you're accusing me of cheating on you.”</p>
<p>“But these boxers...”</p>
<p>“Could mean a million things or not a damn thing but they don't make a damn bit of difference if you trust me!” he exploded. “I'm done. I'm fucking done. Get out, lose my contact information, I don't want to ever see you again. You stepped over the line going after Jim and accusing me of cheating. Now leave!”</p>
<p>“Fine! I don't want to be with someone who would brush off my concerns about his roommate and supposed brother! You ARE cheating, you're clearly screwing HIM! I guess the prettiest one in the room DID pick you!”</p>
<p>With that, she stormed out of the apartment. Leonard still looked pissed, but he relaxed significantly. Jim wondered if he looked as shell shocked as he felt.</p>
<p>“The prettiest... what was that?”</p>
<p>“Something we talked about last night,” Leonard replied tiredly, rubbing his forehead. “She admitted she was jealous but some of the jealousy was because she seemed to think I'm better looking than her and get more attention. She seems to have this weird hang up about other people being prettier than her. I told her when people paid her attention I just counted myself lucky I was picked by the pretties girl in the room.”</p>
<p>“That's just bizarre. She was jealous of you? You were her boyfriend.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, and she clearly thinks you're prettier than her, too.”</p>
<p>“Well, that's true, but not the point,” Jim sighed. “I'm sorry, Bones. I feel like this is my fault for not checking that gift.”</p>
<p>“No, it's her fault for acting like a child. You were so embarrassed when you realized what happened. Despite everything, I nearly started laughing.”</p>
<p>“I nearly started laughing when she said 'butt stuff' all scandalized.”</p>
<p>“Oh, I know! If you'd ever met her parents, you'd understand some of her reactions better.”</p>
<p><br/>“I don't know if I'll ever understand that. Every girlfriend I've ever had would have loved those boxers and put me through my paces in them.”</p>
<p>“You're a lucky man, Jim Kirk,” Leonard laughed, then quickly sobered. “I need to go ahead and pack up any of her stuff that's laying around here. I'm not giving her an excuse to come back. There's no going back from what she did.”</p>
<p>“You going to look at the rest of your gift?”</p>
<p>“The rest?” Leonard picked up the box and chuckled when he saw the socks. He picked up the note and shook his head. </p>
<p>
  <em>For day number nine it's the color Green. You already have green eyes (well, hazel, but close enough) </em>
  <em>so I thought, why not make you green from head to toe and in between? </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Love,</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Your Secret Santa</em>
</p>
<p>“She still would have hated it and had a fit,” Leonard snorted as he disappeared into his room, leaving Jim alone in his underwear.</p>
<p>Jim felt oddly guilty about the breakup. He wanted them to breakup, he wanted Leonard to want him instead, but he also didn't want to be at fault for the breakup. He heaved a sigh and turned back to his room to get ready for the day. He'd just have to remind himself that it really wasn't his fault. Her reaction was a ten on the crazy scale. Besides, he had more important things to worry about than her drama.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Day 10 - Natural</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Day 10 is Natural, and Leonard is naturally dealing with a lot.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry for the wide divergence on times that I post these chapters. I'm actually now only one chapter ahead and my hours at work have increased a little (retail + holidays = why do I enjoy this job again?). For those new to me, I'm posting from the eastern time zone. Thanks!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Leonard went to his room and did exactly what he said he was going to do, packing up stray pieces of clothing, makeup, and other odds and ends. He sent a quick comm to his father, letting him know that he was going to be a little late and headed out. He passed Jim as the younger man was getting his school things packed away into his back pack. He grunted his goodbyes to him and left, heading straight to Jocelyn's parents' house.</p><p>He would have gone to her apartment, but that was clear across town and her parents' home was closer to the practice. Besides, she'd know it was there faster than if he left it her place. Her parents' housekeeper would be calling everyone she could think of to let them know that Ms. Jocelyn's beau had dropped a box of her stuff off with a hand scrawled note on top that simply said 'good riddance.' He dropped off the box and hurried away, hoping said housekeeper wouldn't see him and try and stop him to chat.</p><p>He made it to the practice not long after he would have anyway and was in time to take his first patient. His father gave him a questioning look, but he just waved him off. He knew he couldn't put him off forever, but he knew he was safe from questions so long as he had patients to see.</p><p>Somehow, he had forgotten he would be alone in a car with him on the way to the family home for lunch.</p><p>“Well, son, you wanna talk about what's on your mind?” David asked once they were on the road.</p><p>“Might as well wait until we're with mamma so I don't have to tell it twice,” he sighed.</p><p>“Understood.”</p><p>The practice was, unfortunately as far as Leonard was concerned, close to their home, too. They had parked and were heading inside long before he was ready.</p><p>“Oh, my poor baby,” Eleanora greeted them at the door, pulling Leonard into a tight hug. He rolled his eyes in exasperation, hugging her back.</p><p>“That little tow headed gossip has already commed you, hasn't he?” he asked.</p><p>“He told me when he commed to ask if I have any deliveries for him today.”</p><p>“Even though we all know you're handling it the next three days because he has finals?”</p><p>“He just wanted to make certain I didn't need any help.”</p><p>“Uh huh,” Leonard said sarcastically. “He's soooo helpful, and not the least bit gossipy.”</p><p>“He can be both.”</p><p>“Will someone tell me what's going on?” David finally interrupted as they sat down to a table set with soup and sandwiches.</p><p>“Jocelyn accused me of cheating on her this morning. I ended it. I can't abide her not trusting me and we had just had a conversation about that.”</p><p>“I'm sorry son,” David said with sympathy. “I can't say I'm surprised, though.”</p><p>“Me neither,” Eleanora agreed.</p><p>“But regardless of what happened or what happens in the future, your mother and I support you.”</p><p>“Of course we do.”</p><p>“Thanks,” he sighed.</p><p>Once they were done and heading out to get back to the practice, Eleanora pulled David aside.</p><p>“You did mean that we support him getting together with Jim, right?”</p><p>“I meant in everything,” David said firmly. “Including if he ends up getting back together with Jocelyn.”</p><p>“That won't happen,” Eleanora replied, horror lacing her voice.</p><p>“Crazier things have,” he shook his head, “and I can promise you she'll at least try.”</p><p>*~*~*~*~*</p><p>Leonard went to bed that night angry and with a righteous conviction that he had done exactly the right thing, that he was much better off with her gone, and his life would be looking up from then on out. He woke up the next morning not as sure. The natural sadness of ending a relationship as serious as theirs had been was setting in and making him question his decision. Hell, he knew it was natural to feel that way, but he couldn't for the life of him stop questioning himself.</p><p>Knowing that he still needed to get up and start the day, that he couldn't just lay around doing nothing but pouting, he got up and wandered into the kitchen to find his morning coffee. What greeted him instead was Jim laying out the final results of a fully cooked breakfast.</p><p>“What is this?” he asked, a little dumbfounded. “Don't you have finals today?”</p><p>“I do,” Jim smiled, bright and sunny as usual. “And a good breakfast will help fuel me through them. Also, I knew you wouldn't be feeling great today so I thought this might cheer you up.”</p><p>“But you don't have time...”</p><p>“That's the only good thing about finals. I have three today and the first one isn't until eleven. I have time.”</p><p>With that, Jim sat down and got to work on eating his plate of bacon, eggs, grits, and biscuits, allowing no argument. Leonard sat down across from him, tucking into his own, mixing his perfectly cooked over easy eggs with his grits and spreading his preserves on his biscuit. Suddenly, he didn't feel as bad as he did before, and he enjoyed his hearty meal sitting across from his best friend. And he had to admit that Jim really had become his best friend.</p><p>Once they were done, Jim insisted on taking care of the dishes, even though that's not how they usually did things, while Leonard got ready to go into the practice. He came out of the bathroom, showered and dressed, ready for the day, to find Jim looking over his notes on the sofa and another present on the table. He smiled a little but was reminded of the blowup from the morning before.</p><p>He picked up the note tentatively as if it might blow up the way Jocelyn had.</p><p>
  <em>Can you believe it's already day ten? We're not halfway there yet, but ten seems like a momentous </em>
  <em>number.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Today's gift has to be Natural. I thought it might be funny to just find you a pine cone but luckily for </em>
  <em>you, I found this in a store and decided that it would be a much nicer gift. Plus, it's another reminder to </em>
  <em>just relax once in awhile.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Love,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Your Secret Santa</em>
</p><p>He opened up the package to find a set of all natural bath oils. He opened up the lavender and inhaled, instantly relaxing at the strong scent. He glanced over to where Jim was watching him.</p><p>“Well, I think I know what I'm doing tonight,” he drawled. “Thanks again for the breakfast, and good <br/>
luck on those finals.”</p><p>“Yep, see ya Bones.”</p><p>Jim smiled in satisfaction as he watched Leonard leave.</p><p>*~*~*~*~*</p><p>The first call came in on his way to work. Leonard scowled at the ID, decided he wasn't going to let it bother him, and sent it straight to voice mail. It was quickly followed by a text message that he ignored. The second call came right around the time he and his father took lunch. This one he also sent to voice mail, only for the caller to hang up and call right back, bypassing the message center. He sent that one as well, refused to answer his father's question which was answer enough, and turned on his Jolly Playlist. Three rapid text messages followed.</p><p>By the time he was finished for the day, he had received two more calls, six more texts, and had finally reprogrammed the number to no longer alert him when it called but just go directly to a message that explained the comm owner was no longer taking their calls and was not leaving an option for a message to be left.</p><p>With a deep sigh, he was finally left in blessed silence and no longer worried about when Jocelyn would call next. He walked through his front door to find Jim... meditating.</p><p>“I didn't even know we owned a meditation rug,” he laughed. “Or incense. Or that you could bend that way.”</p><p>Jim, not breaking the lotus position, opened one eye, bright blue staring the other man down.</p><p>“I absolutely can't absorb any more information. One of my friends said this would help it... settle.”</p><p>“Twisting like a pretzel? Let me know if you cramp up. I'll help you out of your knot.”</p><p>“She also suggested sex,” he shot back, re-closing his eye. “Want to help with that, too?”</p><p>“I'm getting a bath,” Leonard announced instead of responding to what he had to admit was a tempting idea with his clearly flexible friend. “I've spent the day avoiding Jocelyn's calls and messages. I need to relax.”</p><p>“That's what I was suggesting,” Jim sing songed, eyes still closed.</p><p>“Ha ha, enjoy your tendon strain.”</p><p>Jim just smiled as he heard the door to the bathroom snick shut, impressed with his own audacity. He wasn't sure what he would have done if Len had taken him up on that offer. Good thing the other man didn't think he was serious.</p><p>He had actually achieved a meditative state before he had been so rudely interrupted and he tried to relax and reenter that state when he was disturbed again, this time by the chiming of his own comm. With an exasperated huff, he easily unwound his legs (ha, take that, Bones!) and opened it, not checking to see who was calling.</p><p>“Kirk here,” he answered.</p><p><em>“Oh, thank god, Jim,”</em> Jocelyn's voice came over the device and he scowled, cursing himself for not checking to see who it was.<em> “I've been trying to get a hold of Leonard all day.”</em></p><p>“Maybe you should take the hint,” he snarled, ready to slam the cover closed and end the call.</p><p><br/>
<em>“Wait!”</em> she said as if she knew what was about to happen. <em>“I know, I know I deserve it all, but I really need your help. I'm not asking you to try and get him to talk to me right now, I know he's too mad, especially since he hasn't read or listened to any of my messages. But would you please meet with me </em><br/>
<em>tomorrow? I really, really am desperate or I wouldn't ask, especially after how awful I was to you. And you didn't deserve it, I know that, just please hear me out.”</em></p><p>“Jocelyn, I have finals in the morning, and I really don't need this stress...”</p><p>
  <em>“I know, and I'm sorry, I wouldn't do this if I had any other choice. I thought about going to his parents but I think he would be more open to listening if it came from you. Just come and see me tomorrow, you pick the time and place, I'll be there.”</em>
</p><p>“Jocelyn, I can't...”</p><p>
  <em>“Oh, Jim, I'm pregnant.”</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I am so sorry. This bit of drama was not planned she just did it. I already know where it's going though. I would tell you not to panic, but maybe you should 😵</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Day 11 - Good Smelling</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Day 11 is Good Smelling but that's not the focus anymore 😭</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jim lay in bed that night, unable to sleep. He wondered if this was Jocelyn's goal. Maybe she was lying in the hopes that she would upset Jim enough to make him fail his finals. That would be just like her. She'd want revenge with how she felt Jim had sabotaged her relationship with Leonard. He'd show up to their meeting the next day to find her waiting for him, a smug look on her face, asking how his testing went.</p>
<p>Though he had to admit that was a little preposterous even for her. The only other explanation was... she was telling the truth and she really was pregnant. Any other of his friends involved in that situation and Jim would believe it was a ploy to get him to get back together with her and then she'd get pregnant for real, but Leonard would demand proof. He'd probably want to do the pregnancy test himself.</p>
<p>He suddenly thought about Leonard's new medical scanner. He knew the doctor carried it everywhere he went, leaving it in his rucksack when it wasn't being used. He didn't know how doing a scan of Jocelyn would help him, but he decided that's exactly what he wanted to do. Maybe she did have some trick up her sleeve and she wouldn't be prepared for a scan right then.</p>
<p>Jim got up and crept quietly from his room to Len's, finding the scanner where he thought it would be and carefully closing the other man's bag back up before leaving and returning to his room. By the time Leonard realized it was missing, if he ever did, Jim would be long gone out of the apartment.</p>
<p>*~*~*~*~*</p>
<p>Jim left earlier than he needed to, wanting to find a couple of volunteers to help him familiarize himself with the controls of the scanner. He placed day eleven's gift on the table and looked at it sadly as he turned to leave. He hoped Leonard took comfort from the gift even as he knew he would probably be stripping that comfort away.</p>
<p>Once he was at school he went on the hunt for the right students, asking a lot of confused students in they were premed until he found a small group that answered yes. None of them had ever used a scanner as complicated as the one he showed them, however. Finally, he went up to the sciences division and cornered the anatomy professor.</p>
<p>“Dr. Philips,” he panted as he ran into her office to find her alone. “I don't suppose you have time to help me with a little project?”</p>
<p>“A project? This late? Surely it was due days ago. Are you one of my students?”</p>
<p>“No, I'm so sorry,” he blushed, sticking a hand out to shake. “Jim Kirk, I'm actually studying engineering. And this is a personal project. It's the latest medscanner from Starfleet. I'm interested in it due to it being an engineering breakthrough, but I can't really get past turning it on.”</p>
<p>“Oh, I'd love to see that, thank you,” she said in awe as he handed it over. She cradled it carefully, inspecting it from all sides, before turning it on and peering at the readout. “It looks like it's been used on several people already,” she commented as she waved it over herself and looked at the readings. “What exactly do you want to know how to do?”</p>
<p>“Um, pregnancy scan?” he answered, trying to sound matter of fact, but he winced as it came out a question.</p>
<p>“OK,” she said, seeming unfazed, and stepped so they were side by side and he could see what she was doing. “This was meant for Starfleet doctors. Whenever they would turn it on it would get their identity from their comm badge. Whoever had this before you reprogrammed it to read off of a civilian comm. Not as secure, since it reads whatever comm you have on your person, but a good work around. Without it, you'd be able to do some basic scans, maybe even be able to tell if someone's pregnant, but nothing too invasive. Now here's a nifty little optional feature. Put your thumb here and hold it for scan.”</p>
<p>Jim did is as told then removed his thumb once it was done scanning. Dr. Philips turned to face him and scanned him, then came back to his side to show him the results.</p>
<p>“What you just did was consent to me performing any and all scans. Now, not getting consent won't keep it from doing the exact same scan, but it's nice to have. Oh, sorry Mr. Kirk. You're not pregnant. Better luck next time.”</p>
<p>“Thanks,” he laughed. “I'm not sure I remember how to get to that screen.”</p>
<p>“Not surprised. It takes awhile to learn to use one of these things. If you don't need it for anything else, I can just shut it off and when you turn it on again it will still be ready for a prenatal scan?”</p>
<p>“That would be great, thank you,” he said in relief, accepting back the now off scanner and turning to leave.</p>
<p>“Mr. Kirk?” she called, stopping him. “You using that to scan someone... it enters some gray areas of medical ethics. Now, you're not a doctor, so you yourself are unlikely to get into any trouble worse than a stern talking to, but the doctor you got that from could be considered an accomplice in the invasion of someone's privacy. That's the main reason I showed you that consent confirmation thumb scan. Most doctors wouldn't bother with it. The patient coming into their office for an exam is consent. It's there for extenuating circumstances. I don't know what you're going through right now and I wish you the best of luck, but don't scan her on the sly. Ask her, and ask for her thumb scan to confirm it.”</p>
<p>“I will, I promise,” he said, glad she had said something. He hadn't thought that he could get Bones in trouble.</p>
<p>He headed off to his exams, not feeling any better per se, but definitely more confident with a solid plan in his pocket.</p>
<p>*~*~*~*~*</p>
<p>Leonard practically bounced out of bed, feeling lighter than he had in a long time. How long, he wondered, had his relationship with Jocelyn been bringing him down?</p>
<p>He checked his comm first thing, seeing no new messages. Without even looking at the text messages or listening to the voice mails, he deleted all of them. It felt like he was erasing all the negativity in his life. He walked out of his room and saw his latest present on the table, a smile splitting his face wide. Perfect.</p>
<p>
  <em>Welcome to Day Eleven! Today is Good Smelling. I know, kind of a weird adjective, but it's fitting. This time of year there are so many things that smell good filling the air. I decided to give you some of your favorites. It also keeps with the theme of yesterday's gift... relaxation.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Love, </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Your Secret Santa</em>
</p>
<p>He excitedly opened the package to find old fashioned jar candles. There was lavender, which would be great to burn while he was relaxing in the bath with his bath oils, eucalyptus, pine, and apple cinnamon. The last two he placed in the center of the table and lit. His secret Santa was right. The list scent of the candles filling the apartment as he got ready for the day was both relaxing and uplifting.</p>
<p>This was going to be the perfect day.</p>
<p>*~*~*~*~*</p>
<p>Somehow, Jim was able to push thoughts of his meeting with Jocelyn to the back of his mind and actually concentrate enough on his finals to feel confident of the outcome. Once done, though, he was plagued with nerves. He felt like he was betraying Bones by entering peace talks with his sworn enemy and then returning with the tools of his destruction.</p>
<p>Even he had to admit that was a little dramatic.</p>
<p>The place he had picked was an outdoor cafe far enough from the University that he had never bothered going there before. That gave him the added benefit of maybe not seeing anyone he knew. By the time he got there, Jocelyn was already at a table, a half full glass of water in front of her. Jim sat down across from her and they locked eyes. She looked drawn and pale, not like someone who was gleefully wrecking havoc on his life.</p>
<p>“So,” he finally broke the silence. “Pregnant.”</p>
<p>“Yes,” she admitted, her hand straying to her still flat midsection. “I literally only found out yesterday. I had had every intention of just leaving Leonard alone, letting you two be... you're not actually having an affair, are you.”</p>
<p>“No,” he admitted grudgingly.</p>
<p>“Well, some of my crazy might have been due to my body trying to tell me something and me not listening. I'm truly sorry, Jim.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, me too,” he replied, meaning something completely different. He pulled out the scanner and showed it to her. “Can I take a scan of you? To show him? He's really not likely to just believe you.”</p>
<p>“Well, this would be a real stupid lie,” she smiled sadly, wiping a tear off her face. “He could figure it out so quick... but yes. Yes, scan me and show him, please.”</p>
<p>“OK,” Jim nodded, turning the scanner on and holding it out to her. “This is a thumb scan, saying you consent to any and all scans I'm about to perform.”</p>
<p>She placed her thumb on the scanner and let it take a print then stood back while Jim ran the device over her, watching the screen as it beeped and numbers ran across it. In a mere two seconds, he had what he needed – a fetal heart rate.</p>
<p>“This thing says everything's normal,” he said quietly. “Congratulations.”</p>
<p>“Thank you, Jim.”</p>
<p>He left without another word.</p>
<p>*~*~*~*~*</p>
<p>Leonard was just getting out of the bath, feeling relaxed and refreshed, when he heard the door to the apartment open and close.</p>
<p>“Bout time you got home,” he greeted Jim cheerfully as he came out of the bathroom wearing a robe. “Yeah, sorry, needed some fresh air so I walked around a little bit.”</p>
<p>“Hey, what's wrong?” Leonard sat on the sofa next to Jim, reaching out to squeeze his shoulder, suddenly alarmed at his friend's depressed demeanor. “You couldn't have possibly failed your finals. You studied for those harder than I ever did.”</p>
<p>“No, no the finals went fine,” he said, pulling the medical scanner out of his pocket and flipping it on. “I borrowed this from you. You'll see I did a scan with it. She even gave me a thumb scan as consent.”</p>
<p>“What's going on?”</p>
<p>“Jocelyn's pregnant.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Day 12 - Day</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Day 12 is Day. What kind of daytime gift could Jim have gotten Leonard? And how's Leonard doing with his little surprise?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Leonard just stared at the scanner in his hand as if looking at it any harder would change the readings, but they never wavered. There was the confirmation that the patient scanned was indeed Jocelyn Darnell, along with a positive pregnancy scan and a fetal heart rate. It looked like his baby was healthy. He shuddered and turned it off, staring straight ahead.</p><p>“I'm sorry, Bones,” Jim said quietly. “She couldn't get a hold of you, so she called me. I picked up without even looking at the ID. I should have told you right away, but I hoped...”</p><p>“Hey, now,” Leonard said, finally breaking out of his thoughts and turning to the distressed man beside him. He wrapped an arm around his shoulders and brought him close, burying his nose in the hair above his temple. “This isn't your fault. Hell, if our situations were reversed, I'd've had no idea what to do. I'm glad you're here, Jim.”</p><p>Jim, doing his best to hold back tears, wrapped an arm around the other man's waist and held on tight, leaning into Leonard's hold. He wanted to feel lips pressing against his temple, not just the light brush of them and warm air from his mouth. He wanted to turn in his arms and press his mouth to his properly, but this didn't feel like the right time. He wasn't sure if there ever would be a right time now. Finally, Leonard released him and stood up.</p><p>“It's a little early, but I suddenly don't feel like doing anything but going to bed. Goodnight, Jim.”</p><p>“Goodnight, Bones.”</p><p>Leonard disappeared into his room, leaving Jim alone and cold.</p><p>*~*~*~*~*</p><p>It was a long time before Leonard actually got off to sleep, but he used that time to really think about what he was going to do with the new information. When he woke up the next morning, it wasn't with <br/>
the same carefree feeling of the morning before, but it was with a lighter heart than he could have <br/>
imagined the night before.</p><p>The first thing he did was unblock Jocelyn and send her a message. She replied quickly and positively which surprised him, but he was grateful for. Then he got dressed in casual clothes and strolled out into the dining room to find Jim sitting at the table still in his sleep clothes, staring forlornly at the present sitting in the middle.</p><p>“You look like you just found out your ex-girlfriend is pregnant,” he said as he poured himself a cup of coffee. “Oh wait, that was me.”</p><p>“Huh, yeah, you seem to be taking it better than I am,” Jim laughed, though it sounded forced.</p><p>“Not much I can do,” Leonard shrugged. “May as well not let it stress me out. Now hand over my gift.”</p><p>“Bossy and spoiled,” Jim rolled his eyes. “You're going to be a terrible influence on a child.”</p><p>“Bullshit. I'm going to be a fantastic dad.”</p><p>“Yeah, you are,” Jim replied, suddenly serious and a little bit fond. He handed the gift over as demanded.</p><p>It was once again just an envelope. Leonard looked around the apartment quickly to see if anything had been changed, but found everything the same. He opened it to find a note and two tickets.</p><p>
  <em>Today's gift has to do with the Day. What would be a nice gift for the daytime? Howabout tickets to the Atlanta Zoo, where you can see interactive, life like holographs of hundreds of Earth species, learn about their natural environments, and man's past mistakes and future hopes. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Go twice! Or take someone! You deserve a day off.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Love,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Your Secret Santa</em>
</p><p>“Go get dressed, Jim,” Bones announced. “We're getting some breakfast, then I'm taking you to the zoo.”</p><p>*~*~*~*~*</p><p>It was a good day, as far as those things go, Leonard decided. His life had changed, but not necessarily for the worst, and he got to spend the day with Jim. Jim, who he was starting to think about in a different light. Jocelyn had been right about the younger man having a crush on him, and who was Len to judge if it was serious or not?</p><p>He had even thought, maybe a couple of months down the road when the breakup wasn't so fresh, and if Jim still seemed to have romantic feelings for him, he'd ask him out. Then the announcement of Jocelyn's pregnancy happened and he thought that he needed to put that thought aside. There was no way he could ask him to seriously attach himself to a man with a child. But, maybe that thought was too hasty. Maybe after the baby was born...</p><p>“You look like you're a million miles away,” he said as he watched Jim stare through the penguin display instead of playing with the holographic penguins like other guests were doing. “What's on your mind?”</p><p>“Nothing that's really any of my business,” Jim shrugged, “but I will admit, I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around the idea of you getting back together with Jocelyn.”</p><p>“Ugh, no, I'm not getting back together with her,” Leonard shuddered and then smiled at Jim's startled look. He took a deep breath, then took the other man's hand in his. “A long time ago, when this little boy and tiny baby came to stay with us, I learned from my mamma that not all families look the same, but that didn't mean that the children weren't loved and taken good care of. I already contacted Jocelyn and let her know that I had no interest in getting back with her, but that I want to be an active parent to our child. She was happy with that. I'm happy with that, too. It's all going to work out, Jim.”</p><p>Jim smiled at him, the first one that reached his eyes all day, and squeezed the hand in his.</p><p>*~*~*~*~*</p><p>Jim could not believe the day he was having. The day before he thought his hopes were dashed. Leonard was going to be a father and Jocelyn surely would insist that they get married, and Leonard would agree. Now, however, he finds that Leonard isn't going back to her... and spent half the day at the zoo holding hands with him. Even when they let go to interact with a display, Leonard would pick his hand back up in his with a shy smile that made Jim's heart flip.</p><p>They got home shortly after the sun had gone down, tired and thinking of ordering Chinese to be delivered, when Leonard's comm went off.</p><p>“Huh, it's Jocelyn,” he said, his tone no longer hostile but not thrilled, either. “I told her I want to go with her to her first check, but I thought she'd send the date and time in a text. I'll be right back, go ahead and order for me, OK Jim?”</p><p>“Sure, Bones,” he said as the other man disappeared into his room. </p><p>He grinned as he contacted the local delivery place and placed their order. Everything felt different. Leonard hadn't said anything, hadn't told him what he wanted out of him relationship wise, but their interactions were completely different, now. There was more touching, more tender looks, and maybe, maybe he'd kiss him. He thought he'd never get the chance, now the time actually seemed right.</p><p>“Well maybe,” Leonard was shouting into his comm as he stormed out of his room, “you should grow a backbone and stand up to your father! You're nearly thirty and about to be a mother, your parents don't have a damn thing to say about your life, and they NEVER had any say in mine!”</p><p>
  <em>“Leonard, be reasonable...”</em>
</p><p>“You be reasonable! It's not happening, and it's unreasonable for you to have expected me to roll over and cave to their demands! But then again, you agree with them don't you? You asked for daddy to take the role of bad guy so you could get what you want and could still play the innocent victim!”</p><p>
  <em>“Leonard, I just want what's best for the baby...”</em>
</p><p>“And that's what my life is going to be, isn't it? You using a CHILD to manipulate me! You're not getting your way, Jocelyn! You'll be getting a call from my lawyer!”</p><p>He hung up, seething in anger, before he took a deep breath and got control over himself.</p><p>“I may need to borrow your meditation rug,” he said to Jim then collapsed on the sofa.</p><p>“What was that about?” Jim asked, his heart constricting in his chest. He just knew a new obstacle had been put in their way.</p><p>“Jocelyn's father is insisting that I marry his pregnant daughter, so she won't be 'humiliated.'”</p><p>“Humiliated by what?”</p><p>“They're a weird bunch with very old fashioned ideas. Actually, I'm pretty sure he's not even that antiquated, but if Jocelyn wants something he'll do what he can to get it for her. I guess that includes me as a husband. Damn it, I'm sorry, Jim. I know you just ordered food, but I'm not hungry anymore. Just put mine in the fridge.”</p><p>“OK,” Jim sighed and watch Leonard disappear, shoulders slumped, again.</p><p>He didn't know how much more his friend could take of this teeter totter of stress he found himself on. Jim wasn't sure how much his own heart could take.</p><p>*~*~*~*~*</p><p>Leonard found himself, once again, laying on his bed and staring at the ceiling. He picked up the scanner to look at the readings Jim took again. He pressed a few buttons, impressed with how much detail the device provided. It was amazing how much information Starfleet wanted if one of their members turned up pregnant.</p><p>Suddenly, a strange reading caught his eye. It wasn't really strange, just strange that he was seeing it. Starfleet needed to know everything, it seemed. He picked up his comm and quickly called Jocelyn back.</p><p>“You know what, let's discuss this like civilized people. My parent's house, ten AM, bring your parents, too,” then he hung up without leaving her a chance to get a word in edgewise.</p><p>Len got up with renewed energy and restored hunger, entering the dining room just as Jim was placing the order onto their table.</p><p>“I changed my mind,” he said with a grin. “I'm starved. Oh, and I need to come with me to mom and dad's tomorrow morning.”</p><p>“Um, OK,” Jim agreed, looking totally confused.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Day 13 - Night</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Day thirteen is Night and it's also the day of fallout.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I knew you guys would know what's going on lol. You're smart cookies! I might could have fooled you if I had made Bones upset but I was afraid that would bring to mind things that could be upsetting and didn't want to go there. So, enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>By the next morning, Jim was just so confused. By all accounts, Leonard should have been upset, nervous, or mad, but he was none of those things. He was calm, happy, almost smarmy. Day thirteen's present was in the middle of their table as usual, but he wasn't pouncing on it; just enjoying his coffee and breakfast – French toast which he had insisted on making for himself and Jim.</p><p>“I'm heading to mom and dad's in a bit to have a meeting with the Darnell's. I'd really like you to come with me,” he announced out of nowhere, leaving Jim even more confused. The only thing he could think of that would leave Leonard so calm and relaxed in this situation was...</p><p>“You've given in, haven't you,” Jim said with as much control as he could muster. “You're going to propose to Jocelyn.”</p><p>“Oh, HELL no,” he scoffed indignantly. “Now, let's see what Santa brought today!”</p><p>He picked up the envelope, ripped it open, and brandished two tickets similar to yesterday's as he read the note.</p><p>
  <em>Day thirteen is day twelve's companion. Yesterday was Day, today is Night, and while Day was perfect </em>
  <em>for observing wildlife, Night is perfect for gazing at stars.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Love,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Your Secret Santa</em>
</p><p>“Awesome,” he smiled. “You done with breakfast? So get ready. We'll celebrate afterwards with a stroll downtown and a trip to the planetarium, courtesy of my secret Santa.”</p><p>“OK,” Jim agreed, heading off to his room in a daze, leaving the weirdo humming to himself in the kitchen.</p><p>*~*~*~*~*</p><p>Jim was a genius for a reason. He could figure just about anything out. Unlike some genius', however, he was also good at reading people and figuring out problems taking the interactions and normal dramas of intelligent beings into account. He couldn't believe it took him so long to cotton on to what was going on with Leonard and Jocelyn.</p><p>By the time they arrived at the home of their parents, they were both grinning like loons.</p><p>*~*~*~*~*</p><p>“Leonard, I'm so glad to see you,” Mrs. Darnell was the first to greet him as they entered the house. “We were just discussing the happy news with your parents.”</p><p>“Well, that was really rude of you,” Leonard smiled much to the older lady's shock. “I hadn't told them anything yet and you go and run your mouth? Not a real surprise, though. You're a terrible gossip.”</p><p>“Now, young man...”</p><p>“Bradon, you're not going to chastise anyone in my home,” David quietly admonished Mr. Darnell before he could get started. “Leonard, Jim, come on into the family room and sit down. Leonard, I'm sure you had a good reason to wait to tell us we're going to be grandparents, and I'd love to hear it.”</p><p>“You'll hear everything, dad, just as soon as we're all settled.”</p><p>Everyone except Leonard sat on the sofas and chairs in the room. The Darnell's leaned back looking terribly smug, though Jocelyn was trying her best to look demure; his parents looked concerned, his mother maybe a little pale; Jim looked like the cat that ate the canary. Yes, he figured it out at some point on the way over, though they hadn't discussed it. Despite their lack of communication, they were in perfect sync, so when Leonard brought the medical scanner out of his pocket, Jim sat at the edge of his seat, ready to take part in the performance.</p><p>“Jim, could you tell me what this is?”</p><p>“Why, it's a state of the art medical scanner currently only available through Starfleet, specifically the one you received as your day two gift for the family secret Santa exchange.”</p><p>“Yes it is. And have you ever used it?”</p><p>“Yes, I used it this past Friday during an afternoon meeting with Ms. Jocelyn Darnell.”</p><p>“Jim, could you tell everyone your qualifications for using this device?”</p><p>“Sure. A five minute explanation from an anatomy professor at my university.”</p><p>“A five minute explanation,” Leonard drawled, making eye contact with everyone, doing his best not to laugh at his parents' identical expressions of fond exasperation towards his dramatics. “Do you not have any medical background to fall back on in this instance?”</p><p>“No,” Jim shook his head in exaggerated sadness.</p><p>“Was five minutes even long enough to learn how to do a simple pregnancy test?”</p><p>“No. It was long enough to teach me how to properly turn it on, get a consent scan, and read the scanner to let me know if the patient was indeed pregnant. The professor left it at the setting I needed.”</p><p>“I would like to submit that I have not changed the settings since Jim gave this back to me to prove that Jocelyn is indeed pregnant,” Leonard again addressed the room. “There are downloadable logs that can verify that. Now, Jocelyn, your thumb scan is in this device giving the user, who was recorded as Jim, consent to scan you. Do you agree with that statement?”</p><p>“Leonard, I do not know why you're being so weird, but if you need to play this game, I'll play. Yes, I agree with that statement. Jim asked me if he could scan me to prove to you that we're having a baby. absolutely gave my consent.”</p><p>“To any and all scans? Knowing he doesn't have a medical background and is unable to change any settings on this device?”</p><p>“Oh for... yes. I know Jim isn't a doctor, I had no idea of his level of competence with the scanner, but I didn't think that mattered. I know he's capable of pointing and clicking and that thing wouldn't hurt me or the baby even if he did use it wrong.”</p><p>“Just to make sure everything is on the up and up, can I have your consent to do the same scan that Jim did on Friday?”</p><p>“You most certainly can,” she smiled and stood up, let the scanner read her thumb print and waited two and half seconds for Leonard to pass the scanner over her. “See? Still pregnant.”</p><p>“Yes you are,” he agreed. “Congratulations. I hope you and whoever the father is are very happy.”</p><p>The room exploded. Jocelyn turned from smug to furious at warp speed, screeching a litany of 'what are you talking about's and 'how dare you's at him while her father demanded to know what he was talking about, her mother cried, his parents looked on in shock, and Jim was rolling around the love seat he had been sitting on in hysterical laughter. After a moment of basking in the chaos, Leonard put his fingers in his mouth and gave a loud, sharp, whistle.</p><p>“Let me explain,” he said, being back to mock serious. “Jim had no idea how to use this thing so he couldn't set it to just do a pregnancy test. The professor, probably having no idea exactly what he needed it for, though I'm sure they suspected, just put it in the basic prenatal diagnostic mode. Jocelyn was registered by the scanner as a new patient it hadn't scanned before AND a first time prenatal patient. If this were being used on a Starfleet vessel and she were a member of Starfleet, it would have instantly downloaded her base readings from the main database. But, it isn't linked to any database so it did ALL preliminary scans and stored ALL of her baseline readings, including DNA. That's the point of asking her to consent to any and all scans.</p><p>“Now, this little device took heart rate, and blood pressure of both mother and child while also measuring the child to get an approximate date of conception and due date. We'd do that in a civilian setting. What we wouldn't do, unless requested, is a paternity test. But, if you're out in space for who knows how long, the CMO of a Starfleet vessel needs to know a hell of lot more and they don't ask, I'm guessing. I don't know what goes on out there, but it must be pretty crazy, because this machine did a maternity test as well. Good news, Jocelyn, you're carrying your own child, not an alien parasite.</p><p>“The paternity test, however, comes up that the DNA is not present in the database. My DNA is most certainly in this little device. I even double checked to make sure it wasn't just experiencing a malfunction, but nope, that DNA is not mine. I'm not the father and I've never scanned him, so I can't tell you who is. What I can tell you is I'm done. Jocelyn, you have made my life a living hell recently and while I wish you the best, I don't want to see you ever again.”</p><p>“Well, that's that,” Mr. Darnell said with an air of embarrassment. He rose from his seat and met David halfway, shaking his hand. “I'm sorry we came in and caused such a ruckus, David. I wish this gathering had been a happier one.”</p><p>“Me too, Bradon,” he agreed. “I'm golfing next Saturday. Want to team up for pairs?”</p><p>“That sounds great. I'll see you then.”</p><p>“I just want to know who the father is,” Mrs. Darnell suddenly spoke up, much calmer and in control of<br/>
herself. Jocelyn turned watery eyes on everyone looking at her, but she didn't look like she was asking to be rescued. She looked... surprised. She wiped her tears away and gathered control of herself.</p><p>“I'm sorry, Leonard,” she sighed. “I honestly thought you were the father. It was two months ago, you and I were arguing again about Jim living with you and how I wanted us to get a place together. I was mad, I let Clay take me out to get drinks, and he and I both had one too many. We were both embarrassed the next morning and agreed to pretend it didn't happen.”</p><p>“Clay?” he repeated in disgust. “That moron from your office? So let me get this straight, you started accusing me of cheating, but in reality, you had been the one to cheat. Hell, you were probably accusing me because you felt guilty and if I were cheating, too... that's some psychology 101 bullshit right there that you fell into.”</p><p>“I know that now.”</p><p>“What really gets me is you trying to use your pregnancy to strong arm me into marrying you. You do not want to force a man to be your husband. You would have not liked the results.”</p><p>“I get it, OK? Mom, dad, I'd like to go.”</p><p>“I bet you would,” Mrs. Darnell agreed with a raised eyebrow. “So sorry, Eleanora. See you next week at the Pro Bajoran Defense Rally?”</p><p>“I'll be there!”</p><p>A very tense Darnell family left, leaving the McCoys to stare at each other in silence. The impasse was broken by David, who turned to his wife with a furrowed brow.</p><p>“You're actually going to that protest?”</p><p>“I helped organize it, if you'd pay attention,” she replied. “Those people are nothing by slaves to the Cardassians and the Federation needs to interfere. We've been arguing that the Prime Directive does not apply to species with warp technology that are engaging in slavery. Slavery is not cultural, it is a <br/>
crime against all intelligence. At the rate we're going, though, it'll be another hundred years before <br/>
anything is done.”</p><p>“You'll do it, ma,” Jim cheered. “Civil disobedience!”</p><p>“Well, the rebel over here made a peach cobbler,” David laughed. “Who wants some?”</p><p>“Oooh, is there ice cream?” Leonard asked.</p><p>“Peaches and cream,” Eleanora replied.</p><p>“Nice, we're going fancy today, no plain vanilla. Count Jim and me in!”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Day 14 - Magical</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A magical surprise</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This almost didn't get posted on time. It's a little rushed and a tad bit shorter.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“You about gave me a heart attack,” Eleanora said as she and David brought in scoops of cobbler with ice cream for the four of them to enjoy in the living room. “When were you planning on telling us if it had been yours?”</p><p>“Not like that, I promise,” Len said, then stuffed his mouth full.</p><p>“He really only found out the day before yesterday,” Jim explained, realizing that there was no way the other man was going to stop eating enough to talk. “And yesterday was spent processing it then dealing with Jocelyn and her attempt at a shotgun wedding.”</p><p>“Well, we can finally put all that behind us,” David said. “So, do you two have any plans for the rest of the day?”</p><p>“Actually, Bones' secret Santa gave him tickets to the planetarium and he's taking him with him.”</p><p>“Oh, that reminds me,” Eleanora suddenly said, jumping to her feet. She ran into the dining room, pulled something from a drawer in the buffet, and returned, handing an envelope to Jim. “Your secret Santa got you another gift.”</p><p>“Ha, and Bones thought he was the only one getting spoiled,” Jim laughed. Inside, was a note and a gift card to a swanky new restaurant that had recently opened up.</p><p>
  <em>Congratulations on your finals. You could use a night out. Actually, you could use a date night. Don't take just anyone with you, take that special someone you want some alone time with.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Secret Santa</em>
</p><p>“Hey, a gift card to that new place downtown,” he smiled, quickly hiding the note. He didn't want Leonard to see what was written. “You were saying you probably wouldn't eat there unless someone took you, so you should come with me, Bones.”</p><p>“Really?” he asked, a weird look crossing his face. “Are you sure?''</p><p>“Never been more sure in my life.”</p><p>*~*~*~*~*</p><p>Leonard didn't know how to behave at the planetarium. By the time they were leaned back in their large chairs, looking up at the domed ceiling, Leonard was far too distracted by the man beside him to pay any attention to the show.</p><p>He knew how Jim felt. If he had somehow still been in denial before, he couldn't be now. The trip to the zoo had been a date. He wouldn't admit it before, but he knew. Hell, he was holding his hand through most of it, and he'd started it! This, too, was clearly a date, and that restaurant... well, he didn't know when they would be going but he figured that would be their third date.</p><p>Was he even ready for that? He had just ended a long term relationship. Wasn't there a rule or something about how long one waited until they started dating again?</p><p>But, what if you just knew? What if the person you were thinking about was right for you and knew that. When Jim was younger, even just the last couple of years, he never would have thought about him that way. He was a little awkward and shy, but then, he just blossomed. He was shining and confident with a big heart.</p><p>Maybe it was too soon for Jim. He should definitely take that into account, Leonard thought. He was young and would want to explore his option, to date around and have fun, not settle down. Especially with someone like Leonard, who always felt about ten years older than he was.</p><p>But, looking at Jim as the lights from the show reflected in his eyes and made his face glow, he was likely too far gone anyhow.</p><p>And hell, he was holding his hand again.</p><p>*~*~*~*~*</p><p>When they said goodnight that night, Jim was on cloud nine. The only thing that could have made it perfect was if they had kissed goodnight. He had been tempted to, but they hadn't said anything about what was happening between them and Jim didn't want to lean in only to be stopped and told there was some misunderstanding. Plus, Bones had looked uncomfortable and bolted to his room right after the goodnight.</p><p>So Jim spent another night, staring at the ceiling, trying to get to sleep. Sleep, however, was a long time coming with how excited he was. It finally did, though, and once he was out, he was completely out, to the point that he didn't wake up when Leonard got up like he always did. No, he didn't wake up until Leonard was already gone for the day.</p><p>It was just as well. It gave him time to set up hi. surprise.</p><p>*~*~*~*~*</p><p>Leonard felt like a coward. He had literally snuck out of the apartment that day. With school no longer being in session, he knew Jim didn't have any classes and therefore wouldn't have his alarm turned on. </p><p>He also knew he tended to make enough noise in the kitchen to wake the dead, so he quietly drank his coffee, got dressed, and headed out to get breakfast.<br/>He spent the rest of the day distracted by thoughts of Jim when he wasn't with patients. He had to admit that the other man was causing him a lot of distraction lately. It was so bad, he was actually shocked it was time to leave.</p><p>He headed home, not knowing what to say to the other man or how to face him. He knew he had to say something, but he just didn't know what. Part of him just wanted to see how things would play out, but he didn't want to make a mistake that might get one of them hurt, and not clarifying where they stood could easily be a big mistake. But what if he misunderstood where they stood? What if Jim's feelings weren't romantic. Hell, what if HIS weren't really what he thought and Jim ended up being a rebound? </p><p>He couldn't do that to him.</p><p>It turned out, however, that that wasn't a problem he had to face right then, because Jim wasn't home when he got home from work. Instead what he saw was another note in the middle of the table, Just like many of his secret Santa notes had. He couldn't believe it. He had actually forgotten all about getting another gift that day.</p><p>
  <em>Day fourteen is Magical. That can mean so many things, though, can't it? The way you smile when you're happy, the amount of food you can pack away after an adrenaline rush – but maybe that's not the kind of magical you need right now. Your gift is a magical experience, just for you, in your own personal space. Go to your room, lay on your bed, and put you hand on the sensor now laying on your night stand and enjoy the magic.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Love, </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Your Secret Santa</em>
</p><p>Curious, Leonard put the note down and walked into his room. There, on his left hand night stand was indeed a new device. An almost round metal disk with a sensor in the middle of it. With some trepidation, he did as the note instructed and lay down on the bed and placed his hand on the sensor. The room around him grew dim, took on a bluish hue, stars appeared on his ceiling, and it started snowing.</p><p>He stared in awe. A hologram was projected over the room, obscuring everything except his bed and side tables. It was as if his bed was in the middle of a field with the stars shinning above and snow falling all around. If, of course, wasn't cold, but he found himself feeling phantom chills and crawled under the soft blue blanket he had received before.</p><p>As he lay there and watched the snow fall all around him, he knew that even though his Santa said the magic was just for him, he wanted to share it with Jim.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Day 15 - Prickly</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Day 15 is Prickly</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'll just answer all of the comments on the last chapter here - I want one too! Man I wish LoL. It will featuring again towards the end of the story.</p>
<p>This chapter is a tad bit late. I apologize. I work retail though and my hours have increased plus we're a person down right now, so that will probably happen again. It's also another shorter chapter but that's because all the Jocelyn drama is over, but we're about to get into more Jim and Bones drama so that should fix that 😆</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jim didn't see Leonard's reaction to the gift from the day before. He had started having doubts again and had worked himself up into a tizzy. The entire point of what he was doing was to get Leonard to enjoy being spoiled and taken care of by his secret Santa only to pop out at the Christmas party with 'surprise, it was me, and I can love you all year long, not just during the holidays!' But because of everything he saw the other man go through with Jocelyn, he wasn't sure if he was doing the right thing anymore.<br/>
</p>
<p>Maybe he was pushing too hard, asking for too much, too soon. Never mind that every time they held hands it had been Leonard who initiated it, that Leonard seemed to be looking at him differently, and he wasn't talking about falling for some unknown gift giver that he would still assume was family. No, he had been turning to real life Jim. It was everything he had hoped for and more, really, but now that the had it...<br/>
</p>
<p>Isn't that how it goes, though? he thought. You don't necessarily know what you want until you got it, and in this case he may have gotten more than either man was ready for. Because, was he really ready?<br/>
Leonard was so intense and he knew he'd only be interested in a real relationship, which Jim wouldn't want him for anything else... but was he ready for a real relationship? He had thought so with Ruth, but she was a prime example of falling too hard and too fast. He had a reputation of 'easy,' but had really only been with a handful of people and he had loved every single last one of them.<br/>
</p>
<p>He shook his head and did his best to get a grip on himself. Of course this was what he wanted. He was only having these doubts because he saw how disastrous Leonard's relationship with Jocelyn had been, but he wasn't Jocelyn and he would never act that way.<br/>
</p>
<p>He pulled himself out of bed, again after Leonard had already left for work, but this time by his own design, and set up the next gift. He had a few errands to run that day, but he would be home by the time other man was there to receive it and he was going to face his feelings, once and for all.<br/>
</p>
<p>*~*~*~*~*<br/>
</p>
<p>Leonard wasn't sure if he wanted Jim to be home or not. He hadn't seen him all day yesterday and most of that day as well. He was still indecisive when he got home to find Jim sitting on the sofa, watching the weather station, looking as tense as he felt.<br/>
</p>
<p>“Hey, Bones!” he called out in greeting, then winced at his over enthusiastic volume.<br/>
</p>
<p>And just like that, Len relaxed. It was just Jim. Whatever was happening between them was going to be fine, because if he could trust anyone it was Jim Kirk.<br/>
</p>
<p>“Heya, kid,” he smiled. “What have you been up to today?”<br/>
</p>
<p>“Oh, you know, a little light housecleaning, some errands, the usual.”<br/>
</p>
<p>“So a whole lot of nothing. Well, the semester did just end. You deserve a break. And you better enjoy these little breaks while you can. Once you graduate and get a job, that's over.”<br/>
</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Jim laughed a little self consciously. “Oh, you got another secret Santa gift today. It's on the table.”<br/>
</p>
<p>“Nothing I have to turn on or hunt down?” he asked as he headed into the dining room, only to stop short and frown. Sitting in the middle of the table, next to the usual note, was a medium sized pot with a cactus in it.<br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I admit I stumped myself with today's gift – prickly. There just aren't many wonderful things out there that are prickly, other than you. So, here's a companion for your prickly personality, and a reminder that you should never change. Even cacti bloom. (Plus, it's harder to kill than the other plants you've tried to keep. You're much better with mammals.) </em><br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Love,</em><br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Your Secret Santa</em><br/>
</p>
<p>“Now how does my damn secret Santa know I'm terrible with plants?” he groused.<br/>
</p>
<p>“Um, the whole family knows,” Jim reminded him. “We've gotten hours of amusing anecdotes from all of your failed attempts at horticulture. Do me a favor, don't make this another one. I can imagine how I would start the story – The Man Who Could Kill A Cactus.”<br/>
</p>
<p>“Are all the stories about my gardening titled?”<br/>
</p>
<p>“Yes. We have The Man Who Over Watered the Tomatoes, The Man Who Grew an Amazing Cucumber Vine – But No Cucumbers, The Man Who Under Watered the Watermelons...<br/>
</p>
<p>“I forgot I planted them around the back of the shed.”<br/>
</p>
<p>“...and my personal favorite, The Man Who Accidentally Cross Pollinated a Bell Pepper with a Cayenne Pepper. You see, that starts out with you thinking it's going to be your only success story, but then there's the twist ending. You manage to kill both plants.”<br/>
</p>
<p>“I hate you all.”<br/>
</p>
<p>“No you don't.”<br/>
</p>
<p>“Yeah, I think I do.”<br/>
</p>
<p>“Maybe you should leave that in here so I can monitor it.”<br/>
</p>
<p>“I'm going to my room and I'm taking Mr. Prickles with me.”<br/>
</p>
<p>“You named it!? Bones! You'll just be sad when you kill it!”<br/>
</p>
<p>*~*~*~*~*<br/>
</p>
<p>That didn't go exactly how Jim had wanted it to, but he was satisfied with the results. He had gotten himself so worked up over the idea of admitting his feelings that he had made things really awkward and tense for a moment there. Thankfully, they seemed to be back to their normal banter. So what if he didn't tell him how he felt and find out if they were on the same page like he thought (hoped) they might be. There was time to ease into something. After all, this was supposed to be a love confession on the day. He was really jumping the gun by trying to say something this soon.
</p>
<p> He sighed and flicked off the holo vid. It wasn't like he was watching it anyhow. He pulled out the gift card to the restaurant his own secret Santa had given him and tilted it so a small holo display popped up, revealing it was good for two meals, a shared dessert, and a nice bottle of wine. This was definitely meant for a date, just like the note said, especially since he planned on taking him that Saturday. He didn't know if he hoped Bones would realize that or not.
</p>
<p>He tucked it away again and headed off to bed. It was only Tuesday. The week was already dragging by too slowly.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Day 16 - Angelic</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Day 16 is Angelic and the gift causes Bones to he just a tad suspicious.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jim dashed out of the apartment the next morning, yelling a good morning and have a good day to Leonard as he zipped past him. He had promised Eleanora that they would get an early start and he had already jeopardized that by sleeping in again. He really needed to get back on a better schedule.</p><p>“Why are you so out of breath?” Eleanora asked as he came barreling through the door right on time.  “You were almost late, weren't you?”</p><p>“Yes ma'am.”</p><p>“Well, you didn't have to rush, I would have waited. Did you even stop to eat?”</p><p>“Um...”</p><p>“Go find something in the kitchen and get back out here. We've got some wrapping to do before we go run our errands.”</p><p>“Yes ma'am.”</p><p>Jim ended up just scarfing down a granola bar and a glass of milk before rejoining her in the dining room. On the table were two piles of gifts and several types of paper and ribbon.</p><p>“You know,” he said, “you could always program the replicator to...”</p><p>“Absolutely not,” she interrupted him. “Here, you wrap Leonard's while I wrap David's.”</p><p>“Cool. So which one of us is wrapping mine?”</p><p>“I already did those, you cheeky monster.”</p><p>“Hey, I had to try.”</p><p>Eleanora laughed before turning to her pile and beginning to wrap. They worked in silence for awhile, but Jim had known that wouldn't last.</p><p>“How are things going with Leonard?” she finally asked.</p><p>“Oh, fine. Though I don't think he found the cactus very funny. He named it Mr. Prickles.”</p><p>“Oh dear. You better keep an eye on that poor plant. He's just going to be devastated if he manages to kill it off too if he's already attached enough to name it.”</p><p>“I told him not to, but he doesn't listen to me. I left a reminder on his calendar about when to water it so maybe he won't over do it.”</p><p>“Good. Now, I wasn't asking about his gifts and you know it. How are YOU and Leonard doing?”</p><p>“Same old same old,” Jim shrugged. “He seems more affectionate but I haven't been able to broach the subject about us dating. You know, about how much I think we already ARE dating. I probably should just wait until the party, anyhow. That was always my plan. To tell him how I feel with the final gift.  It's too early to do that now.”</p><p>“You don't need to go all out right now, but talk about being a bit more than friends. The gift at the party is supposed to show how serious you are. You can be dating and it still be a surprise to find out exactly how much he means to you.”</p><p>“Yeah, I guess.”</p><p>“Now, come on kiddo. Help me get these under the tree so we can head out. I'll even let you shake one of yours.”</p><p>“OK!”</p><p>*~*~*~*~*</p><p>The secret Santa errands didn't take long, being only two present drop offs, but Eleanora always loved showing off her boys so Jim ended up at the dry cleaners, her women's auxiliary headquarters (aka The Legion of Anti-Establishment Rebels (“Jim, stop making us sound like terrorists.”)), the place where she liked to get her nails done (which took longer than she expected because he decided to get a manicure and she only needed a touch up) and finally her favorite cafe for lunch.</p><p>By the time they got back to the parental home, he was feeling relaxed and hadn't thought once about his drama with Leonard. </p><p>“Oh, there's a comm we missed,” Eleanora sighed as they came in. “It didn't ping the mobile. Go check that, Jim, would you?”</p><p>“Sure, ma,” he turned on the house comm and smiled, placed a few commands and pulled a data chip from it. “It wasn't a call but a prerecorded message from mom. She's not in range right now and sent it yesterday. She said she figured it was safer to send here than at my place. It's a message for Len for <br/>today's gift.”</p><p>“Just in time, too, it's getting close to when they'll be done, provided nothing comes up.”</p><p>“Yep, better get back and set this up for him. I'll see you later ma, love you.”</p><p>“Love you, too,” she smiled, accepting the kiss he planted on her cheek. As usual, it was as wet as he could make it.</p><p>He was good kid; a gross kid, but a good one, she thought as she shook her head wiped her face off. </p><p>*~*~*~*~*</p><p>“So, where's my present?” Leonard grinned from the sofa when Jim walked in. </p><p>Jim, for his part, nearly jumped out of his skin. </p><p>“What are you doing already here?”</p><p>“We got done early so dad dropped me instead of me taking a transport.”</p><p>Just then, Jim's comm beeped and he pulled it out to see it was a message from Eleanora warning him that they got done early. Jim rolled his eyes, sent a quick thanks for the warning, and pocketed it again.</p><p>“So?” Leonard prompted, a shit eating grin on his face. “Where's my present?”</p><p>“Here's a message for you, you bastard,” Jim said, throwing the data chip at him and getting a mean satisfaction over watching him nearly fumble it. “I'll go get the rest.”</p><p>While Jim disappeared into his room, Leonard, confused, popped the data chip into their wall comm and watch the screen light up with first a Starfleet logo, and then Aunt Winona's smiling face.</p><p>
  <em>“Hi, Leonard! I know you're surprised to get a message from me, but Jim contacted me on behalf of your Secret Santa and I was able to get a handful of unique gifts for days that had them a little stumped. You're a very special young man, Leonard. I've always been grateful that my boys could grow up in a family that is as close as yours. You've been a great friend and big brother to Sam, and now that he's older, a wonderful friend to Jim. You're unique, and your Secret Santa is right, you deserve unique gifts that show how much you're loved. Happy holidays.”</em>
</p><p>When he looked up, Jim was standing over him holding a gift and a note. Leonard looked a little misty eyed.</p><p>“You OK there, Bones?” he asked.</p><p>“Yeah, I'm fine. That was a really nice message from Aunt Winona. I'll have to call her soon.”</p><p>He took the letter from Jim and unfolded it, not sure if he could handle anymore emotional messages.</p><p>
  <em>Today, day sixteen, is extra special. It's Angelic. Many cultures have lore about winged beings of light </em>
  <em>who have helped save someone either directly or indirectly, even here on Earth. Maybe these stories </em>
  <em>are really about people like you, who swoop in to save the day when all hope seems to be lost.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You may not have wings, and definitely not a halo, but you are an angel.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Love,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Your Secret Santa</em>
</p><p>“I didn't get a chance to wrap it,” Jim said quietly as he handed him a clear cube.</p><p>*~*~*~*~*</p><p>Leonard stared at the object suspended inside the cube. It was white, almost transparent. It was a flower. He could tell that's that what it was, but the stamen almost looked like a figure wearing a gown and the petals dripped down from it, like wings at rest. It looked like an angel.</p><p>“It's from Cignus XII,” Jim continued. “It's actually a fossil. They think the flower itself is extinct. The scientists call it an Angel Flower. Mom said that they're found in a layer on the planet that points to the fossils being only about two thousand years old, and they are in every sample of taken of that layer, no matter where on the planet. They've found billions of them. She said that at one point in the planet's history, almost if not the entire surface must have been covered in them.”</p><p>“It must have been beautiful.”</p><p>“Yeah, but not sustainable, so their existence would have been fleeting.”</p><p>“Why didn't my secret Santa wrap it? Why would you have to do it?”</p><p>“Oh,” Jim stammered, clearly caught out. Leonard was able to catch the red flush creep up his neck and around his ears before staining his cheeks. Beautiful, he caught himself thinking. “They didn't have time, so asked me to. Guess I didn't have time, either.”</p><p>“Thanks, Jim,” Leonard said as he stood and drew the other man into a hug. He held him differently than usual, one hand cupping the back of the blond head, the other resting at the small of his back and caressing him. “Thank you for working so hard to deliver all these gifts. I appreciate it,” he whispered into his ear, then kissed him right in front of that ear with a touch so light it could be barely felt, before releasing him and heading into his room, not looking back.</p><p>He didn't know for sure, he wouldn't know for sure until the Christmas party unless Jim broke down and confessed, but he was pretty damn certain that Jim was his secret Santa, and he was working on seducing him. </p><p>Leonard would be lying if he said it wasn't working.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Tomorrow: we begin to earn the rating, but I'm warning you to not get your hopes up. Bones is frustrating the hell out of Jim.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Day 17 - Snowy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Day 17 is Snowy and Leonard's gift is sweet but simple. But first, it seems something has shifter between the boys.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jim stood in stunned silence, staring at the door Bones had just disappeared behind. The way he had been held, and was that a kiss? Had he kissed him? He wasn't sure, the touch had been feather light. His dick wasn't confused, though. It knew exactly what it thought that was.</p><p>Painfully hard, Jim pulled his pants open to relieve some of the pressure before he even got into his room. Once the door was closed and locked behind him, he stripped down completely and lay on his bed, knees falling open and hands wandering over his torso.</p><p>He couldn't believe how incredibly turned on he was. He was so far gone he was panting as if he'd run a marathon. The phantom feel of those hands still on him, imagining if the caress hadn't stopped at his back but traveled, down... Jim moaned and pinched one hard nipple, rolling the small nub between his finger and thumb. His other hand he allowed to drift down his chest, stroke his abdomen, before brushing the wet head of his cock. He had to bite his lips to keep from moaning any louder.</p><p>After that, he didn't tease himself. He took his hard-on firmly in hand, the copious amount of precum from thinking of Leonard's mouth pressed to his ear, trailing across his face, kissing him properly, provided more than enough to slick the way as he began to furiously stroke himself. It didn't take long before he was coming in sticky stripes across his stomach and chest, Leonard's name on his lips.</p><p>After a quick clean up with his abandoned shirt, he crawled under the covers and sunk into a fitful sleep, wholly unsatisfied.</p><p>*~*~*~*~*</p><p>Leonard, on the other hand, was taking his time with himself, enacting a specific fantasy he didn't even know he had until that moment. He took off his clothes, carefully folding them and put them on his desk. Then he got extra pillows and blankets from his closet and piled and arranged them on his bed just so, making a small hill he could slot his hips over as if a lover lay beneath him. From his bedside drawer, he pulled out lube and a much loved cocksleeve, one that had been designed to imitate a tight anal passage. While not virginal, it was firm in its hold of him but would give easily as he pressed in. </p><p>Finally, he was ready. He slicked up his secret pride and joy – a cock long and thick enough to give every partner he'd ever had pause – positioned the sleeve in the mound just right, and with the image of Jim laying on his bed, ass turned up, legs spread, and his pretty blushing face looking at him over his shoulder, he pushed in, slowly fucking the sleeve like a lover.</p><p>Once he got a good rhythm, he folded himself over as if he was laying on Jim's back, imagining he was burying his face in the other man's neck where he would kiss and suck his skin until he left his mark on him. He imagined the way Jim might sound as he moaned his name and wondered if Jim was masturbating just next door, wishing their walls weren't so sound proof so he could hear him.</p><p>He picked up his pace, enjoying the squelch of his large cock sliding in and out of the lubed toy and imagined Jim crying out as he took him deeper and deeper.</p><p>“That's it, baby,” he whispered, pretending he was speaking into Jim's ear again. “You're taking me so <br/>good. Bet you'll take my load real good, too. That tight little ass of yours is hungry for a good load of cum, isn't it? Fuck, Jim.”</p><p>His hips stuttered and he came so hard he nearly blacked out. Exhausted, he kicked the extra blankets and pillows off the bed, quickly popped the toy into it's cleaning unit, and snuggled under his blanket to sleep. </p><p>Unlike Jim, he slept the sleep of the fully satisfied.</p><p>*~*~*~*~*</p><p>Jim was yawning over his breakfast when Leonard left his room the next morning, whistling something unrecognizable. </p><p>“Why are you up so early?” Len asked as he poured a cup of coffee and began to fix his own breakfast.</p><p>“Trying to get myself set back on a normal schedule. You seem chipper.”</p><p>“Slept like a baby,” he smiled. “You'll be alright. The first night or two is always the hardest. I didn't think you'd bother this first week, though.”</p><p>“Yeah, well, the whole secret Santa thing is keeping me busier than I thought it would. I need to already be on a normal schedule just so I can run errands.”</p><p>“Speaking of...”</p><p>“Yeah, yeah, it's right where it normally is.”</p><p>“OK, just making sure you're OK with me grabbing it.”</p><p>“When have I ever stopped you?”</p><p>“Never, but you're kind of cranky right now.”</p><p>Leonard ignored Jim's death glare and picked up the note.</p><p>
  <em>Today is Snowy. I do respect that you're a traditional sort of guy, the kind that can be a bit old </em>
  <em>fashioned and like to take things slow. So for today, here's a traditional gift.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Love,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Your Secret Santa</em>
</p><p>Inside the package was a snow globe. It depicted a little house covered in decorations, a tree in its front yard with a tire swing and two little kids lobbing snowballs at each other. Off to the side was a snowman. When Leonard shook it, it began to snow, much to his delight.</p><p>“Nothing fancy today, it seems,” Jim commented.</p><p>“Doesn't need to be,” Len smiled. “This is perfect.”</p><p>They both finished their breakfasts, then Len got up, took care of both sets of dishes and come back to stand behind Jim. He placed his hands on the the other man's shoulders and began rubbing them while he leaned down to be close to his head.</p><p>“I've got to get going,” he said as if he was doing nothing out of the ordinary. “Be a good little helper <br/>today.”</p><p>And then he kissed him on top of the head. There was no denying it that time, it had been a good, solid press of lips to the crown of his head. By the time Jim was able to react, though, Leonard was gone. He huffed an aggravated sigh and looked down at his lap.</p><p>“You, stay down. I don't have time to deal with you right now,” he chastised his dick.</p><p>*~*~*~*~*</p><p>“What you got there, son?” David asked when Leonard waltzed into work that day, his snow globe in hand.</p><p>“Today's secret Santa gift,” he smiled. “I'm going to put it on my desk.”</p><p>“Does it spin, shoot laser beams, all while playing music?”</p><p>“Haha, no. It's an ordinary snow globe.”</p><p>“Well, good. Now hurry up, you're running late. You're first patient is already here.”</p><p>“Alright, alright.”</p><p>Leonard placed his snow globe just right on his desk then got to work. Once he was finally at a point where he could take a break, he sat down at his desk and thought of Jim.</p><p>He'd been hesitant at first to start anything with him because he was just getting out of a serious relationship and he didn't think Jim was actually ready for anything serious either. But he didn't really know what Jim was thinking in terms of seriousness. Maybe he was reading the young man wrong and this was pure lust. Or maybe he didn't know himself and the only way to really figure out if it was love or lust was to fall into bed with him and see how he felt afterwards. That was a dangerous game, but one Leonard was now thinking he was willing to play.</p><p>Maybe that was exactly what both of them needed. He needed a rebound, Jim needed a good lay to realize it was just a crush, and they could be fuck buddies for awhile. He was definitely going to make sure it was a good lay. He would have Jim spread out, begging for it, then screaming as he plowed him...</p><p>He really needed to stop thinking like that or he was going to be in a very undignified position. Those thoughts brought another concern to the forefront, though... how experienced was Jim? He had made it clear he had bottomed, even if it was to a girl with a strap on. That could be rougher than the real thing. But how big of a strap on? He knew which girl Jim was talking about, but there was no way he was going to ask her.</p><p>A plan was formulating in his mind. One that could, potentially, give him the answers he needed or cause him a great deal of humiliation. Either way, Jim would know what he was in for.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Day 18 - Cheerful</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Day 18 is Cheerful and there's more to be cheerful about than just his gift.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Yesterday's chapter was brought to by frustrated characters and me losing control over the story.  Today's is brought to you by me wrestling control back lol.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Leonard was in the bathroom the next morning attempting to enact his brilliant plan... but there was a problem. He was rethinking it.</p>
<p>The original idea was to gauge Jim's reaction and to give him a 'preview' but he'd had the rest of the evening before and over night to reevaluate his intentions. He wasn't sure what he was feeling, but he realized it was more serious than a rebound. He didn't know what exactly Jim was feeling, but he decided he had probably been fooling himself if he thought it was was just lust. The most important point, though? He respected Jim, and himself, too much to behave the way he was.</p>
<p>“Damn it, Leonard, you're an idiot,” he muttered to himself as he dried off and got dressed. “You turned into a horny pervert, didn't you? You've never acted this way with anyone, treating them like a piece of meat. Acting like YOU'RE a piece of meat. Get it together man, you're better than that.”</p>
<p>So, instead of walking out after his shower naked, toweling off his hair, and pretending he hadn't realized Jim was still there, he left the bathroom dressed, as usual.</p>
<p>“Hey, Bones,” Jim greeted him from the kitchen. “Sleep OK?”</p>
<p>"You wanna go out some time?” Leonard blurted. What the hell, he thought, staring at Jim wide eyed. What was that? I went from one stupid thing to another. Might as well have passed him a note that said 'Do you like me? Check Yes or No.'</p>
<p>“Um, I guess?” Jim replied, clearly confused. “You mean like grocery shopping? Getting lunch? I'm not doing much right now, being on break, getting out would be good.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, yeah, great,” Leonard nodded, then disappeared into his room to get dressed.</p>
<p>He took his time, trying get himself under control. He took several deep breaths until he felt his face return to a normal color, knowing he didn't look near as cute as Jim when he blushed. Finally, when he couldn't stall any longer or risk being late for work, he left the safety of his room.</p>
<p>“Hey, Bones, don't forget today's present!” Jim called as he attempted to run out the door.</p>
<p>He backtracked and, with out making eye contact with Jim, grabbed the note and package and headed to the door.</p>
<p>“See ya later,” he tossed over his shoulder.</p>
<p>Maybe by the time he got home that evening he could look Jim in the face again.</p>
<p>*~*~*~*~*</p>
<p>Jim shook his head as he watched Leonard practically run out the door. He was usually a bit more with in the morning. Maybe he'd had a rough night sleeping. He'd been acting weird the past couple of days. Originally Jim had wondered if maybe he was getting that Jim had romantic feelings for him but now he wondered if the other man was coming down with something.</p>
<p>Jim's eyes grew wide as his brain screeched to a halt before restarting and running overtime. He deliberately swallowed the coffee in his mouth and put the cup of hot liquid down on the counter before he spilled it on himself. Once safe, he reacted, jumping up and down, gripping his hair, and growling.</p>
<p>“Stupid, stupid, stupid!” he yelled at himself. “You mean the grocery store, or a movie or something? You idiot!”</p>
<p>He ran to the door, out, and leaned over the railing, scanning up and down the street, but Leonard was of course long gone. The target of his affections, maybe even the love of his life, asked him out and he was too stupid to understand. Bones probably thought he really wasn't interested in dating him, now. How stupid could he be? Well, that just meant he needed to fix this, now.</p>
<p>He ran back inside, pulled out his comm and tried calling. Unfortunately, it was ignored. Jim cursed, but wasn't really surprised. Fine, he thought, I'll text.</p>
<p>*~*~*~*~*</p>
<p>Leonard didn't know how much humiliation he could take. He had put himself out there, on accident, sure, and was... rejected? He didn't know what that was. Jim probably purposefully acting obtuse in an attempt to keep it from totally ruining their relationship. When his comm notified him Jim was calling, he ignored it, hoping the younger man wasn't just calling to say he changed his mind and wanted to make certain that Leonard knew he wasn't interested. He was unwilling to find out for sure.</p>
<p>How could he have so misread the situation? The minute he got to work he was submitting himself for a full exam. Clearly he was having some type of break down and if he was lucky it was being caused by a weird virus and not a mental disorder. Maybe he would need confinement. Maybe they'd name it after him.</p>
<p>For once, he was actually the first one to arrive. He opened the door, grateful not to have to interact with his father right away, and went straight back to his office. He sat for a moment with his face in his hands before he finally looked up, trying to get himself mentally ready for the day. The first thing he saw was his snow globe, and he couldn't help but smile. He really did like that thing. He opened his briefcase and pulled out the package and note he had snatched up that morning, hoping they would distract him.</p>
<p>
  <em>Today I needed to give you something Cheerful. This one's great, because I always like seeing you smile and I'm more than happy to give you something that will bring a smile to your face. I hope family does that for you, because that's what I'm giving you – your family.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Love, </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Your secret Santa</em>
</p>
<p>Leonard had learned early on not to get too confused or try to interpret the notes. He just opened it and pulled out a digital frame. It wasn't the newer, fancier holo frame that displayed special pictures in three dimensions, but that made sense considering his parents didn't take those type of pictures, and just seeing the frame helped him understand what his Santa meant by giving him his family. No, they still preferred two dimensional still photography like many people.</p>
<p>He turned it on and it started cycling through pictures as early as his parents' wedding day to as recent as him and Jim in their new apartment. He smiled and instantly felt calmer. Leaving it on, he stood and found a place on the wall he wanted to hang it and placed it there by activating the frame's auto sealer. He stood back and watched it cycle through again.</p>
<p>Steeling his nerves, he pulled out his comm to see if Jim had left a message. He hadn't, but he had sent a text. Leonard resigned himself to reading it and accepting the consequences of his foolish outburst that morning. At least he hadn't gotten naked. He'd never have survived that.</p>
<p>It turned out, the message wasn't a rejection, and if left Leonard light headed with relief.</p>
<p>Jim: <em>I am such an idiot! Yes, I want to go out with you sometime! Actually, I want you to go to dinner with me Saturday night. I was too embarrassed to admit it at the time, but when I asked you to go with me to that new restaurant, that was meant to be a date. Hope you still want to go. I'm going to hit send now before I over think this.</em></p>
<p>Leonard figured Jim was probably freaking out himself, considering how long the message had been sitting there without a reply. Well, he was tired of them dancing around this thing between them and them both clearly second guessing what was going on.</p>
<p>Bones: <em>You're damn right I still want to go. I'm glad you got what I meant, thought I fucked that up royally. Saturday sounds great. Looking forward to our first date.</em></p>
<p>It was only moments before his comm signaled that Jim had replied. He laughed when he saw the reply.</p>
<p>Jim: <em>Maybe first official-we're-calling-it-that date, but I've never held hands with someone I was just hanging with.</em></p>
<p>Bones: <em>Really? I've been doing it all wrong, then ;)</em></p>
<p>Jim: <em>XD</em></p>
<p>Leonard spent the rest of the day in giddy disbelief. He was also a bundle of nerves. He had no idea how he was going to handle going home that night to Jim being there. Everything had just changed.</p>
<p>*~*~*~*~*</p>
<p>When he got home, it to was Jim pacing the living room.</p>
<p>“So, I was thinking,” he said the minute the door closed behind Len. “We should just carry on like everything is just the same. Interact with each other like nothing is new. After all, we've been on two dates already, even if we didn't call them that, and came home and didn't act any different than roommates except you got a little handsy a couple of times, so I think we could still do that, at least until after tomorrow and that date. Our third date? Damn, it's our third date, Bones, I mmmphh”</p>
<p>Leonard was in complete shock. Once again, he had lost control and did something without thinking it through. In his defense, though, Jim was babbling, and he HAD often wondered if kissing him would be an effective way of shutting Jim Kirk up.</p>
<p>It sure as hell was a nice way, he thought as he wrapped his arms around his waist and Jim went limp and pliant in his arms, tilting his head and opening his mouth to Leonard's tongue. By the time Leonard decided he had done exactly the right thing and was considering moving them to the sofa for an epic make out session, Jim was pulling back and out of his arms.</p>
<p>“Oh, I just remembered! I have to meet some friends tonight but I can't wait until tomorrow! See ya Bones!”</p>
<p>And he was out the door, leaving Leonard standing in the middle of their living room dumbfounded. He sat on the sofa with a thud and dropped his face into his hand again.</p>
<p>“You idiot,” he chastised himself, then started laughing hysterically.</p>
<p>*~*~*~*~*</p>
<p>Jim hopped on the first transport, not even caring where it was heading. He had bolted like a coward, but for once he was OK with that. Leonard had kissed him, and he couldn't control the grin on his face.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Day 19 - Starry</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>For day 19 it's something Starry, and it's also their first official date.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Amazingly, Jim was actually home, leaning against the counter with a cup of coffee like nothing had happened, when Leonard woke up the next morning. Deciding to play along, he made a bee line to the coffee maker as usual and poured himself a cup with a muttered good morning to his roommate.</p><p>“What's on your agenda today?” he asked the younger man while they studiously avoided each other's eyes.</p><p>“Got to help ma again this morning, then I'm free until this evening.”</p><p>“Oh?” Leonard asked with exaggerated nonchalance.</p><p>“What's going on this evening?”</p><p>Jim did make eye contact then, glaring at him with a put upon frown. Leonard couldn't maintain his blank look for long, ending up cracking a smile before outright laughing.</p><p>“Sorry, I'm just messing with you. I'll be ready. What time?”</p><p>“I was able to get reservations for eight. I know it's a little later than we normally eat, but it was that or make them for next weekend.”</p><p>“Eight is fine. I'll be ready by seven so you can tell me if I'm dressed alright.”</p><p>“Why would I need to do that?” Jim asked, truly perplexed.</p><p>Leonard stared at him, his mind suddenly conjuring up images of Jocelyn criticizing every outfit he ever chose and Jim.. just looking at him with his head tilted in the most adorable...</p><p>“Don't run off,” Leonard said before he leaned in kissed him softly on the mouth. “OK, I haven't done any of my Christmas shopping. I'm getting ready and going. I'll see you tonight.”</p><p>The last thing Leonard heard as he walked into his room was Jim saying to himself “What was that?”</p><p>*~*~*~*~*</p><p>OK, so this was a new thing they were doing, Jim thought as Leonard gave him a quick kiss before dashing out the door with a wink. Kiss and don't talk about it. OK then. That wasn't going to make him lose his mind or nothing.</p><p>Jim pulled himself together and got ready to start his day. He knew it was going to drag because he was going to spend the day thinking of nothing but their date that night.</p><p>*~*~*~*~*</p><p>Leonard's day absolutely dragged. All he could think about was Jim. It was alarming the way the other man was filling his thoughts. Smiling blue eyes; full, soft lips. The way he smiled, the sound of his laughter. The way it felt to kiss him. He was falling fast and hard and he wasn't sure he was going to be able to put on the breaks.</p><p>When he arrived home, he noticed that his daily gift was waiting for him, but he was more anxious to start getting ready than to open his present. He bypassed the table, heading into the bathroom and <br/>getting a quick shower before going to his room to fret over his outfit. </p><p>In the end, he didn't have much to fret over. The type of restaurant it was didn't allow for much in the way of casual. The only way he'd be over doing it is if he went with a tux. He decided to do traditional black and white, but with a white dinner jacket over a white shirt. He tied his black bow tie and looked at himself long and hard in the mirror.</p><p>“Damn it,” he muttered and went to reach for a black jacket instead when he was stopped by the sound of Jim calling him.</p><p>“Are you ready?” he heard through his door, and damn if the kid didn't sound as nervous as he felt.</p><p>“Yeah, be out in a sec,” he responded, gave himself another quick check in the mirror and left his room to join Jim in the living room.</p><p>When he saw him, he nearly stopped breathing. Jim looked amazing. He was in a black suit, but with a red shirt. As much as Leonard liked him in blue, he loved him in red. Of course, he was beginning to suspect that he'd like any color on the younger man.</p><p>“You look great,” Jim said quietly, his face flushing a little, before he got a hold of himself and pasted on his winning smile. “You didn't open up your gift.”</p><p>“I was planning on doing it before we left,” Leonard said, only just then making that decision, and reached out to take it.</p><p>
  <em>Today I wanted to give you something Starry. What's more starry than a star? Well, maybe making you a star.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Love,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Your Secret Santa</em>
</p><p>He opened up the flat package to find an official document with Starfleet's logo on the top giving a detailed description of the location of a yellow star recently charted by the USS Eisenhower. The star had been officially named L.H. McCoy-297. </p><p>He stared in disbelief. Civilians could name a star after someone in the Star Registry, but those were distant stars they were unlikely to visit in the next hundred years or more, not unless they figured out a way to travel that was faster than warp. No, this was different. This was a star that a science team had studied, that may have planets capable of sustaining life.</p><p>“Isn't your mother on the Eisenhower?”</p><p>“Yes,” Jim rolled his eyes. “She's really getting into this whole secret Santa thing.”</p><p>“I'd say she is. This is amazing.”</p><p>“I'll be sure to let them know you like it. OK, let's go, we don't want to be late!”</p><p>*~*~*~*~*</p><p>The place was so upscale it was down right stuffy. Jim nervously twirled his... shrimp fork? There were three forks. He knew how to do this, he just had never voluntarily done it before. But, his own secret Santa thought he'd enjoy it, and he really wanted to take Leonard somewhere nice, and Leonard looked perfectly relaxed, perusing the menu, sitting as if he was born to wear a suit.</p><p>Maybe he was. Maybe it was only Jim that didn't belong. Sure, they had been raised by the same family, but Jim's DNA was most likely substandard compared to Leonard's. He'd never heard any stories of David and Eleanora that were even the least bit untoward, despite Eleanora's currently extracurricular activities. Even those hadn't gone beyond giving speeches and holding signs. </p><p>Jim's family, on the other hand... there was dozens of stories about his dad and all the trouble he had found himself him. And his mother. Just a week before she had found herself the unwilling participant in a bar fight. She still managed to protect the crew members with her and leave her opponents littering the floor while she walked out of there, despite being taken by surprise by the first swing.</p><p>No, Kirks may be brilliant and charming, but they were rough around the edges and prone to trouble. Why did he think he was right for Leonard?</p><p>Suddenly, his hand was being lifted up from where it was resting on the table and a kiss was being pressed to the palm before Leonard cupped it in his broad, warm hand and placed their joined hands under the table onto his knee.</p><p>“Do you know what you want, Darl'n?”</p><p>“Yes, yes I do,” Jim answered, suddenly wondering why he kept doubting his suitability for the place he wanted in Leonard's life.</p><p>*~*~*~*~*</p><p>Leonard was surprised he could possibly be more nervous after the date than he was before, but the minute they arrived back to their apartment he simultaneously relaxed and got flustered. He was so glad to be out of that restaurant. That was the kind of place that Jocelyn would have wanted to go to every weekend. He was pretty sure now that Jim had tried it, he would be satisfied to never go again. Other than that, though, it had been a wonderful night. Just being with the charming, beautiful man had been enough to make the night unforgettable.</p><p>“Thanks, Jim,” he said, not sure what else to say or do as he loosened his tie and took off his cuff links. “I had a great time.”</p><p>“Me too,” Jim responded, pulling off his jacket and laying it neatly across the back of the sofa. “Um, I need to get out of this,” he suddenly laughed. “I feel stifled. I'm going to go put on my pajamas.”</p><p>“Yeah, that sounds like a great idea.”</p><p>They both left for their respective rooms and Leonard mourned the fact that he was probably not going to see Jim again that night. He may have been pushing his luck too much with the casual kissing. Jim had proven that he was capable of running if he needed to, and this was probably him getting out of there before he had the chance to push him again. He sighed sadly and made his way back into the kitchen, getting a drink of water before turning to go back to his room for the night.</p><p>He stopped, however, when he heard the hiss of Jim's door open and Jim himself, wearing sleep pants and a too big shirt, headed right to Leonard. He didn't stop until he was in the other man's personal space, pressing his body along his and wrapping his arms around his neck.</p><p>Then Jim was kissing him, deliberate, slow, an. passionate. They explored each other's mouths in a way Leonard had wanted to the first time, the kiss being broken only enough to pull in some air before they slotted their mouths together again in a slightly different way. After what felt like hours, Jim finally pulled away, stepping back. Leonard didn't get a chance to feel any loss because Jim was immediately taking his hand and walking him into his own room.</p><p>The younger man didn't give any explanation, just climbed into Leonard's bed, turning onto his side and flipping the blankets behind him open in invitation. Staying just as silent on the matter, Len climbed in behind him, cupping his body around him the wrapping an arm around his waist. Jim reached over and activated the bedside holograph, once again turning the room into a snowy field.</p><p>Leonard fell asleep warm and content with smell of Jim's hair and the weight of him in his arms filling his senses while snow fell around them and stars shined above.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Day 20 - Gold</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>All that glitters is the gold on day 20. But first, it's the morning after the night before.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>First off, the beginning of this chapter is explicit, so there is that lol. Also, thank you all for your comments on the last couple of chapters. I like to talk to you individually because of how much I love your reactions, but I've been a bit busy. Thank you for your understanding and your continued interest in this story. Love you all!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>At one point, sometime very early in the morning, Jim woke up and sleepily turned over in Leonard's arms, resting his head against his shoulder and wrapping an arm around him before falling back into a deep sleep. Leonard, for his part, didn't wake, but did tighten his hold just a fraction and pull Jim just a bit closer.<br/></p>
<p>In his dreams, he was speeding through space at light speed, but the golden haired man with the bright eyes and charming smile was keeping him safe, so he was completely unafraid.<br/></p>
<p>*~*~*~*~*<br/></p>
<p>When Jim finally woke up, the holograph was off, the sun was high in the window, and Bones was stroking his back in a soothing manner. He pulled back until he could see his face, but still stay within the circle of his arms. He smiled at him and received a kiss, light and chaste, in return.<br/></p>
<p>“Good morning,” he whispered, not wanting to break whatever spell they were under.<br/></p>
<p>“Morning,” Leonard replied, just as quietly, then pulled him close again, kissing him with the passion that Jim had kissed him the night before.<br/></p>
<p>Bones continued stroking over his back, but dipped lower, rubbing over his bottom as well, adding a squeeze to the caress as he passed over the firm globes. Jim moaned and pushed his groin against the other man, doing his best to signal his approval of the proceedings. Leonard gave a happy groan of his own and pulled Jim's leg over his hip, allowing the hard lines of their cocks to slot next to each other through their thin sleep pants while he resumed his stroking, concentrating on the inviting, upturned bottom under his hand. He made his strokes longer, dipping his long fingers between Jim's legs so that they rubbed over his balls, making the younger man shudder.<br/></p>
<p>Jim moaned in disappointment when Leonard pulled his mouth away to look at him. Leonard just chuckled and nudged his nose with his, getting him to actually look him in the eye.<br/></p>
<p>“You OK with us doing this?” he asked, thrusting his hips to indicate what 'this' he meant. “I'm so turned on right now, darl'n, it's not going to take much more before I'm done. Can we finish here or do I need to go hop in the shower?”<br/></p>
<p>“Here,” Jim agreed enthusiastically. “But let's get the pants out of the way. I want to actually feel you.”<br/></p>
<p>“Lord,” Leonard moaned brokenly and quickly helped him pull their pants to just under their groins, allowing their dicks to touch uncovered for the first time.<br/></p>
<p>Jim grasped the man in his arms even tighter to him when he felt the silky, super heated flesh against his aching member and realized just how big Bones was. He couldn't help but think about how amazing that would feel inside of him for the brief moment he could think. Then they were moving against each other again, shuddering in each other's arms, gasping and calling out each other's names, before they were releasing hot cum between their bodies, making their movements even more slick.<br/></p>
<p>Jim limply allowed himself to be rolled onto his back as Leonard rolled on top of him, continuing to thrust through the mess with his still hard cock. Jim knew he had already come, but the other man still felt like he was ready for action. Jim wrapped his legs around his hips and began to suck on his neck, hoping he was encouraging him to keep taking what he needed. After a moment, though, Leonard began to soften and his thrusts slowed down until finally, he rolled off the other man, blushing furiously.<br/></p>
<p>“Sorry,” he said. “I guess I should have warned you I have a tendency to stay hard for awhile. I don't have to keep at you, though.”<br/></p>
<p>“Don't apologize,” Jim admonished after he kissed him quiet. “You felt so good against me, I never wanted it to stop. You take as much time and stimulation as you need from me, I liked it. When we have sex, I want to participate in all of it, not just until I get off.”<br/></p>
<p>Leonard, not knowing what to say, expressed his gratitude by pulling their sticky bodies back together and kissing him deeply, stroking up under his shirt and over all the bare flesh he could reach. When they finally broke apart they were both panting for air.<br/></p>
<p>“Now,” Jim finally got out. “How about that shower you mentioned?”<br/></p>
<p>*~*~*~*~*<br/></p>
<p>Most of the shower was spent with the two of them wrapped around each other, rocking back and forth as they held each other close, Jim's head on Leonard's shoulder. Leonard thought it was about perfect.<br/></p>
<p>“Wanna just go out and get some breakfast?” he asked Jim once they were out, dried off and dressed. <br/></p>
<p>“I think it will be lunch now,” Jim laughed. “But yeah. Let me go grab something before we go.”<br/></p>
<p>He went into his room but was only gone a moment before he came out carrying the usual note and package. Before he handed it over, though, he looked at Len with an unreadable expression.<br/></p>
<p>“Things have changed between us pretty fast, huh?” he started, much to Leonard's concern. “Don't get me wrong, I love what we've been doing so far, but what are we doing? What does this mean to you?”<br/></p>
<p>“You want to define it, I guess,” Len sighed, rubbing his forehead before giving Jim a serious look. “Yeah, that's fair. The answer is... I don't know. I don't know what I'm doing. Hell, I probably shouldn't be doing it. I'm worried I'm rebounding from Jocelyn. I keep comparing the two of you in my head – you're winning, by the way. I'm scared to commit one way or another just to find out that's not really how I feel. What I do know is, I care so much about you. You're easily the most important person in my life, my best friend, and I would do anything to keep from hurting you. I only want to make you smile, to make you feel good, to make you happy. I gotta believe that that counts for something and that it means something, that my heart already knows what my head is trying to figure out. Do you understand?”<br/></p>
<p>“Yeah, I think so,” Jim nodded. “So, if I needed to label it, I could say we're dating?”<br/></p>
<p>“Yeah, we're definitely dating.”<br/></p>
<p>“Exclusively?”</p>
<p>“After this morning? And all the other things I plan to do with you? Yeah, I don't like the idea of sharing you or myself with someone else if we're having sex. And I assume this morning wasn't a one off?”<br/></p>
<p>“Oh, no, I fully intend to end up right back in bed with you, later today if possible.”<br/></p>
<p>“Then yep, dating exclusively.”<br/></p>
<p>Jim relaxed, which helped Leonard relax, and handed the day's present over. Len eagerly opened the note, feeling better now that Jim seemed to have been reassured by his explanation of his feelings.<br/></p>
<p>
  <em>Everything that glitters is not always gold, except on day 20, it is. Accessories are something you rarely buy yourself, and even though you won't use these that often, you deserve to have something nice. So, retire the fake ones you currently wear because today is Gold and that's what you're getting.</em>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Love,</em>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Your Secret Santa</em>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>Leonard opened the package to find a set of gold cuff links. They were similar to the ones he owned that were coated in a gold colored material, but clearly of a higher quality.<br/></p>
<p>“Jim, these are great, thank you,” he breathed.<br/></p>
<p>“You're welcome for the delivery,” Jim said carefully. “I'll be sure to let your secret Santa that you really liked the gift.”<br/></p>
<p>“Yeah, that's what I meant,” Leonard grinned as he put them down on the table to be put away later and then reached out and took Jim's hand. “You ready to go on our lunch date?”<br/></p>
<p>“You bet I am. I'm starving.”<br/></p>
<p>They left the apartment, hands swinging between them.<br/></p>
<p>*~*~*~*~*<br/></p>
<p>Jim was satisfied with Leonard's explanation of his feelings, but also a little concerned. He very well could be rebounding and it was something Jim had to consider. He could be on his way to a truly devastating heart break. That said, he couldn't truly believe that. Something in him knew that Bones loved him, just as completely as he loved him.<br/></p>
<p>The problem, he was now realizing, was still Jocelyn. Her ghost was haunting them in the form of the trauma she had left behind. Jim had always known she was no good for him, but he was only just understanding how bad she had been. Already, two red flags had revealed themselves and he suspected there would be more. <br/></p>
<p>First, the clothes – just so casually offering himself up for criticizing. Jim couldn't have even imagined. Bones didn't even own anything he didn't look amazing in. How could he mess up dressing himself? If he had gotten ready to go to dinner in a clown suit, Jim would have thought he looked great. </p>
<p>Then that morning with their first sexual encounter. The poor man had been truly mortified thinking he had taken too long to be satisfied. Jim couldn't understand how anyone wouldn't enjoy every second of the other man's pleasure. It was a gift he was so glad he had shared with him and he was looking forward to sharing again. He hoped Leonard took a long time before he was done with him.<br/></p>
<p>Leonard had clearly been emotionally abused by that woman and Jim had to figure out a way of helping him through that while convincing him that Jim could give him the kind of love he deserved.<br/></p>
<p>By the same token, Jim also needed to admit to himself that Leonard may not be ready as quickly as he wanted him to be, and he'd have to be OK with that, no matter how much it hurt.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Day 21- Lights</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Day 21 is for lights and a heart to heart talk.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I have to get up for work tomorrow,” Leonard laughed when Jim wouldn't get off his lap.</p><p>“Alright,” he agreed, wrapping his arms around his neck and positioning himself to be carried. “Let's go.”</p><p>“I am not capable of standing up from the sofa with you in my arms bridal style,” he complained. “You're too heavy!”</p><p>“Are you calling me fat?”</p><p>“Would you get up if I were?”</p><p>The results was a tickle fight that ended with Jim on the floor, gasping for air in between hysterical laughter while Leonard ran to his room. Jim managed to pick himself off the floor, struggling to his feet, and chase after him to find just inside the room, standing next to bed which Jim promptly tackled him on to.</p><p>They had ended up spending the day together, doing some shopping and just wandering down town, before heading home to take out and a movie. Then they were talking, with Jim perched on Leonard's lap. Now that he was allowed to touch, it seemed that Jim didn't like to leave Leonard's personal space. Leonard didn't mind.</p><p>They finally settled onto the bed, curled around each other in the middle, their racing hearts calming down while they caught their breath. After a moment, Leonard nudged Jim.</p><p>“We have to get back up.”</p><p>“Why? Use the computer to turn off the lights.”</p><p>“We're still fully dressed.”</p><p>“We don't have to get up to get naked.”</p><p>“I want pajamas and I want you in them, too. I have to sleep.”</p><p>“You saying you can't sleep if I'm naked?”</p><p>“All that soft skin of yours where I can touch it? Sure I can sleep. After I've worn us both out.”</p><p>“Well, in that case...”</p><p>It took awhile before Leonard was able to get to sleep.</p><p>*~*~*~*~*</p><p>Jim learned a very important lesson that night – after sex, Bones was a very sound sleeper. He didn't even twitch when he slid out of bed and out of the room to set up the next day's secret Santa gift. He also didn't twitch, when an hour later, Jim crawled back into bed and back into his arms. He just snored along contentedly. </p><p>*~*~*~*~*</p><p>Leonard woke up with his alarm, groggy a little ill tempered. He looked down at Jim, snoozing away without a care in the world, and resented him a little. That, of course, could not last long. He ended up thinking of how beautiful he looked in the early morning sunlight with his long lashes resting against the curve of his cheek and his full, lush mouth, slightly open, lips glistening.</p><p>Leonard rolled his eyes in disgust with himself and rolled out of bed. He quickly and quietly got dressed, wondering if maybe they should just turn Jim's room into a dressing room so they wouldn't disturb each other getting ready if one needed to leave earlier than the other or if it was way too soon to be thinking of things like that, and walked out of his room...</p><p>...just to stop dead in his tracks.</p><p>The entire place – living area, dining area, kitchen – was bedecked in lights. The windows had been set to stay opaque so no natural light was coming in, but the apartment was as bright as daylight with lights strung from every surface. He managed to pick his jaw up off the ground and open the letter for the day.</p><p>
  <em>Day 21 is Lights, and I really wanted to light up your world. Thankfully, my assistant was on board. He agreed that you light up the room where ever you go, so we lit the room up literally.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Love,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Your Secret Santa</em>
</p><p>“Do you like it?” Jim asked shyly from where he was leaning on the door.</p><p>“It's beautiful,” Leonard breathed. “So, my secret Santa was here last night helping you?”</p><p>“Not exactly,” Jim hedged. “I was told what they wanted so I put it up.”</p><p>“You're doing an awful lot of work for them,” Leonard commented, turning to Jim.</p><p>“Well, I agree with them.”</p><p>“Oh?”</p><p>“You're worth the effort and need to know you deserve special things in your life.”</p><p>“Well, I've got the most precious, special person in my life already.”</p><p>Leonard pulled Jim into his arms and kissed him deeply. They stood there for a long time, the lights reflecting off of them as they kissed.</p><p>*~*~*~*~*</p><p>Leonard may have not gotten as much sleep as usual the night before, but he was energized and ready for the day when he got to the practice, only a few minutes late. (He was having a really hard time tearing himself from Jim's arms.)</p><p>“Lucky for you your first patient is running a bit behind,” David admonished him when they met in the lobby as Leonard was jogging in. “You're in a good mood, so there is that.”</p><p>“Dad, do you think it's too soon to start dating again? I haven't been broken up with Jocelyn very long at all. What's considered an appropriate amount of time?”</p><p>“Oh, we're skipping the discussion about being on time, I see. Well, there really isn't anything that considered appropriate in your circumstances, I don't believe. You didn't lose your spouse, you're not in mourning. You ended a contentious relationship that had gone on too long in the first place, as far as everyone was concerned. You should be celebrating, not hibernating.”</p><p>“OK, that's a relief. Though, I don't know how to say this...”</p><p>“Oh! You and Jim have finally gotten together, haven't you?”</p><p>“Good, god, does everyone know my business,” Leonard complained. “Yes, we have, we're officially dating. You don't find that a little weird?”</p><p>“Well yes it is weird...”</p><p>“Yeah, I know, he's my foster brother, I don't know how we're going to explain this to the rest of the family, if it gets that far...”</p><p>“... that you two didn't get together much sooner. That boy has been in love with you forever. And your family has been taking bets on when it's going to happen, so I need as close to date and time as you can give me.”</p><p>“Been in love with me?”</p><p>“What do you mean 'if it gets that far'?”</p><p>“Wait, taking bets!?”</p><p>They stopped and stared at each other for a moment, then David took a breath and held up his hand.</p><p>“Don't ask about the betting pool, just accept that it's going on and your mother and I have already lost. You have to know he's in love with you. He's done a terrible job of hiding it.”</p><p>“I guess I at least had figured it out in the last few month,” Leonard admitted, sitting down heavily in a chair in his father's office. “I'm worried I'm going to end up hurting him.”</p><p>“I don't think you will,” David reassured him. “Not so long as you're true to yourself and your feelings. And you can't be afraid of your feelings. I know Jocelyn did a number on you and probably has made you feel like you can't trust your judgment in these things, but I know you. She was an aberration. Your next choice will be the right one.”</p><p>“And what if I decide Jim isn't the person I want to spend my life with?”</p><p>“Well, it's your life. You have to spend it with the person who makes it better for you, the person you want to be with every day. To us, that seems like Jim, but we're outsiders no matter how close of a family we are. We will always support your decisions.”</p><p>“Thanks dad.”</p><p>“You're welcome. Now I know damn well I heard the lobby bell. Let's get this day started.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I think the daily gifts are taking a backseat to the rest of the plot LoL. I'm thinking of doing a sequel, like a 25 days of summer thing, where Leonard goes through the notes Jim left him and decides to use the same themes to do stuff for him everyday for 25 days, but they're romantic (and often sexual because this version of Bones really wants to keep thinking with his dick and I'd let him in a pwp sequel 😆).</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Day 22 - Sparkles</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Day 22. Sparkles.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jim did something he'd never done before. He set up the next day's gift on the dining table the afternoon before.</p><p>Truthfully, he was tired. Even without classes to contend with, he was burning the candle at both ends. Being Leonard's secret Santa, helping with the family's secret Santa stuff, being Leonard's boyfriend... it was exhausting. Especially the boyfriend part. Oh, they were saying they dating, they hadn't used the boyfriend term yet and it had only been a couple of days, but since that first date he hadn't slept in his own room and he didn't think he'd be sleeping anywhere but Leonard's bed any time soon. Not if the flavored lube the older man had bought their day out shopping was anything to go by.</p><p>So, no more midnight excursions to set up the secret Santa gift, even if it was just a package and note and not the elaborate set up he had done the night before. He just left a stern note to not touch until the <br/>next day and left for the campus.</p><p>The University was never truly closed. Over breaks, there was always research projects going on and they offered many enrichment programs to help pad resumes and just entertain the students. Jim headed to one he had signed up for himself, a one day work shop on sculpting skills, level III. He was by no mean an artist, none of the students in these classes were. As a matter of fact, they were taught by art students to give them experience teaching and to give students in other disciplines a chance to learn something about creating artwork.</p><p>Engineers loved the course and there had been interest in higher levels from the basic skills course as a supplement to their own design courses. It seems that back in the old days, engineers used to actually make physical models of their projects, not just computer generated holograms. Many found they enjoyed the hands on approached and were reviving the old art form. Jim had already taken the first two classes and was glad they were offering the third one.</p><p>“Hey, Kevin,” he greeted the younger man as he slid onto a stool next to him. “See you got in, too.”</p><p>“Yeah, it was a near thing,” he agreed. “They give preference to upper level students like you. I did hear a rumor, though, that in the near future they're going to offer a semester long program aimed at engineering and science students, focused on making 3D models.”</p><p>“That would be so cool. Bones would be jealous.”</p><p>“Bones? Oh, yeah, Leonard, the foster brother you have a crush on.”</p><p>“The foster brother I'm dating.”</p><p>“Oh, really?”</p><p>“Yeah, he's my boyfriend.”</p><p>“That so?”</p><p>“We have sex every chance we get.”</p><p>“Sounds serious.”</p><p>“It is.”</p><p>“I'm dating Ruth.”</p><p>“... … … Bullshit.”</p><p>“You're right, she can barely stand me. Just wanted to see the look on your face.”</p><p>Jim just shook his head and focused on the front of the room as the instructor walked in and started talking.</p><p>*~*~*~*~*</p><p>Len had a late night at the hospital with a patient, so Jim was already in bed when he got home. He saw the gift in the middle of the table and, when he went to investigate, the note forbidding him from touching. He huffed a little in amusement and just went straight into his room, pleased to see a blond tuft of hair sticking out from the blankets on what was now Jim's side of the bed. He hadn't been sure if the other man would be there without a direct invitation.</p><p>He quietly began to get ready for bed. While heading to his armoire for sleepwear, he ended up tripping over Jim's clothes in the low light. He rolled his eyes and picked them up. Jim wasn't a messy person, just sometimes he would leave stuff lying around until the next morning. Leonard figured if that was his worst habit, he was lucky and could live with it.</p><p>He felt something stiff on his shirt. Curiosity always got the best of him, so he took the pile of clothing over to his desk and turned the desk lamp on, aiming what ended up being the hem of Jim's shirt under the bright light. It looked like he had gotten some kind of clay on himself. He briefly wondered what Jim had been up to that day, but shrugged it off, turned off the lamp, and threw the clothes into the hamper to be washed.</p><p>*~*~*~*~*</p><p>Jim woke up the next day to find Leonard waiting patiently with a cup of coffee next to the table, the gift untouched.</p><p>“You haven't opened it yet?” he asked as he went and got his own cup of coffee.</p><p>“It says to not touch until tomorrow.”</p><p>“Oh my god, don't start this crap,” Jim moaned dramatically. “I know, it's never tomorrow, it's always today. I wrote the note yesterday, so as far as the note is concerned, today is tomorrow.”</p><p>“I don't know, Jim, that sounds like mumbo jumbo relativity stuff...”</p><p>“Just open it.”</p><p>“Well, if tomorrow ever gets here.”</p><p>“Fine, don't open it.”</p><p>“Oh please, like you could stand that.”</p><p>“I know what's inside. You don't. Wanna blow job before you go to work?”</p><p>Leonard glared at Jim, glared at the present, then with a growl and a muttered curse about the unfairness of it all, grabbed the card off the table.</p><p>
  <em>It's time for something fun! For day 22, I wanted you to Sparkle! Are you ready to shine for the rest of the world to see? OK, I'll admit, this one is kind of the gag gift, but I'd still love it if you wore it. Maybe with your new cuff links.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Love,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Your Secret Santa</em>
</p><p>With a lot of trepidation, Leonard opened the gift. Inside was a gold sequined bow tie and waist coat. </p><p>“I am so wearing this to the Christmas party,” Leonard laughed.</p><p>“It'd go great with your black suit,” Jim agreed as he pushed the other man into a chair and began to open his fly.</p><p>“Wait, I still get the blow job?”</p><p>“I didn't say it was either or, you just assumed. I'm not that cruel,” Jim said with a wicked smile before putting his mouth to better use.</p><p>*~*~*~*~*</p><p>After Leonard left for work, Jim got a shower, got dressed and headed out. He arrived at his University's art room just as the instructor was arriving.</p><p>“Ah, Mr. Kirk, here to check on your sculpture?”</p><p>“Yes, sir. I know it won't be done until tomorrow, but I want to see how it's looking.”</p><p>“Well, let's go take a look at the drying racks.”</p><p>The particular style of sculpting the students had been learning was actually a Vulcan technique that used a sort a modeling clay that, despite not needing to add water, stayed pliable, easy to shape with tools, until exposed to direct UV for long periods of time. The ancient Vulcans would leave their artwork in the desert for days to cure, but as they grew technologically advanced, they created a 'drying rack' that would saturate the pieces of artwork with UV from all sides and shorten the process. It still took around forty four standard hours, the quickest they found the clay could be dried and not lose its integrity.</p><p>Jim followed his instructor in the adjacent room to find the racks with the pieces from his class drying. Towards the end of the second row was Jim's piece. He walked over to it, eagerly looking it over.</p><p>“It looks good,” the instructor declared. “No discoloration, no cracking. Looks like you kept your <br/>strokes firm and even so no off little lines showing up. It should still look like this tomorrow when it's <br/>done.”</p><p>“Awesome. Thank you. This is a very important gift.”</p><p>“Well, I think it should go over very well. It's a nice piece.”</p><p>“Thanks. I sure hope he thinks so, too.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>No idea why I make Jim and Kevin's interactions so immature lol.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Day 23 - Original</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Day 23 is an original creation.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I am so sorry but due to my crazy work schedule this chapter is late and extremely short. Tomorrow should be better.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Leonard was starting to get used to waking up with Jim in his arms. The idea that he had just days before, that he wasn't sure if Jim was someone he could spend the rest of his life with, that this was probably a rebound, seemed so foreign now. All he could think of was that he never wanted to give this up.</p><p>He slid out of bed that morning, careful not to wake his lover up. The younger man had seemed to be so tired the day before. Len didn't know exactly what he had been up to, but it had obviously been a long day. Just delivering his presents every day had to be taking up a lot of his time. He kissed him gently on his forehead and left the room, intending to get dressed in the bathroom to cut down on the noise.</p><p>In the dining room, his present was waiting for him as usual. The package on the table was unusually big and with a sense of curiosity, Leonard picked up the note.</p><p>
  <em>I have spent a lot of time picking out and ordering the perfect gifts for you, but not for today. Today's gift I made. I was thinking of you the entire time, wanting it to be perfect, hoping you would love it. It's not perfect, but it contains a bit of my spirit, I believe, and I'm not perfect either. I hope you'll still love it.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Love,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Your Secret Santa</em>
</p><p>Inside the package was a sculpture. It was heavy, but clearly meant to hang on the wall. Even though it felt like it was made of some kind of clay, the strokes of the tools made it look like it was made of wood and rope. In his hands was the steering wheel of an old fashioned sea vessel.</p><p>Unbidden, a line of poetry came to his mind:</p><p>
  <em>And all I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by.</em>
</p><p>If his secret Santa truly put some of their spirit into the piece of artwork he was holding, then he didn't think he could deny it anymore. Jim had to be the one giving him these gifts every day. And knowing it was him, knowing how the other man felt about him, brought the gifts into a whole new light.<br/><br/></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>The quote that appears in this chapter: From the episode The Ultimate Computer, Kirk quotes Sea Fever by John Masefield to Dr. McCoy to describe how he feels about captaining the Enterprise. I don'tthink he says it's his favorite poem (or maybe he does, it's been awhile since I've seen the episode) but I've always liked to think that it is.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. Day 24 - From the Heart</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Day 24 is From the Heart and Jim needs a little help with it.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I may be officially a day behind. I'm a bit tired with work and the holidays, but one day, or a few hours late, as they seem to be, should be the worst of it.</p><p>That said, happy holidays to all of you who celebrate, and many bright blessings to you all! You are my light, I hope you have light of your own in your life.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jim stumbled groggily out of the bedroom to find Bones already gone for the day and his sculpture hanging on the wall. He touched it softly, pleased it had found its way where it did. Bones always drank his first cup of coffee, leaning on the counter, facing that wall. He put it where he'd see it every morning but didn't hide it away in his room.</p><p>“I must down to the seas again, to the lonely sea and the sky, And all I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by; And the wheel's kick and the wind's song and the white sail's shaking, And a grey mist on the sea's face, and a grey dawn breaking.” he muttered as he looked at it, then turned away to pour his own cup of coffee before he got too emotional.</p><p>He had found that poem during high school while looking up poems for a project. It hadn't fit the theme of his project, but it had struck a chord deep inside of him. It reminded him both of his mother and his father, and in some way, even himself and Sam.</p><p>His father, the sailor, though the seas he had traveled, and had taken him, were not made of water and foam, but just as vast and deep and beautiful. Reading the poem had made him think of him as still out there, alone in a spray of stars, voyaging onward forever. And this lady, this sea, called to his mother <br/>and made her crave the cold places her husband still sailed.</p><p>But he wasn't sad and didn't resent space for taking his parents in very different way. He thought of his father as happy to be eternally in a place he loved and he was glad his mother was in the in-between; still a major part of his life, still a loving mom, but out there with his dad so he wouldn't be so lonely. </p><p>The call was something he could understand, and he thought Sam could, too. It called to them both, as well, just a bit more subtly. </p><p>He finished up his breakfast and headed out for another busy day. The party was only two days away – he couldn't believe it was that close to Christmas and the end of the secret Santa exchange – and he had a lot to do helping Eleanora with the party. He had been volunteered since school was out and he didn't tend to hold down a job in between, the McCoys insisting he take advantage of having time off while he still could. He thought they just wanted to make sure one of their boys was still available to help out with things like this while they had the chance.</p><p>He also needed to come up with the next day's present. He had the last one all mapped out, and implementing it was terrifying him even with his target firmly in his arms and he in his bed. He should be feeling confident that it was going to go great, but that nagging insecurity was there, telling him to tread lightly. Unfortunately for that side of him, he couldn't tread lightly. It was full steam ahead.</p><p>“Ma!” he shouted as he bounded into the home. “I'm here!”</p><p>“Yes, you are. The whole neighborhood knows,” she smiled as she came out of the kitchen.</p><p>“Are you baking?” he asked, all but pushing around her to get into the kitchen so he could get to the cookies he was smelling.</p><p>“Yes, and so are you, so put on that apron – just one cookie, young man! - and let's get to work. We haven't had a chance to talk in a couple of days, I need to know how things are going with you and Leonard. I had to hear it from David that you two are dating. How does that work with you two living together?”</p><p>Jim, cookie in his mouth, stopped chewing and stared at her like a deer caught in headlights. She just started laughing.</p><p>“OK, so dating is a euphemism for having sex on every surface. Don't be so shocked, David and I did a lot of that before we finally decided we might as well sign a contract. We also called it 'dating.'”</p><p>“First of all, ew, I did not need to hear that despite the fact I know that's the norm with most couples. And secondly, we've gone out on dates. I just haven't slept in my own room since.”</p><p>“Sounds serious.”</p><p>“I hope so.”</p><p>They worked in silence for a few minutes, Jim finally getting his apron on and starting on a batch of sugar cookies, before he turned to her again.</p><p>“I've always wondered, what kind of marriage contract do you and dad have?”</p><p>“Well, the first few years, we had a standard yearly contract,” she answered contemplatively. “After Leonard was born, we signed a five year, figuring we owed it to him. But, when Leonard was about four, David's mother died. It was very unexpected and he took it hard. He started drinking, heavily, and we'd get in the worst arguments.”</p><p>“David? Calm, collected, holo vid dad David?”</p><p>“A little alcohol is nice. Can be fun and relaxing. Too much can bring out the worst in people. He was angry, depressed... he blamed the whole world and it spilled over into our home. One night he frightened Leonard so bad I packed us up and headed to my parent's. He woke up the next day, left me a message, and checked himself into a medical facility.</p><p>“He thought it was over. Hell, I did too. But I went to see him when he was allowed visitors, and I still loved him. I was able to forgive him after I was sure he wasn't ever going to be stupid enough to let those demons take him again. Despite being a doctor, he had never learned to accept death, and it took a lot of therapy to get him to the point where he could let go when he needed to instead of raging against the Grim Reaper.</p><p>“He moved back home and our relationship was stronger than ever. All the talking we do with you boys, all the talking and reflecting we encourage you to do... that was learned from that experience. We hope you all will be wiser because of what we've already been through. So, after all of that, we realized that if we could make it through that and still want to stay married, we'd always work through our differences to be a family. We now, and have had for a long time, a traditional marriage contract, one that doesn't expire and you have to go through a bunch of shit to get out of.”</p><p>Overwhelmed, Jim surprised Eleanora with a tight hug.</p><p>“Thanks for sharing that with me, ma,” he said thickly. “That's the best present you could have given me.”</p><p>“Oh, honey, I'm glad,” she pulled back and looked him the eye. “Len has those demons, too. We've done our best to make sure he doesn't let them overwhelm him, but he's so much like his father. It takes a lot of love to get through that.”</p><p>“Maybe you should tell him what you told me. As much as we don't want it to be true, we are going to lose both of you someday. Maybe if you told him about his dad and grandmother, he'll at least know what could happen if he gives in and doesn't face his grief head on.”</p><p>“You would know about facing grief head on, wouldn't you? At least, once you were old enough to know you had something to grieve. You're right, I'll tell him.”</p><p>“Yeah, well, my grief was more vague,” Jim countered as he got back to work. “I was more upset whenever Sam or Len would leave than I was over the concept that I was growing up without my father. With David there, it was an abstract concept. Yeah, my brother going off, then my...” Jim stopped, thinking hard about exactly how he felt every time Leonard left. “Have I always thought of him as my boyfriend?” he asked the room at large in horror.</p><p>“I'll tell you a secret,” Eleanora giggled. “You kept calling him your boyfriend when you were four. Huh, maybe that's why you never attached as a brother. We didn't correct you.”</p><p>“Oh, really,” he glared at her. “So I was being groomed to be your son's perfect partner.”</p><p>“What?” she shot back, shocked. “No! The thought never even crossed...”</p><p>“I know, I'm joking,” he laughed. “Your face! Ow, ma, stop whacking me with that spoon! Child abuse!”</p><p>“You are no child, Jim Kirk.”</p><p>“Oh, quick subject change, I need help with tomorrow's gift. It's the only one I haven't come up with. It's supposed to be 'From the Heart.'”</p><p>“What was today's?”</p><p>“It was 'Original' and I was taking that sculpting class so I made him a sculpture. A ship's wheel, like from a sea faring vessel? I wasn't awake when he unwrapped it but he hung it on the wall in the dining room. I was surprised because while it has significance to me I wasn't sure he'd like it.”</p><p>“A sea faring vessel, huh? Like from the poem 'Sea Fever?'”</p><p>“You know that poem?”</p><p>“Jim, honey, we all do! You spent so much time walking around the house reciting it when you first read it. That year, Leonard came home for Thanksgiving and he heard it over and over from you down the hall he finally asked me about it. I told him I thought it reminded you of your mom. He's the one that found that real paper book of poems from John Masefield.”</p><p>“Why didn't I remember that?” Jim asked, suddenly feeling his stomach drop out.</p><p>“You were kind of embarrassed when you realized we had all been hearing you the whole time. You may have dismissed the memory. You do that sometimes with things that make you too upset or uncomfortable.”</p><p>“That was not a good one to dismiss,” he sighed. “There's no way he doesn't know.”</p><p>“Well, it's almost time for the big reveal, so if it's taken him this long to figure out, good job. In that case, let's go for broke. I've got an idea.</p><p>*~*~*~*~*</p><p>Jim got home that night rather late, having spent all day baking. It always drove the family crazy that Eleanora insisted on baking and cooking instead of using the replicator, but Jim understood. It was relaxing, gave you time to think, and it just tasted better. When he walked through the door it was to find Len sitting on their sofa, eyes closed while soft music played, the only lights on coming from the tree and a few of the ones hanging from the walls.</p><p>“Hey, Jim,” he greeted softly as he got up and crossed the room, taking the other man into his arms and kissing him softly. “Have a good day?”</p><p>“Yeah,” he smiled warmly. “Did you like today's present?”</p><p>“I loved it,” Len replied. “Seemed real personal.”</p><p>“Yeah, it was,” Jim admitted.</p><p>“Maybe someday my Santa will tell me about it.”</p><p>“I'm sure they will.”</p><p>They kissed again, deeper, while swaying to the music. Before he could get lost, though, Jim pulled back and pulled out his comm.</p><p>“Let's stand in front of the tree,” he said. “I want to get a picture.”</p><p>“OK,” Leonard agreed bemusedly. </p><p>Jim maneuvered them in from of the tree but instead of posing cheek to cheek he pulled them into another kiss, slow and passionate, and took that picture.</p><p>“That's perfect,” he smiled when he looked at it.</p><p>“Yeah, it was,” Leonard breathed, and pulled him back into another kiss.</p><p>*~*~*~*~*</p><p>Leonard went off to work again the next day before Jim was even up. He didn't have that day's gift waiting on him, but he figured that was probably for the best. He wasn't sure if he could handle another gift he was examining for meaning.</p><p>He wasn't sure why he was freaking out. They didn't have hidden meaning, the notes made it clear exactly what Jim meant by each one. He loved and adored Leonard and wanted him to understand he was worth that love and adoration. When he thought maybe it was a relative meaning he deserved to be loved by his family, that was fine and dandy; he knew he did. And boy, what denial that had to have been. Jim's fingerprints were all over the gifts, they understood him so well.</p><p>It also wasn't like he was unaware of Jim's feelings. They were currently on the same page. But were they really? Jim seemed to love him so deeply, he was already so committed, and it had been such a short time and Leonard was just getting out of a relationship... But it hadn't been a short time for Jim. <br/>He had been invested in Leonard for a lot longer. In any other circumstance he'd find it a little creepy and unamusing, but because he actually adored Jim, cherished him, wanted to be with him...</p><p>Was he ready for what he realized was about to happen? Could he give Jim what the younger man so clearly wanted and he had been so willfully blind to? He honestly didn't have the answer.</p><p>It was another long day and by the time he got home, Jim was clearly already in bed. On the table was another gift. Leonard picked it up and read the note.</p><p>
  <em>Today is From the Heart. This one was hard since, really, they had all been from the heart, whether serious, playful, or somewhere in between. I actually had to have help with this one, actual advice, but you know ma's good at giving advice, especially while she's baking. So, here it is, the first of what I hope will be many memories for us.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Love,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Jim</em>
  <br/>
  <em>(Your Secret Santa)</em>
</p><p>Inside the package was an ornament, simple in design. It was actually a lot like many of the ornaments they had and he knew how his mother had helped Jim. She had a drawer full of these types of ornaments, small ornate frames, just waiting for a picture. He took it across the room to the lit tree and <br/>hung it up, stepping back to look at the picture that Jim had taken the day before of them kissing in <br/>front of the tree.</p><p>He was going to have to come up with that answer fast.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. Day 25 - Love</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Day 25 is Love. Merry Christmas!</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>It happened. It's a full day late. But it's because I live in the boonies in an internet service black hole so I post using my phone. It ::gasp:: snowed yesterday, which we knew it would for days but the towns were woefully prepared for. I lost internet. I can only assume it was related. I could call, and text, but no data 😭.</p>
<p>Now, if today's chapter is late it's because I'm sick and have been sleeping.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jim woke up warm, arms wrapped around him from behind, even breathing ruffling the hair at his crown. He lay there, cozy and content, until his brain caught up and he remembered what day it was, what he was planning on doing for the last gift, and the gift he had already given the night before. With his heart in his throat, he gently wiggled himself free of Leonard's arms and slid out of bed, leaving the room as quietly as possible.<br/></p><p>On the table, all evidence that the present had been there was gone. Nervous, not knowing how he'd ask if it wasn't there, Jim walked up to the tree in their living room and looked amongst the branches and other ornaments. There, towards the front at his eye level, was the ornament. He heaved a sigh of relief. If Leonard had put it on the tree, that meant it was OK, right?<br/></p><p>He heard the bedroom door swish open, but he didn't turn away from the tree, still nervous about what was going to be said, questions that might be asked. He felt the other man come up behind him and a hand gently lay on his waist. He finally turned his head to look at his lover.<br/></p><p>“Merry Christmas, Jim,” Len said quietly. “Mom and dad are expecting us this morning to open presents before the party. We better get ready.”<br/></p><p>“Yeah, um yeah. And um, Merry Christmas, Bones.”<br/></p><p>They kissed briefly before parting to get ready. Jim hoped he was imagining the slight tension in the air.<br/></p><p>*~*~*~*~*<br/></p><p>Everything seemed to be going off without a hitch. </p><p>They arrived to together at their childhood home, had breakfast, and opened presents beneath the tree as if they had never moved out, the only difference being they were dressed in their casual every day clothes and not their pajamas. Jim had suggested they just show up in PJs but Leonard had nixed that idea. Shortly after that, they began to help with the prep for a large dinner and party in the early evening.<br/></p><p>If Leonard wasn't showing Jim the casual affection he had been, if he was tensing up just a little if Jim tried to, it was just because it was still so new and the first time they were around his parents with their new status. At least, that's what Jim tried to tell himself, but a pit of dread was opening up in his stomach and he couldn't shake off the feeling that it was all going horribly wrong.<br/></p><p>Then the guests started arriving and Jim forgot his nerves for a time being. As the house filled up, adults paired off to present each other with their gifts. Hugs were exchanged, laughs were had, and a few drinks were poured. Everyone was having a good time and then they were serving dinner.<br/></p><p>It was going by too fast. Jim was supposed to present his last gift to Bones, in private, after dinner. Eleanora had helped, making sure the sitting room, where the whole secret Santa thing had begun for Jim, would be empty and closed off. He had been hungry, but now he just picked at his dinner. Across from him, Leonard noticed, and, catching his eye, nodded his head towards the kitchen. Jim got up and followed him out of the dinning room and out of the house onto the side porch.<br/></p><p>“You OK?” Leonard asked him once they were alone.</p><p>“Yeah, just nervous about this whole secret Santa thing,” Jim admitted.<br/></p><p>“Well,” Leonard rubbed the back of his neck nervously and then picked up a package Jim hadn't noticed from a side table and handed it to him. “I was going to get you out here after dessert, but you weren't really eating. So, I'm your secret Santa, merry Christmas.”<br/></p><p>Jim laughed and opened the package.<br/></p><p>“So that's why you looked at me like you did when I invited you out to dinner. You're the one who wrote the note telling me it was to be used on a date, with someone I wanted to be alone with.”<br/></p><p>“Yeah, kinda clued me in on how you wanted to take things.”<br/></p><p>“Oh, wow, Bones,” he gasped. “Herman Melville's Moby Dick, and it looks old.”<br/></p><p>“Yeah, it's about two hundred years old. Back when they were still using paper from trees but had learned to treat the paper so it wouldn't just crumble to dust after a hundred years or so.”<br/></p><p>“This is amazing, thank you.”<br/></p><p>They stood in silence for awhile before Leonard ventured to ask about his final gift.<br/></p><p>“I don't know how you're going to top what you've done,” he laughed nervously. “Sex in my childhood bed? Or yours?”<br/></p><p>“No,” Jim laughed, but then sobered. “This isn't just about sex for me, you know that, right?”<br/></p><p>“Yeah, I know,” Leonard answered seriously. “It isn't for me, either.”</p><p>“OK, well, it's in the sitting room,” Jim said, feeling more relaxed hearing that.<br/></p><p>He led him back inside and into the main room. The sitting room's doors had a ribbon tied around the handle, but Jim undid it, knowing that was to keep others out, not them, then closed and locked the door behind them. Inside was strung with lights and another, much smaller Christmas tree, decorated in lights and balls, lit up the corner. Jim took Leonard's hand and led him to an open spot beside the tree, then maneuvered them into a position that couldn't be mistaken for anything other than a slow dance.<br/></p><p>“Computer,” Jim said quietly, activating the little used house computer. “Play Leonard and Jim number one, this room only.”<br/></p><p>Music began to play and the smooth voice of a singer long gone but not forgotten filled the room and they began to sway to the song. Jim closed his eyes after awhile and began to silently sing along.<br/></p><p>
  <em>Each year, I ask for many different things,</em>
  <br/>
  <em>But now I know what my heart wants you to bring</em>
</p><p>
  <em>So just fall in love with me</em>
  <br/>
  <em>This Christmas </em>
  <br/>
  <em>There's nothing else that I will need<br/>This Christmas<br/>Won't be wrapped under the tree<br/>I want something to last forever<br/>So kiss me on this cold December night<br/></em>
</p><p>As the song went on, expressing the feeling of love and longing to make a family with the love his life, Jim rested his head against Leonard's shoulder. Leonard, in turn, held him close as they swayed together. As the last refrain filled the air, Jim pulled back and pulled his very willing partner into a lingering kiss, only parting once the music was long over.<br/></p><p>“I love you, Bones,” he said, meeting the other man's eyes. “For day 25, the theme is Love, and what better way to fill it, than to let you know that my feelings aren't lust, nor is it a crush. I'm in love with you, and while I know right this second is too soon, I want you to know that I want to build a life with you.”<br/></p><p>They stared at each other for several minutes before Leonard pulled Jim into his arms and hugged him close. Jim relaxed fully then, wrapping his arms around his love tightly, and snuggling in against him. <br/>Then Leonard was pushing him away and stepping back.<br/></p><p>“Thank you, Jim,” he said, clearly fighting back tears. “That's the most amazing thing you could have ever said to me. I just don't know if I can handle it right now. I thought maybe I could. I came in here, knowing you were going to make some kind of declaration of love and thought yeah, I can do this, I'm lucky he loves me. But now that we're here... I'm sorry I'm a coward, I really am, but I don't think I can do this. I don't know when or even if I'll be able to love again, but it's not right now, that's for sure.”<br/></p><p>And with that, Leonard turned on his heel and left Jim standing in the darkened room alone.<br/></p><p>*~*~*~*~*<br/></p><p>Jim sat for a long time in that room while the party went on around him. It didn't sound like anyone had seen Leonard leave. They probably thought the two of them were still in the sitting room, locked away from the rest of the world, celebrating their love for each other. But, it was just Jim, sitting there, thinking of all the ways he went wrong.<br/></p><p>His inner voice kept telling him it was too soon for the other man. He had been with Jocelyn for more than a year and he expected him to just move on after less than a month? To turn around and declare his undying love for someone he had only just recently stopped thinking of as a pest? Why didn't he just listen to his instincts and go with something like a promise ring and ask if he can officially call him his boyfriend because he really likes him? Something high school-ish, because that was probably the most Leonard could handle?<br/></p><p>No, he had to go big or go home, which was easily a Kirk trait according to all of his father's family. And now... well, he might as well go home because going big got his heart broken. He'd regroup and hope he could still salvage something of their relationship, hope Leonard would be willing to still date him and go on as they had been. But, if the other man needed more space than that, he'd have to give it to him.<br/></p><p>He loved him enough to give him as much space and time as he needed. He just hoped he hadn't ended everything before it really had a chance to begin.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>The song they're dancing to is Cold December Night by Michael Buble</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0027"><h2>27. Day 26 - On the Same Chapter</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Finally, some things are straightened out. They're not really on the same page yet, but at least they're on the same chapter.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I may have fixed it a bit too quickly, but we are nearing the end. Sorry for the rushed sex scene!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jim didn't see Leonard again until the next day. When he got home that night, he wasn't even sure if the other man was home and in his room, and he wasn't sure that he wanted to know. So, hoping he was making the right decision, he slept in his own room for the first time in what felt like forever. When he came out the next day, it was to find Len, already dressed, sitting on the sofa with the weather station on.<br/></p>
<p>“You slept in your own room last night,” he said without any inflection.<br/></p>
<p>“You seemed like you needed space,” Jim replied. “You said... you said you couldn't love me back. I... I...”<br/></p>
<p>Leonard was moving then, quickly standing and rounding the couch and side table to pull Jim, who hadn't even realized he had started crying, into his arms.<br/></p>
<p>“I'm sorry,” Bones whispered into his hair. “I freaked out at go time and what came out wasn't what I meant to come out. I didn't mean I didn't know if I can love again, I meant I didn't know if I can trust myself to love again, to show love, to put myself out there. But I know that's what I said and I'm so sorry for hurting you. I over reacted.”<br/></p>
<p>“No, you didn't over react,” Jim sighed, getting control of himself and pulling back. “Though I'm glad to know that's not exactly what you meant. No, Bones, you didn't over react. I pushed too hard. I wanted this perfect Christmas day love story not even taking into account where you might be right now emotionally after your breakup. I kept thinking I needed to go slower, aim for something a little smaller, but I just couldn't do it, I just had to have the fireworks, and the result is, I may have lost you. Have I lost you?”<br/></p>
<p>“No, you haven't,” Leonard replied, taking his hand. “I did over react, though. You outright said you weren't asking for anything right then and there, that you knew it was too soon. You were just stating your intentions.”<br/></p>
<p>“True, but clearly even that was too much, and there was a voice in the back of my head telling me it was too much. After all, you and Jocelyn broke up, what? Two weeks ago?”<br/></p>
<p>“Yeah, something like that.”<br/></p>
<p>“So declaring I wanted to start a family with you someday... wow. That's crazy stalker talk right there.”<br/></p>
<p>“Well, I wouldn't go that far, we've known each other a long time and I think these feelings have been building even on my side for a couple of years now.”<br/></p>
<p>“And then I went and told you I love you. I should have never burdened you with that information.”<br/></p>
<p>“Now hold on,” Leonard protested, putting his arms around Jim again. “That was not a burden. I really meant it when I said that was the most amazing thing you could have said to me. I will always remember the way you looked that night, telling me you love me. What I should have said, and what I'm saying now, is that even though I don't know what a relationship between us will look like, and while I'm not ready to run off into the sunset with you, I love you, too, Jim. I love you.”<br/></p>
<p>Leonard kissed him then and Jim felt the other man bend to swing him up into his arms and carry him into what had started to become their room and lay him on the bed. He turned on the hologram and lay down next to him, stroking a broad hand over his belly.<br/></p>
<p>“So, it's that simple?” Jim asked, a little taken aback. “We had kind of a traumatic experience yesterday, you explain yourself, tell me you love me and then take me to bed?”<br/></p>
<p>“Shit, I”m screwing up again.”<br/></p>
<p>“Not really,” Jim laughed, and then laid his head on Len's chest. “I was just expecting worse case scenario, and I don't want to screw up again. What are we doing? Are we going back to what we were before yesterday?”<br/></p>
<p>“Yes, no, maybe? I don't know, but you're right, playing it by ear doesn't work with us. I don't want to leave you unsure. I don't want to be unsure for that matter. What do you want to do?”<br/></p>
<p>“Well, I don't want to go backwards, that's for sure. I still want to date, maybe call you my boyfriend, officially, at actually act like a couple around people. Is that too much, too soon?”<br/></p>
<p>“No, I think that would be just right,” he agreed. “I guess when you say people, you also mean family.”<br/></p>
<p>“I do. It shouldn't be that hard. Your parents already know.”<br/></p>
<p>“My parents helped you set all this up.”<br/></p>
<p>“You don't have to sound so accusing about it,” Jim grinned.<br/></p>
<p>“Well, we'll find out how easy or hard it is to act like a couple. I got a comm from mom and it's clear they have no idea I ran out on you and we went home separately. They want us over for lunch tomorrow to celebrate and talk about the New Year's Eve party.”<br/></p>
<p>“Oh, yay.”<br/></p>
<p>“Yeah. I thought I was worried about your expectations, it's my mother's that concern me the most.”<br/></p>
<p>“I just want to love you while you let me,” Jim admitted, sounding a little sad. “I hope that's from now on, but I'll take what I can get.”<br/></p>
<p>“Damn it, Jim,” Leonard huffed, hugging him close to him where they lay. “I know I'm asking to take it slow and talking like I don't know if I can do this but, darl'n, I don't think I could ever let you go. You most likely are stuck with me for good, if you can handle my flightiness at times.”<br/></p>
<p>“I think I can handle that.”<br/></p>
<p>“Good. You know, this hologram system is actually really romantic. Too bad this thing follows the day/night patterns, and I'm assuming the seasons.”<br/></p>
<p>“You didn't read the directions?” Jim asked. “Of course you didn't. I left the pamphlet under the device. Here, let me show you my favorite. Computer, hologram set to Caribbean summer night.”</p>
<p>Suddenly, the bed was on a beach, the only sounds being the wind blowing through palm trees and the ocean lapping at the shore. The sky was dark but filled with a million stars and in the distance, a full moon.<br/></p>
<p>“Well, I'll be damned,” Bones said in awe. “Guess I should have checked for directions.”<br/></p>
<p>“Now, did you bring me in here for a deep conversation about our relationship or something else?” Jim asked coyly.<br/></p>
<p>Leonard smiled softly at him before rolling on top of him and kissing him passionately, leaving his mouth to trail biting kisses across his jaw and down his neck. They shed clothing as he made his way south, kissing and softly biting at every inch of tantalizing skin he came across until he finally pulled off Jim's boxers, revealing the excitement of the other man, and taking him into his mouth. Jim writhed beneath him happily, trying to thrust up into the damp heat, only to be disappointed when Leonard allowed him to pop completely out of his mouth after only a couple of minutes.<br/></p>
<p>His disappointment was replaced by an even sharper arousal, however, when his legs were suddenly hoisted over Leonard's shoulders and a tongue was pressed flat to his opening. They hadn't actually gotten that far yet, and Jim was suddenly hoping they hadn't used up the supply of lube during the many bouts of handjobs and frottage they had indulged in since getting together. His mind quickly veered off into a lust filled haze, no longer able to think of anything coherent, as Bones went to work licking and sucking at his opening, working him open and leaving him dripping wet.<br/></p>
<p>Not willing to depend on spit to slick the way, however, Leonard grabbed for a tube of lube at random, coming up with the mango flavored, and worked a slick finger in beside his tongue, getting it much deeper than he had bee able to delve before, working a keening noise out of Jim. Before long, it was only Leonard's fingers inside of him, working in and out as he sat up onto his knees so he could watch Jim fall apart beneath him.<br/></p>
<p>Just as Jim was wondering if Leonard was going to make him cum on his fingers, said fingers left him to be immediately replaced by the blunt pressure of his head. Jim grabbed his legs behind his knees and pulled himself open even wider, tilting his head back and making his body relax completely, relishing the feel of the large cock sliding in smoothly.<br/></p>
<p>“Jim,” Bones moaned, overwhelmed by the feeling of his lover opening up so easily around him. He had been prepared to go slow and easily, but it seemed it wasn't necessary or wanted, so he set a quick pace that soon turned frantic and Jim moaned beneath him and squeezed around him. <br/></p>
<p>Jim felt like he was flying apart at the seams, finally being joined physically with the person he had wanted to be with for so long. It wasn't surprised when he finally came undone, coming untouched with Bones' name being shouted hoarsely towards the holographic sky. Leonard followed him quickly over the edge.<br/></p>
<p>Exhausted, both physically and emotionally, they fell asleep again wrapped around each other to sound of the waves lapping the shore. They wouldn't wake up again until well after noon.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Tomorrow the actual 25 days of Christmas begins!  The subsequent chapters will be nearly half the length of this first one.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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